ARRGGHH!

I'm bored. I don't have my class tonight, so I'm at home just jollybloggin'. I'm in the mood to make up new words. Deal.

You know what is just down right annoying? Hearing a new song on the radio, but having not a clue in the world who sings it. Generally this happens when it's a new artist. Case and point? I heard this great new song in the car the other day, and realized that I must have it. It sounded EXACTLY like Maroon 5 (which I don't normally care for). After extraordinary efforts were made to try and find this song online, but nothing. It didn't help that I had no song title to help me out, just the melody in my head. Feeling frustrated and at my wits end after long horrid hours of searching with no luck, I gave in and went to a local CD store. I thought for sure that the musically gifted employees could assist me in my heroic efforts. I get there and provide a young man by the name of Trey with all the following information I had on this song: "1. Sounds like Maroon 5 (but also sounds like a man sucking helium after being kicked in the ball sack), 2. Somewhat slow-going song, I'd get freaky to it...how about you Trey? Me, you, and a man with a bruised nut sack and a balloon?!?!? 3. And I distinctly remember the phrase 'flying high'...and Trey, just between you and me...I don't think he was talking about an aircraft ;)"

I think I may have scared the poop and piss out of Trey. Too much for such a low paying part-time job I bet. I don't blame him, I hate it when the crazies come in looking for 'information'. After all was said and done, he didn't seem to have a clue what the hell I was talking about, so directed my to their wonderful Maroon 5 collection. He said to me "here's our Maroon 5 inventory, sounds like Maroon 5, and is complete with a high pitched ball sack injured sounding singer...Sleezy sexual inuendos, and if you're lucky their may be reference to being cracked out on drugs." *Thinks hard in confusion* "I think that's the first time I've ever used those as selling points".

I didn't buy that CD, but the good news is I heard the song on the radio again shortly after that odd experience and discovered that it is by a new artist named James Blunt. He's an import from somewhere.. Maybe Ireland or England. The song is called "You're Beautiful" good stuff there. I ended up searching on iTunes for it, and found it, but to my surprise I found an even better song by him called "Goodbye My Lover" and oh my Gawd! The tears would not stop! Can you say 'LEAKY FAUCET'??

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

**********************

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

**********************

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

**********************

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

**********************

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bare my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

**********************

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a few Random Thoughts for the road...

- Orange Tic Tacs DO NOT compensate for a snack! I now realize why they print on packaging "Not a significant source of calories". Doesn't even crave hunger. I speak from very recent experience...

***********

-Hot sauce really can be put on anything.

***********

- Scratch that, hot sauce CAN NOT be put on Tic Tacs! blahhgg!

***********

-Michaela needs to remember that cough drops are NOT candy.

***********

-Mom does not like it when I refer to cooking utensils as surgical utensils.

***********

-I too would like to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good night and wishful thinking!

2 Posts Today...YAY

Well for anyone NOT in the midwest region, we're having a very wet/windy snow storm. It sucks BIG TIME! The wind has already topped out at 40 MPH. Well I was at my mom's work trying to help one of her employee's change gas prices outside. There are 4 signs at her location, and they're about 30 ft up in the air. You have to use a big pole like tool to move numbers around... And dawgonnit, we couldn't fucking change the numbers! The sign was icy and the suction part of the tool was wet...making it impossible.

Well while doing this, the local news station pulls up and starts video taping me and Chris laughing and yelling explitives at this sign, I contemplated giving them a friendly finger of sorts, but waved to them instead. Then they left. They just left! Without asking for my name...number...measurements!?!?! Nadda..Nothin' ! I was a bit confused for a short time, because I was under the impression that you must get permission from people before you put them on camera or at least ask them who they're wearing....neither of which they did. Well it turns out they asked my mother... So if all goes as planned, I may be on the local news tonight! AWOOHOO!

Random Facts For Your Tuesday:

-This morning I put the Q-tip in too far...Note to self: Michaela, stop when there is resistance!

-The snow is sticking to inappropriate areas of my dogs body...it is really starting to tick him off!

-My dog was so excited when I came home today that he peed on my foot...Is it bad that only 65% of me thought it was disgusting, while the other 35% thought it was lovely because my shoes and socks were soaking wet and frozen from the snowy/slushy ground and the urine was warm. Thus, causing my foot to instantly warm up?

-After re-reading the above fact, I threw up alittle in my mouth...reassuring me that indeed 100% of me now thinks it was unbelievably disgusting!

-I too wish I could go 1 mile on a Hippity Hop...

-My dear mother will always do 2 things: 1. Take 2 Ginko Biloba vitamin tablets in the morning. 2. Refer to Ginko Biloba as "Ginko Binko"

"Mom, It is not a game on The Price is Right. "

-I think I may be the only person that has no problem blogging on a Sunday night. Cheers to those with no life or values...

Public Service Announcement

Today me and my mother went to Nebraska Furniture Mart (NFM) for a gas stove. We decided that to fit in with our budget better and still get the one we wanted, we'd apply for the instore credit card. This allows you to pay what you want on it, we of course will pay it off as soon as possible, but it's a bit of a comfort to know that we don't have to pay it all at once.

My moms credit is pretty good, well good enough to be able to buy a house (not sure if that says a whole lot). My parents are divorced, and about 10 years ago my dad ruined my moms credit purely on 3 things: laziness and gambling and stupidity. Luckily my mother is a genius with her brilliant street smarts and has done a remarkable job building her credit to where it is today. She was however a blob of nerves and stress while waiting the whole 10 minutes to see if she was approved for a card.

This was the process, and quite strange it was to me. We picked out the stove we wanted and with the help of a tall, burly, raspy-voiced man named Bill who seemed to have a bad case of indegestion...(that or he was constantly yawning with his mouth closed..my money is on the indegestion) we were able to order it and set up a day for delivery. As far as payment options went, we could pay for it all up front, or apply for a NFM credit card and only pay a minimum of $30 a month. Burly bill innocently (though very convincingly) put the fear of God in my mother when he told us that we have to wait 15-20 minutes in a seating area for the results of our credit check. Life changing shit right there people! As if my mother was a dead-beat man waiting on the results of a paternity test...

So we get to the little booth where they input her info and send it to the credit check office...probably like 10 stories below ground level in a heavily guarded room to protect the creditors from angry declined customers. They have us take a seat in this small area and wait for our name and results to be called. The seating area is literally in the middle of the busiest part of the store and my mom is ready to pee her pants in fear of them broadcasting over the intercom that she has been declined for a credit card. The fun I had with her during those terrifying 14 minutes...I'll remember it for weeks..maybe even months.

Conclusion to this story is that she was approved and we ended up with a new gas stove which will be hear between 5pm-9pm on Wednesday..YAY!

Random Thought: Highschool football mom's scare the BAJESUS out of me!

My life is pretty boring right now...I've decided to make an amazon wish list, but it'll take some time.

Kisses! Who's you're blogga'?

The only thing worse than a rude person is a person who is being rude just for the sake of being rude. I had a customer come in today to buy cigarettes, and man oh man was he a real ass! The guy was probably in his early 50's and he came in with one of those huge check books...more like a check binder, I think they're only for businesses. Didn't say hello in return or anything, just looked up long enough to point and ask(more like demand) 3 packs of Marlboro's. I went ahead and got them, proceeded to ring them up on the register and then asked hime if there would be anything else with his purchase today. He looked at me as if I had started rambling off in a language very much foreign to him, then said no in the rudest way possible. His total came to $11.20 and he wrote out his check and handed it to me. We run our checks electronically on the spot to keep us from excepting bad ones, the only problem is that sometimes the check machine won't except business check...though sometimes it will. So I go to the machine to run it, and the guy says to me as if he were employee of the month; "NO, the check will not go through, so DO NOT put it in there!" I looked at him and said in the sweetest most polite way possible, "Sir, I've got it, thank you". What I really wanted to say is "Why the fuck don't you leave the cashier handling procedures to me and I'll leave the fugly old white man job to you....Oh and smoke a few more packs a day to speed up the process, thank you, and come again"! Of course that would not be in my nature, now would it? The icing on the cake for this situation was when he asked for a book of matches. Now for anyone that smokes, you'll know that many gas stations offer a complementary book of matches when you buy a pack of cigarettes. Our company is not soo anal retentive that it requires you give out NO MORE than 1 book per customer, but it's pretty much common sense that 1 is ample amount for one person. Well Mr. jack ass had this to say to me when I handed him 'only' 1 book of matches to him; "Hello in there(refering to my brain?) 3 packs would mean 3 book of matches...it's not as if it were rocket science or anything". I couldn't make this shit up even if I tried!

In regards to my previous post, I've gotten quite a few comments from you guys taking to heart my CNL (Christmas Needs List). Just so you know, I don't expect any of you to supply me with any of these items that will be sparatically posted in the coming months.The adult part of me is posting the CNL as a mental note written down, while the child in me posts the CNL in hopes that the big fat guy in the red suit will be reading blogs to help him distinguish the naughty and nice of bloggers. I love you guys and if anything would just like a post card, other wise just blogging with you is more than enough for this purdy lady!

Speaking of my CNL....

Item #2 of Need:



A vintage shirt. I feel the need to conform, and though this fashion trend is probably very close to dead if not already, I'm still game. I found this site and found a few that made me and the voices in my head laugh.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR VINTAGE SHIRT LOGO WOULD BE!
It can be one that you saw and liked, or you can let the originality pour out and make one up! I have no originality whatsoever...so I'll need time on this one.

Going to bed because I have to wake up at 4am...

Hello kiddies, it's been awhile since we last mingled...Well if you call a week a 'while' as I certainly do. I apologize for the absense, but I started my new job a couple of weeks ago, and I'm really friggin tired when I get home. I have however, missed you like you wouldn't believe!

The job is going well, like I said I'm just tired. I have to wake up Tues-Fri at 4:15am which needless to say I am not used to. I also worked the late shift last night which will be a weekly thing, and then I helped out at another store on Friday night b/c they were short handed. Many of you may be thinking, "shit woman, 35 hours a week and you think you're dead tired now? Try working 50 or 60 hours a week then tell me how 35 hours felt" or something along those lines. Keep in mind that I have not worked a stand-up job in about 6 months, so my body just has to get used to it again.

Friday night when I got home, my feet were KILLING me! They hurt soo bad, I just wanted to cut them off. Do you ever stand on your feet so long that when you finally relax, you just want to kneed them like bread dough? Well that's how mine felt on Friday. Friday was a particularly long day though. I worked 6am-noon and then again from 3pm-10pm...So that was a pretty long day with only 2 lunch breaks back-to-back inbetween.BLAAHHHG!

The store that I work at is open 24 hours and the over-night shift is covered by one person. Well on Thursday nights it's covered by this really tall, kid who for the sake of his own protection we'll call, Ned. So I got to work Friday morning and Ned was finishing up putting the order away when somehow him and another employee got to talking about Santa. They got on the topic of when each one stopped believing in Santa and Ned says to us, "I never believed in Santa because my mom never told me he was real". We were like, huh? Then he said, "Yeah, my mom doesn't believe in lying to children"... After he said it I was alittle sad for him, but not at all wierded out by it, until he made his next comment. "Yeah, and I used to work at a daycare, and I told all the kids that Santa wasn't real...they didn't beleive me at first, but I told them my mom told me straight up, he's fake".

Now that I've officially introduced the topic of Santa, I'd like to state for the record that the holidays are just around the corner and that means that lists of all kinds need to be made. And in the honor of Dane and his Christmas Needs List, I too will offer insight as to what I would like for the holiday season...Just incase the big man in the red suit is a blogger himself.

You Gotta Have Friends:

That's right, I'm a proud fan of mid 90's television phenomenon, that follows the lives, loves, and laughs of six young friends living in Manhattan. I already have complete Seasons 1,2,5,and 7, the best of collections vol.1-4, and for some unknown reason I have 2 copies of the best of season 4 dvd. I would love any of the following : Seasons 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, or 10

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

EAT LOTS OF CANDY!

I had the wierdest dream last night!

I was inside this huge ship/spaceship/submarine looking thing that was half filled with water. By big, I mean huge! At least the size of a mall if not bigger. In fact, it kind of was set up like a mall in the sense that there were stores or rooms outlining the whole inside of the vessel. Then there was a walkway outside these rooms that also served as a balcony which over-looked to this huge center pool of water. This pool of water was big enough that it was producing waves. The ship was not fancy or furnished in any way like a mall, instead it looked like a submarine and just the metal/steel or whatever they're made of. Very industrial like.

I was among about 1,000 pther people stuck in the water having not a clue where or why we were there. After what seems like hours of struggling to stay above water and trying to figure out what we're doing there the whole top of the vessel opens up. It opened ever so slowly and in the same manner of elevator doors (from the middle and opening out). Once the doors opened they reveal what appears to be the clear starry night sky, but could easily be outerspace as well... Suddenly we hear a mans voice over a very loud intercom system. Seconds later we follow the voice to a huge screen with that very same man speaking..What the hell? The man is Bill Gates! He is standing outside a spray paint shop inside the vessel looking down upon us. He is being video taped and put on big screen so we can all clearly see him.

He has this whole speech planned out, most of which I can't for the life of me remember. Then I suddenly blurt out, "Why the hell are we here, and when will we get to go home? Even with 1,000 people screaming and flailing about through the water, Bill still seems to hear me and replies, "You will all stay here for 508 days, unfortunately for quite a few of you, you will not be going home". "Then where are you taking us?", many asked in return . Rich bastard just smiled and let out an evil cackle.

Later on Bill returned to give us the run down on our food supply. He informed us that we would only be allowed to eat canned spaghetti and to make thinks even more interesting- every day 1 can that gets handed out will be laced with a lethal dose of poison. Now that pissed me off!

At that point I was able to get out of the water and scale the balcony, where I found my childhood friend Lisa who was balled up in the fetal position. I sat down next to her and retorically asked, "can you fucking believe this shit?" She then went on to tell my that her parents had sent her off to something similar to this a few years back, only they didn't know it was like this. They thought it was a camp that taught kids how to build their own business empire. She said that the 'evil dictator' at that 'camp' was no other than Oprah! Lisa said that it was just like this only Dr. Phil made MANY visits.

After hearing that, I was ready to over throw this whole thing, when I WOKE UP!

That was by far the craziest dream I have had in a long while!! I will be very suspicious of Bill Gates and Oprah for quite some time.

Anyone had any strange dreams lately? Let me know! Or if you know how to analyze dreams, I'd would just LOVE to hear what the hell this one meant...

Take the quiz: "Which Horror Movie Are You?"

The Craft
You're whole life, you've felt different. You know you're different, and that is why you break away from the norm and don't give a shit what other people think about you. You're you, you're proud, you're a bit... weird might I say? but you're far more interesting than most people will ever percieve. Keep being yourself, whether people like it or not.

I didn't realize that I went a whole week without posting. That is really strange, I must have been alot more busy than I thought.

I started my new job on Monday. Its convenient store work, which is nice because I have about 2 years of experience in that area. I went way too long without a job for reasons I don't even think I could clearly explain, but now I have one and the money will finally be able to start flowing in. The bank will probably take a double look when they see my account growing...My God its a miracle! She actually has money coming in, somebody take a picture of this, they WILL NEVER believe us!"

I was originally supposed to train all week, but once they figured out that I'm not their typical idiot and that I actually comprehend the job, they moved me to my store. That was 2 days into training...YAY ME! It's all easy stuff, the worst part is that I have to be at my store at 6am Tues-Fri and the commute is about 25 minutes, not to mention that I have to shower and get dressed. Also when winter officially arrives, I have to warm my car up, and the part of town I'm in I can't leave it running unattended. Long story short, I have to wake up WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY!

My sister called from school and asked me what I wanted for Christmas...Well actually she asked if I liked a few different things, I think she was shopping already. She's the bestest seeder a gurl could have! This got me thinking, what the hell am I going to get her? I had not a clue, and when I ask her I get the typical bestest seeder answer "You don't need to get me anything". Then a light bulb went off, I'm so gonna get her a ***********************************************

*HAHAHA GOTCHA LIDYBOMBIDY, THOUGHT I'D ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING SO FOOLISH, HUH? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE*

Have a good night kiddies

I HAVE A LOVE?HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THESE LISTS...

Got this from my friend Steph:

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4AM! I had to be at work at 6am.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds ARE a girls best friend3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?Must Love Dogs
4. What is your favorite TV show? Lost, Surface, Buffy, Law and Order, John Stewart, Gilmore Girls
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Slimfast and apple

6. What's your favorite cuisine? I love BBQ

7. What foods do you dislike? zuccini, lamb, deer, 90% of beans, sushi

8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar baby!

9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? Death Cab for Cutie
10. What kind of car do you drive? I'm ashamed to say...86' Mercury Lynx

11. Favorite sandwich? meatball
12. What characteristics do you despise? Mean bitter people. People who cheat to get ahead in life, ingrateful people, road rage..

13. What is your favorite type of clothing? Jeans, cropped pants, sweatshirt/t-shirt, sandals or sneakers.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would yougo? North Dakota...I hear it's a woot!
15. What color is your bedroom? I don't appreciate this question...for you must have known that I have Peter Rabbit wallpaper...IT WAS THERE WHEN WE MOVED IN!! I lack the time and ability to remove it!

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Lane Bryant, Eddie Bauer(though I have little from there...), Target, Old Navy
17. Where would you retire to? the ocean
18. Favorite time of the day? Night...because I get to sleep

19. What was your most memorable birthday? Well the ONE and only birthday party that I had friends invited to, was at Champs restaurant and sports bar...I was like 11...I got jelly beans as a present. It was swell!
20. Where were you born? Omaha Nebraska...
21. Favorite sport to watch? gymnastics
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Steph, cuz shes already done it!
24. What fabric detergent do you use? ERA
25. Were you named after anyone? Unfortunately yes...My father Michael. Someday ask me the dumb story behind it.

26. Do you wish on stars? sure

27. When did you last cry? I don't know

28. Do you like your handwriting? Not really, it's too sloppy sometimes 29. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? sure, I'm bubbly and welcoming

30. Are you a daredevil? not at all
31. Do looks matter? unfortunately, yes
32. How do you release anger? I burn something....JK! I get really pissy
33. Where is your second home? I have one home
34. What were your favorite toys as a child? Oh man...it's hard to remember that far back. I watched Dirty Dancing ALOT when I was little. That was probably a toy for me. I vagely remember barbies, but not alot of them
35. What class in High School was totally useless? I guess math

36. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who me?.

37. Favorite movies? Generally anything with John Cusack, Truman Show, The Whole Nine Yards, The Village....
38. What are your nicknames? Chaelly, Chaellyboo, pooperina(not used anymore for obvious reasons)
39. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no

40. Do you think that you are strong? I will hunt you down...and kick YOUR ass! Strong enough for ya?
41. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate
42. What are your favorite colors? green, orange, lavendar

43. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm fat and every part of my body
44. Who do you miss the most? Lydia, Steph, Peanut and Sylvia...Lydia and Steph I'll see soon, but the other two are left in my memories
45. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? I don't really care
46. What color pants are you wearing? khaki
47. What are you listening to right now? the voices in my head
48. Last thing you ate? salad
49. If you were a CRAYON what color would you be? granny smith apple green!
50. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mother
51. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? body and sense of humor

52. Favorite Drink? margaritas
53. Do you wear contacts? No

54. Favorite Day of the Year? Christmas

55. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? happy endings

56. Summer or winter? Spring and fall57. Hugs OR Kisses? kisses...I like to suck face from time to time
58. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? cake
59. What Book(s)Are You Reading? my journal...

60. What's On Your Mouse Pad? my mouse...
61. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Um...nothing
62. Favorite Smells? My moms signature perfume, Men's Calogne, clean clothes, outside, campfires
63. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles

64. What's the furthest you've been from home? Washington DC

I don't know what to say....My brain is empty!

I just got home from my first day of training. Its was really boring. I dod however get to refresh on the characteristics of sexual harrassment in the workplace. I've come to realize that I know where all the actors from the day-time soap Passions were picked from...Cheap employer demonstrational videos! Because the acting is equally as shitty! My dog could have done a better job than them. But, I guess it's not about the quality, it's about the quantity of the info derived from it.

What if there were an award for employer demonstrational videos? I'd call it "The Chaellyboo"....and the The Chaellyboo for worst on-screen demonstrational acting goes to? That's got a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

You guys, I can't think, my brain is in fart-mode.

Later!

Good news: I'm not going to Hell & crazy socks are back in style!!!

Well at least according to the ex-con poor man I gave $1 to. This all happened while I was at the gas station fillin' up the Suzuki. ($36.88 to fill the little bitch up!). I got to chatting with a lady that had a dress on with a bunch of crazy colored socks attached to the skirt in the most random places. I had to look twice to make sure I was really seeing socks, when she looked at me and said "ohhh, yeah, it was Crazy Sock Day at school...the kids get mad if I don't participate". I let out a maniacal cackle when I realized that now I can dedicate ONE WHOLE DAY to crazy socks!! ROCK ON!!

Then while crazy sock lady and I were chatting it up, a very haggard looking poor man walked up to us and proceeded to explain how he had just gotten out of prison and that he was applying for a job at the Red Cross, but wondered if we could spare a buck to help him until he gets employed. I could tell that the lady didn't want to give him anything, but quite the perdicament she was faced with after just rambling on about how she is the worlds BEST teacher...And just between us...wouldn't the worlds BEST teacher help a fellow Omahian out? I too probably would not have given him anything..as I don't like to promote being in prison, but the man had excellent evidence with him that he was trying to get a job! Even had a copy of his birth certificate and drivers ID. I'm not sure why, but I glanced at it and let me just say...HE TOTALLY LIED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT!!! I saw some man flab under that coat... So I ended up giving him a buck as well...I also informed him that Pottery Barn was hiring for seasonal help, just incase he was interested!!!

Then as I concluded fillin up the car, he asks another lady that was in a Mercedes...and you can probably guess what she said, yup, that's right, she said "NOO, go away" (complete with the scrunched nose and 'go away' hand gesture). As I was about to leave, the man walked by the car and said to me " yeah, you know you won't be goin to Hell now!! Thank you maam, but that other woman...*looks her way* she gonna be needin' some sunblock for where she goin.

What a load off my shoulders, because my highschool peers totally had me under the impression that if you didn't own a Mercedes...you would go to HELL!!

If you're bored, you can put yourself on my map! Just click on the 'MAP YOURSELF' link to the left.

Here's a treat for ya! Enjoy!

MAPS MAPS

Got this over at Crystal's...hope she doesn't mind!

http://www.risingconcepts.com/frapper/chaellyboo

Let me know where you at homie!!

You know you're at Wal-mart

Thanks to Crystal for the idea on this.

Things seen at walmart:

Engaged couple picking out their wedding rings from the '$10.99 or less' rack. I hope they splurged and went for the $10.99 rings, anything less would be just plain CHEAP!

Applesauce and such

Years ago my mother prided herself with the fact that if worldly destruction came upon us, we would be well fed for a good 5 years with her healthy wholesome homemade canned food. We had everything...applesauce, salsa, chili sauce, a variety of jams including: strawberry, peach, raspberry, wildberry, applebutter, jalapeano, blueberry...Also canned veggies: pickles and beets, chili beean dip, tomato sauce, tomato puree, and whole tomatoes.

I believe the last time she canned something was in 1997, and what would ya know...WE STILL HAVE CANNED GOODS that is now 8 YEARS OLD! I'm not willing to put my stomach and my lacking gag reflex on the line for a possible glitch in the preservation-of-food-thru-canning system!!! I bring this up because my mom made a lovely dinner tonight, and thought it would be nice to have a generous serving of her famous applesauce with our pork. I trust 8 year old applesauce about as much as I trust 2 week old raw beef!

Today I spent a few hours outside doing yard work. It was a beautiful day to be out! It's hard to believe that it's still in the mid 70's in the middle of October...Hard to believe in Nebraska! I'm like 4 minutes walking distance from Jocelyn Castle, which is just shy of of being the most beautiful place in the Midwest.

Have a creative evening young ones!

What do ya know...bored AGAIN!!

Another lonesome night all by thee self!! You'd think after so many boring nights I'd get used to it, but no...it's the same thing every time! I'm currently drinking a tequila and lime juice while I listen to some easy tunes. I'm switching it up between Iron and Wine, The Fray, Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack, and last but certainly not least...Death Cab for Cutie.

My day was not much more thrilling than this evening. I had my 7 hour art class, but got out really early due to blissfully wonderful weather. When I got home from that, I sat down and flipped channels for a while. I stumbled across something funny that I thought you'd all like to hear. On E! they had some kind of True Hollywood Story on Miss America pagents, and the only thing I heard was this real bitch of a lady say "You don't see ugly women competing now do you? An ugly woman will not win, sorry ladies but that's the cold hard truth". At that moment I really felt like telling her where she could put her crown...

My older sister stopped by today. I don't want to use the word 'hate' but I sincerely dislike my sister. She is the purest form of evil there is! The sad part is that after we moved a couple of months ago, we went from being about 20 minutes away from her, to literally being 3 minutes from her! That is NOT good news! Someday I'll post the long dramatic Dynasty-like reason for why I'm not close to her, but I have a slight buzz and I don't want to spoil that!

Before I go, just a few things I'd like to say to the people who's blogs I read daily:

Dane: What the hell is with the suspense on this big 'Post'? I'm expecting something big my fellow blogger! Big.Huge.!

Fritz: Let me know if you need any tips on accomplishing EM. II. I'd be more than happy to come up with a few tactics for ya!! (I'm thinking LARGE scale profanity and nudity!).

Crystal: I have a good feeling I will think of you the next time I go to KMart or Walmart!! I'll definately stop by bedding to see the deals!

BOBI: Happy Birthday man! Go out and party! But don't drive or type while intoxicated...I mean it! If I find out you were typing under the influence...there WILL be hell to pay!!

Ashley: I'm jealous that you're so smart AND that you take Sociology online! Congrats on the 98!

Good Night people!!

Bored...On A Friday!!!!

It's 7pm here in Omaha. It's Friday night, and as usual I'm deciding what boring movie I should watch tonight. My brain is weighing the options between Two Weeks Notice, Friends Season 5, or Seinfeld Season 2...The decisions my mind is forced to make. Life or death people, really!!

There doesn't seem to be a whole lot on tonight, except the usually 'TGI Friday' shit. My mom swears by the show Hope & Faith on channel ABC. She also likes that new show on CBS with Jennifer Love Hewitt and that my friends is enough to make me want to eat my own vomit!! I really really dislike Ms. Hewitt and her acting skil...well what she does. I don't like to call her an actress or a singer or a talented anything! The one and only time I happen to be watching The View a couple weeks ago, Jennifer just so happened to be a guest. And my biggest wish was fulfilled! Everyone in the world had the opportunity to realize what an incompetant fool she is and why we should all damn her to manual labor!

In a 3.5 minute time span she went from talking about how she has 2 dead people in her house (in real life people!! Not on her show!!) And how these people were drawing off her energy...blah blah blah. Then to the other side of the nutbag extreme which is how she sent Matt Damon a bed! She claims that she read in the paper that Matt Damon was quoted saying that he was so tired from traveling around the world for work that he didn't even have a bed of his own to sleep in. So she goes ahead and does what most sane people do...She sends him a bed and a card then continues to get annoyed when he doesn't respond. I know it seems like a nice thing, but it's looney like tunes!

I think Law & Order SVU is on...I do love that show. Boy, would I love Detective Stabler to just....eehh eemm. I think we'll just leave that dream alone.

I'm gonna go do something productive.
Bye

Sorry for the craziness!!!!!

I've been being anal lately about my blog. I originally made my own template from scratch, but it ended up looking like a box of Cheez-It crackers. I finally found one that I think I like. Either way, I'm tired of looking for what I want, so this one will be staying for a while!

Night!

Don't get too comfortable...

I'm not sure if I like this template. I'm trying it out for a day or two and then I'll decide. I don't like the way the sidebar is all the way at the bottom. If anyone knows how to fix that, I would greatly appreciate the tip! Thanks

The Mighty Golden Arches and Cheez-It

Does anyone else get the vibe of the 'golden arches' and a box of Cheez-It crackers when they enter this blog??

I'm ohhh so proud of it because it took me about 4.5 hours to figure out how to change the template 'manually'...I think I'm going to search for a new template that DOESN'T remind me of McDonalds.

The Wonder of Midtown

So I woke up early this morning only to be greeted with my car having been broken into. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure I'd classify this as a typical burglary. Why, you may be asking? Well not only did the not take very much, they were very considerate as to not break any glass and closed the door when they were finished.

We just recently moved from West Omaha, to Midtown Omaha, and there is quite certainly an adjustment period. West Omaha, is alot newer (as Omaha grew to the West), and overall alot cleaner. Without being offensive, I'd say there is less crime and less homeless occupancy in West Omaha. Midtown is a much more spicy story. There's so much more flavor to Midtown, with 100 year old homes that have been refurbished into multi-thousand dollar homes, eclectic shopping strips, and alot more homeless people. We have a garage behind our backyard that is accessable through an alley, and as most alley's go, you tend to get some comotion in the last hours of the evening. I've seen a few people pass with their shopping carts, they go thru people's trash and make more noise than I think they realize, but they seem to be very pleasent.

Enter the crack of dawn this morning... I wake up super early to go help my mom at work, and I get in my car (nothing noticable from exterior of car). When I get in I realize that my glove compartment box is open and both sun visors are down completely (This is damning evidence for me!) I'm not all that upset because they didn't take anything from either of those places for lack of valuable stuff in them.


I have a really messy car right now. It's a mix of clothing, old school stuff, and trash.. I know where everything is, it's just built up to a mountain of my shit that is conveniently used as fuel for my mother's fire *wink wink*. The did steal my yellow UNO sweatshirt! I only wore it once, but it meant so much more to me than anyone will ever realize. It's not everyday you stumble upon a yellow and brown themed college sweatshirt for a college who's colors are red and wite...I stood out, and liked it!!

A moment of silence for the sweatshirt.

I'm going back to bed, peace out!

How Could I Forget?

I just received an email from my friend Steph out in San Francisco who brought 2 things to my attention (1 she probably didn't realize). The first is that I forgot to mention her in my last post! The second one I've forgotten, so it's not all that important!!

To Steph: I truly am very sorry, by not mentioning you I hope you didn't assume that I WOULD indeed make you wear neon flapper/fringe?! I would only make one person wear something so awful because it would only match her awful personality and I believe you know who I'm speaking of (*cough* lauren *caugh*).

Though I could probably make some arrangements if you're interested in the personalized cape...

Just so we're all up to speed, Lydia and Steph have recieved written blog evidence of my promise to keep them out of the flapper/fringe/Dolly/RuPaul bridesmaid gowns! So long as you wake me up with a 'wet willie' if I ever think that red ribbon ass bows would look good.

Deal.

Dream Analysis Anyone??

Last night I had a weird one of a dream. I dreamt thatI was getting married. Who I was marrying is one big blur, the focus of the whole dream was what the bride (me!) and my bridal party wore. Disclaimer: If you easily get nausious at the thought of overly bright colors and patterns, then please, for your own safety, do not read further.

I had on a very princess-like gown, but insisted on a big fat red ribbon to be tied around my waist and tied in a huge bow on my ASS! Then, so as not to leave the big ass bow lonely, I had a similar situation placed on my head! Like a little school girl. Many of you may be thinking...'Oh that's not all that bad, it could be much worse'. Yes, it could be, and ironic you say that, because it gets MUCH MUCH WORSE!!!

I ended up having like 13 bridesmaids, which is silly, because I don't even think I know 13 people that would willingly fill a bridesmaid position for me. Each bridesmaid wore a different color, and the common theme between these colors were NEON! It's really hard for me to describe what these dresses looked like, only because I puke alittle in my mouth everytime I think about it. But what the hell, here it goes. They were a cross between a 1930's flapper dress and a bad country fringe costume with sparkle, lots and lots of sparkle. To top it off, they came with personalized fringed cape's.

To my sister: I promise, I will not make you wear neon flapper fringe at my wedding.

So what the crap could that possibly say about me? The obvious? Dream Michaela has horrible horrible taste!



So what the crap does that say about me??

What did you do today?

Today I had my 7 hour art class, though I actually enjoyed it this week. Rather then meeting at the Elkorn campus and sitting in a room for the better part of the day, we met at Jocelyn Art Museum and screened the premiere of Art:21. Art:21 is a documentary of sorts on contemporary artists all over the place. The 4 artists featured were Cai Guo-Qiang, Laylah Ali, Krzysztof Wodiczko, Ida Applebroog. Never heard of them? Yeah, neither had I!!

I'm partial to contemporary art...I like it when the art actually has content on the artists behalf, not when it's a dot and a squiggly line and the artist says it's the viewers opinion what to depict from it...In fact I hate that!

The theme of the episode was Power. How different artists depict power in their artistic views. Cai Guo-Qiang did a number of different things. He produced art with gun powder. It was strange, but still very interesting, almost like performing art in the sense that you want to be there for the making of it. He sprinkles gun powder on canvas then blows it up, the end product is very interesting. He also liked the idea of things in slow motion. The beauty of a car flipping in the air 3 times in slow motion. He actually had an exhibit of this! It was amazing!

This is the car flipping in the air! Cool, huh?

Laylah Ali is a 2-D artist that I didn't really find all that interesting. The only thing I got out of her part in the documentary was that she is an anal-retentive crazy lady!

Krzysztof Wodiczko does large scale slide and video projections. Mostly focusing on political or controversial topics in society. Included are terrorism, rape, murder... His art often serves as monuments for different causes.

Ida Applebroog is just awesome! I don't even know how to explain her art. She doesn't even consider it art, and some of it I wouldn't either. She is definately a feminist in her art and in life. She does drawings that literally look like a 6 year old drew, and then sculptures that are sloppily formed bodies with giant vaginas! Vagina's seem to play a big part in her art. I kept seeing them everywhere. Hopefully I wasn't just imagining them, b/c you know you're in trouble when you're hallucinating vagina's!

Overall I thought they were all very interesting.

All images from www.pbs.org

Fritz

Saw this on Fritz site, so what the hell!
Instructions:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Here it is:
"The extreme shock of it all must have been because I was caught off-guard".

This came from What's that smell?...Get back here you little shit

I was having a very very bad moment with my dog.

Heavenly Comfort

I've dedicated my whole day to waiting for the delivery men to drop off my moms new mattress. It's an ultra blah blah pillowtop blah mattress that is supposed to be borderline heavenly. Well, the look my mom had on her face when she tested it at the store would lead me to believe that it is heavenly. There's only a couple other instances where one would need that kind of expression...you get my drift? My brilliant sister decided that it would be the perfect early birthday gift. She also is temporarily picking up the tab until Miss Jobless (that'd be me) gets a job and the moola starts rolling in by the truck loads again.

Did anyone else notice that Buffy is played in sindication on like 9 stations? I think FX was the channel I was watching it on today...Anyhoo I was watching it (the episode where Buffy is resurrected), and I was moved to tears. Then I realized that Buffy was the first and possibly the only show that has crappy acting by C-List actors that could still manage to make me cry...Now that's some good bad acting!!!

When do you think reality television will die??

Autumn is in the air

Today the weather is very mild, borderline chilly, but I love it! No clouds in the sky just the sun. It's this time of year that I love living in Nebraska!

Today I continue my hunt for a job! Wish me luck!

Blah..

I'm having one of those days. One of those days where you don't want to get out of bed...one that when you do, you just think about bed and sleep and nothingness until the day ends. I actually had a 'somewhat' active day....and by active I mean that I went to the Furniture Mart with my mom and the grocery store. In the spirits of Ashley, who really touched my blog soul with her very honest post, I guess I should dedicate one post to some honesty rather than the usual semi-humorous themed attitude.

I am a sophmore in college. I graduated highschool in 2004 and the following Fall entered University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) while living at home. Alot of things happened around that time, one of them being my mother getting her hard-working ass laid-off b/c the company she worked for was moving to Mexico. For awhile I had to step up to the plate and really help out, which I don't regret for a moment b/c my mother has worked her ass off for the better part of her whole life all in the name of her children. Helping out financially tought me a valuable lesson that not many 18 year olds get to learn. Most of the 18 year olds (that I knew from high school) were at the peak of the party hard era of their life and not working to help pay bills.

The transition from high school to college while living at home proved to be not nearly as smooth as I would have enjoyed it to have been. It wasn't until after Winter break of Freshman year that it really hit me like a wall. I went through this realization that I totally missed or was currently missing out on that part of my life when I'm away from the parents, growing as a person, learning new things, and meeting new people. I was doing the exact opposite! I was closer to my parents then ever before (I don't feel that to be a bad thing), I was NOT growing as a person, and I was only losing people in my life. Losing people in the sense that my high school friends were either out of state for school or at UNO, but partying it up and making new friends thru drinking and realizing that I'm an old lady that doesn't party so why the hell be friends with her. It was all of this that really slapped me into a depressed state.

It's funny because I never say it out loud...I'm depressed. I can type it, but I don't even like to say it to myself in an empty house. Maybe because I feel like I should be ashamed for feeling that way, because there are so many people out there that have much better reason to be depressed, and what I'm going thru is just a funk, one that 'would be fixed if I'd just take vitamins'. I'd say that the worst period of my 'funk' was like February-May. I just didn't want to get out of bed. I slept all the time, the only things that got me up were school and work. I was so hostle with my mom for no reason, just because I couldn't muster up enough energy or happiness to smile and at least pretend that I was fine.

Several attempts were made by my amazing sister to try to openly talk about my issues, but I denied it, said I was fine and that it was just a phase. Only a couple of times during heated arguement would I say there was a problem. I've never once really talked to my mom about it, only because she works like 80 hours a week...on a good week, so I know that how ever I felt, she probably felt 10x worse. The breaking point was physically hurting myself. I had a friend that me and a few of my close friends put thru an 'intervention' if you will during high school b/c she openly mutilated herself b/c of issues she had with her parents. At that point in my life I was a happy-go-lucky girl that could not fathom inflicting intentional pain on myself in the hopes of making some form of emotional pain go away. I remember telling myself that I would never suppress my anger or sadness to the point of doing that. 3 years later, feeling that I was about to fall off the edge, curiosity drove me to it, with a pocket knife, nothing serious, just some scratches probably over a 2 month period. I don't really know why I did it, maybe b/c it was better than the other thoughts that lingered far off in the corners of my mind. I know that I'm not at all proud of it. I also know that the only thing that I benefitted from it was realizing that I was not THAT crazy and that hurting yourself physically will not solve any problem.

To date I have not recieved any counciling nor any medical treament, partially b/c if I can barely talk to myself or my family about my problems, I know I can't talk to a therapist. I do think I'm alot better, I try to stay in touch with people from high school, and try to keep myself busy in general. I don't have a job right now, which I think is why I'm having one of those days...

I left my job of 3 years last November due to a change of command in the company that didn't sit well with me. Other than a temp position at a tux rental shop that a friend of mine worked at, and my 12 hour/week work study job which I stopped working at in May, I haven't had a steady job. My intentions at the beginning of the summer was to take a break for a month or 2 and try to get myself back in order. Well it's been like 4 months, and I'm just now looking for a job. I need one b/c we just bought a house and I'm 19 so it's really my responsibility to contribute financially. Well I'm having a shitty time finding one! Just my luck...I've always seen 'NOW HIRING' signs everywhere I went, but aparently every employer in town knows that I'm job hunting, and they're just playin' it safe.

One thing that in a real loserish kind of way has helped me is blogging. I started mine in July and though I'm not really part of a 'blog community' I really do take comfort and joy out of the regular blogs that I read. It really helps with that good old remedy of laughing your problems away.

It does feel better getting that out...even if it's just venting to empty space.

Good Night and wishing y'all as happy of a Monday as humanly possible.

Listening to: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie on the Six Feet Under: Vol. 2 Soundtrack verrrrrry good song.

I do not look forward to Saturday's anymore. I have a 7 hour art class on Saturday, and it just is not all it's cracked up to be. My first thought when I signed up for it was that it wouldn't be that bad because afterall, art is easy so it's just 7 hours of at least making it look like you're drawing. Well, instead it just kills. It starts at 9am, but takes me about 30 min. to get there then we scetch and take notes for about 2 hours, and after that we get a 10 minute break (to cleanse our ora of filthy information). Another 2 hours of Artsy crap we take lunch and let that settle with another 2.5 hours of doodling. I like art, but the first few classes are like how to shade and draw a circle, so it gets very tiring, very easily.

I wish I could post some things that I drew today, but I did everything on 18"x 24" newsprint... alittle too big for my scanner.

Yes that's right, I do not own a digital camera. Laugh all you want, but it's true and sad. I want one, I could use one, but we just have yet to get around to it, maybe soon.

I'm 52% DORK

Yay Me!

Holy Shit

Today was just another day in Omaha. Woke up early today, my mom had the day off so of course I was up earlier than usual. Went to class at 12:30 on the south campus. I'm taking a semester at Metro so that I can try and get some direction in my education.. There are many different campuses in Omaha (and Elkorn) one of them being to South Omaha campus. Being the sheltered spawn that I am, I've never really been acquainted with South Omaha. Not that it's a bad area, just that as my mom says "it's not nearly as safe as West Omaha". Well let me tell you, the crime rate is not what hit me like a WALL! That would be the horrific smell of COW SHIT! Yes, that's right, they chose to plop the South Campus of Metro right in the middle of the friggin Stockyards!

Apparently South Campus Metro is right next to the Meat Packing Co.. Well they get daily...wait make that hourly truck loads of cows (moment of silence for the cows), and when they come, they really come...shit and ALL! The smell is just unbearable, and I'm not talking about your typical driving on the interstate and pass the cute cow pasture...we're talking I'd-rather-stick-my-nose-in-my-dogs-butt-b/c-it's-so-much-better kind of stank! It's a whole new level of stench!!

My sources tell me that they store the cows underground b/c a few years back they stored them aboveground and they passed an ordinence due to the unbearable smell. Okay, I don't even want to think about the possibility of that area smelling any worse!

My crazy neighbor is being crazy again..

I need a digital camera, so I can post my own pictures.

At Ease

I fixed my link issue. It got pretty heated there for a minute, but all is well. I figured me self out how to put up links!



Remember: Put the you know what, in the you know where...

Issues HELP

I'm having big issues with my link section right now. I just switched to a new template, and in return, I get no link section. Hopefully I'll get my list back up in a few minutes.

If anyone knows how to put in a link section, please do tell, it would be greatly appreciated!

Peace Love and Nachos!!

The Lynx, Gnomes, and babies

My car is a total piece of shit. It just sucks. I have a 1986 Mercury Lynx that I got from my grandma about 2 years ago. At the time it was a very nice gift, and yes it has gotten me where I need to be for the most part, but I think it's on it's last wheel...To the naked eye, it seems like a nice car, no rust, clean inside, only 53,000 miles...but that's all just a show, when in reality it has battery issues (even with a new battery), gas leakiness, fan belt problems, and a very suspicious clunking sound underneath the car.

The clunking is the worst issue to date. I hear it when I'm braking while in reverse, and it sounds like little gnomes whacking at my axel with wooden mallets. What if it really is? How weird would that be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Had my micro-computer fundamentals class today. Nothing particularly exciting going on in there except for the fact that my instructor is a fool. She doesn't know a damn thing about computers, which makes me wonder how the hell she got a job teaching students..but we probably shouldn't pull on that string...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I seriously need to start blogging about my dreams, b/c you people would think I were on drugs if you read about some of the stuff I dream up.

Last night I dreamt that I was pregnant and I was telling everyone I knew about it, thus having giant baby showers thrown in me and my expecting offspring's honor...I even kept thinking that I needed to post about my baby coming on my blog, b/ c well, you all deserve to be in the know about my life. Half way through the dream I realize (while at my baby shower) that it was a lie that had gotten completely out of hand. I didn't have the balls to get up and tell everyone that I had made it all up, b/c that would make me look bad (wink wink). So instead I started to devise a plan that would get me knocked up ...exit that dream and enter another dream where I actually am pregnant, and I get the news that I'm having triplets...karma is such a bitch!

Moral of that dream? Don't lie otherwise you will give birth to triplets!

I suspect that it would SUCK

Last night I attended my first Sociology class at school. I had to late register into it, and due to lack of other options I willingly signed up for the Thursday night class from 6pm-10pm. Bad choice people! Very very BAD choice. If you're going to take a 4 hour night class that will run to 10pm, make it something a hell of alot more interesting than Intro to Sociology! Maybe basket weaving, or paper mache (sp?) or something that will keep those eye lids open!

To make this class even more painful, the instructor is just BLAH! He seems to be a pretty easy-going fella, but man is he monotone and repeatitive. There were 2 things that this man kept saying; "The problem with that is" and "I suspect ....".The "I suspect" one is what started sounding like nails on a chalkboard after about 1hour into the class. I need the class to be full time, and it is a gen ed, so life is good...I suspect.

I went into a gas station today to get an application for employment, and the man behind the counter said to me, "why the hell you wanna work in a hell whole like this?" Good question strange old man, but you really don't want to pull on that thread...

I have a 7 hour art class tomorrow...wish me good luck!!

Google...mmmmm

I awoke this morning to the sound of Regis Philbin screeching...this is what I was able to understand:

" Gilman, quick, google 'sucker' ".

I love you my sweet google.

Friends..friends..and yes, more FRIENDS!

We have yet to have any sort of television hooked up in our new house, and it's really starting to suck butt. I have several complete seasons of Friends, so I decided to watch those, and for all that is holy, I've seen every episode from seasons 1, 2, 5, and 7 at least 3 times! I was finally able to stop the insanity when I unpacked my complete season 1 & 2 Seinfeld set! Life finally makes sense again.

Unpacking is slowly starting to show noticable progress. My moms idea of unpacking and clearing out the living room and dining room means, "we're putting all this shit in your room". My room has red carpet and peter rabbit wall paper (plus a 3-D rabbit light switch)...mind you, I am 19...

Turns out we have our very own crazy neighbor. No home is complete without one, right? We actually have a few, but this one in particular wins the competition. He's 17 years old and plays with the 6 year olds in the neighborhood... I'm starting to think he's not all there, which in any case I'm always plesent with him, but he's constantly lurking behind a bush in our yard. I'd let my dog loose on him, but my genius of a dog would opt to hump his leg rather than protect his big sister...

What life is like with out the world wide web...

For the limited number of people that actually read my blog, you might have noticed that I have blogged like twice in the last 10 days. And for anyone that can't go a day without reading my blog, you took a much needed sigh of relief when you saw my 'I'm alive' post. (I just like to think that some 52 year old guy in Alaska with no life is obsessed with my blog...it makes my day). Well, we moved just shy of 2 weeks ago, and life has been a blur since.

For starters, my mother and I moved everything but heavy furniture by ourselves. We thought it would save money and in the long run I'm sure it did, but my God it was bad. Anyone familiar with Nebraska's lovely moist, sweltering heat knows the hell that it would be to spend a full 3-day weekend loading up a big ass U-haul truck (4 TIMES!) with only your 54 year old mother who is in no way built for that kind of labor, leaving you to do the shit end of it all.

I tried to put off the inevitable..I was hounded non-stop the last couple of days in the old house, and could barely take a piss without my mother around the corner asking, "When are you going to pack up that damn computer"? Amazingly enough, I was able to keep it up and running until the house was empty and it was either take it or leave it. Then came the fun part.

Way back when I had my internet access at my finger tips, I agreed to the idea of not having internet hooked up until we got settled into our new home (ie. 2-3 months). Well it turns out that someone who goes from using the internet everyday to not being able to touch it for days on end is very much similar to a drug detox program. The first few days I preoccupied myself with moving into the house, though it was on my mind constantly. Then came the sleepless nights where the only few minutes of sleep ended in a very uncomfortable cold sweat.

It was horrible. I was cut off from EVERYTHING! I read my news online, so I was not in the 'know' with things. Not to mention, we don't have television yet either, so that made it even worse! I actually had to do things like clean house, read, socialize...these are untread grounds for me.

I'm at my grandma's house right now, but now that school has started I can use the computer lab to regroup and collect myself. Plus now that I should be getting back into regular posting mode, you'll be rolling on the floor with all the funny shit that has happened while moving. So take off your shoes, put on your sweater jacket and sit down cuz it nothing but good times ahead!

Happy sailing to all

I'm alive!

I've been away because I was moving to a new house!

I'm at my grandma's house for dinner, so I can't chat...or else she'll kill me!

I'll post later!

Official Apology

I promise that I won't blog drunk again. I swear last night I thought that the previous post was my best 'work' to date... Well, it turns out that it was just a perfect example of your judgement being significantly impaired from alcohol.

Tomorrow is the big moving day! The movers will be here at 9am!!

I'm soo tired. I can't wait until this bullshit is done with!

Night.

My cheeks are hot...

I'm drunk.

I've just spent the last 2 days moving into our new house...me and my mom (who has a bad back) decided that we could do it on our own. 4 full U-haul trucks later, I figured out too late that no, we can't do it on our own. Not with out wanting to stab myself with a blunt knife into my left eye. (I'm a lefty so it only makes sense...). The sad thing is that between the 2 of us our stuff took 4 very large truck loads and we still haven't gotten everything.

I live in Nebraska, so of course 75 degree weather feels like 95 degrees with the humidity...Mix that with me and 78 boxes of which each weigh a good 40-50 lbs each...makes for more sweat than should be humanly possible.

I've decided to celebrate with margaritas. 6 of them...so far. So for the last 2 hours I've been sitting at the computer desk trying to read about hurricane katrina and listening to 'Swing Life Away' by Rise Against. I bought the song on iTunes after i'd heard it several times on the radio. Thought it was a good song, I liked the mellowness of it. Well after 4 drinks, I got to listening to the lyrics and realized...what the shit?

Let us disect this 'shit'...

A. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours first, lets compare scars i'll tell you who's is worst". The first part of that line sounds like he's talking about private parts. and "..i'll tell you who's is worst". Is that even proper english? Not in my grammer book.

B."We get by just fine here on minimum wage...If love is a labor I'll slave till the end". Okay very sweet and induring, sounds like something you could stitch on a pillow. But when you put those lines together, it seems like you're being paid minimum wage for laboring over love. And really, should you be getting paid for loving?? Sounds a little scetchy if you ask me.

C. "I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand". What, are you like 5 years old? Cross the damn street on your own.. And if you are 5, my above statement comes into question. Why are you loving someone else? And for minimum wage none the less?

I don't really like this song anymore...I've listened to it on repeat for the last 2 hours.

Oh, my! I was just looking for a new song to listen to on repeat...I found one...oh did I ever! 'Feeling Good' by Nina Simone very blue-sy...oh I'm lovin' it.

"Birds flyin' high you know how i feel... Sun in the sky you know how i feel... Breeze driftin' on by you know how i feel... Its a new dawn its a new day, it's a new life for me...

*****

We bought 'Hint of Lime' chips to go with our southwestern theme celebration. And to my surprise, 'Hint of Lime' chips do NOT sit well with tequila. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat chips with a 'Hint of Lime' unless you want a 'Hint of Vomit' in your mouth 6 drinks into your evening.

I'm now done with my 6th margarita, and i'm eying the tequila and margarita mix like a starving child looking at a loaf of bread. Both are within my reach...should I? Shouldn't I?

****

I'm on my 7th margarita.

****

Just so we're all clear, this post is being created over about a 3 hour time span...Maybe an 2 hours, but no less!

I just realized that after i bought Rise Against's 'Swing Life Away' off of iTunes, it's on Netscape music FOR FREE! What a waste of money...Do you have any idea what I could have done with that $.99? I live 3 minutes away from a $1 general store...the possibilities are endless.

****

I'm pretty drunk right now. The sad thing is that I'm all by my lonesome. I would say that the only thing worse than a drunk, is a lonely drunk. But I'm not really 'a drunk' I'm just drunk. So I guess it doesn't count.

I'm on Netscape Music right now, and I thought I'd try listening to some Hillary duff to see if my reaction is any different while intoxicated...After careful analysis, I've decided that no, she still sounds like howling dog.

I'm having trouble typing. Good night.

P.s. Anamika, I will post my interview questions tomorrow!!!

Harry Potter...vagina??

Said to me last night by my friend Steph.

I'm watching Date my daughter...and it's a lesbian episode and she's like "Ahhh Ariel looks like Harry Potter...with a vagina! I love it!"

That one caused a cramp in my side.

BOBI's interview

1. Praying Mantises or Sea Urchins?
I love the Praying Mantis because it can do that to a hummingbird.
Muwahaha...2 points Praying Mantis...0 points humming bird.

2. What comic-book hero's (who has not had a movie made yet and does not, now, have a movie in the making) movie would you most like to see? (Ex: X-Men, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Superman, Batman: unacceptable)
I never was a big comic book reader. Nothing against them, in fact I enjoy a good comic from time to time, but when I was a kid my parents definately would have told me that was a big waste of money.

With that said, I'll go with Super-Pets. Knowing that there's a Kryptonian monkey named Beppo is more than enough of a reason to keep me interested...

3. Do you like it hot or cold when you sleep?
Cold. Please, someone that enjoys it hot when they sleep, explain to me why one would be comfortable sleeping in their own sweat? Perhaps because I'm from Nebraska and the damn humidity index is rediculous. Anywhoo, I'd rather snuggle in a 'blanky' than lay in my bed naked and sweaty. You've got an image in your head now, don't you?

4. Don't you hate it when you burp after drinking pop (soda to you weirdos) and your mouth is closed so it blows out your nose and it burns like Hell? Don'tcha?
Yeah, with that degree of burning you'd think it was acid going through your nose.

5. What is your favorite prepared dish?
Fried green peppers. Does that count? They're reeeaally gooood. Get in my belly!
Okay, okay...I'm done.

the rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My top 5 songs

I'm so sorry Anamika, I didn't even realize that you tagged me like 9 days ago. It's alittle late, but here it is:

List five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog. Then tag five people to see what they're listening to.

1. Past The Mission by Tori Amos and featuring Trent Reznor (NIN).
I just recently discovered this song and it really caught me off guard. Listen to it from beginning to end, and it sounds like you're listening to 2 different songs intertwined.

2.Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie.
I just bought DCfC's Transatlanticism on iTunes. Good song, makes me want to tap my foot obsessively.

3. The whole damn Garden State Soundtrack!
I'm sorry but it's too hard to choose just one song from this album. I seriously have had it in my CD player for about 6 monthes. I guess if I had to choose just one...it would be Such Great Heights by Iron & Wine. I also enjoy this song by The Postal Service. Very different versions though.

4.Breathe Me by Sia
Anyone that watched the series finale of Six Feet Under should remember this song. They played this as Claire is on the road to New York City and the Fischer family's fate is laid out for everyone to see. I cried soo hard during that episode. This song and the last 10 minutes of the finale are to blame for so much snot coming out of my nose. Good times, good times.

5.Only by Nine Inch Nails
I really love this song. It starts kind of up beat, but gets heavy half way through. In case I didn't mention it already, I'm crazy for Trent Reznor. He's weird and I love it! Overall, I'd say With Teeth is a pretty good album, very much worth buying!

I want these people to do this list:

1. Lydia
2. Steph
3. Jen O.
4. Sunny
5. Chris

good luck!

I got tagged...

Okay, so I got tagged. I'm not sure what the protocal is, but it's my first one, so what the hell...

7 things I plan to do before I die
1. Become a size 6
2. Get married
3. Become Donald Trumps 4th wife. (bite your tongue, bite it!)
4. Travel to Figi...it's clique but what the hell..
5. Have children
6. Join a club (besides a fitness club)
7. Bitch slap someone

7 things I can do
1. Make elephant sounds
2. I can crack all 10 knuckles and all 10 toes, and a fascinating number of other joints
3. Speak with a british accent
4. I can take the same tone of voice as my mother when 'royaly' pissed off
5. Cook an excellant meal
6. make eggs 'sunny side up' without breaking the yolk.
7. Be a good friend

7 things I cannot do
1. Run
2. Rap like Jay z
3. hold my liquor
4. grow my damn nails out without having one break...then it just doesn't look even!
5. Write in a straight line
6. Train my dog to be a 'good' dog
7. Promise that I'll never listen to Celine Dion when I'm in one of my 'moods'

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Sense of humor
2. Hands
3. Good personality
4. Taller than me...not hard to do, I'm only 5'8"
5. Not a metrosexual...I'm not freakishly beautiful, so I don't want the fucking competition.
6. Level of nerdiness...I'm a 45, he must be above that!
7. Doesn't make daily goals of how many hours can one play video games...

7 things that I say most often
1. What the hell
2. You sonofabitch!
3. It's not that easy guys
4. You know what I mean?
5. Good luck show boy.
6. Damn
7. Whatever

7 celebrity crushes
1. Bill Gates come on! You can't deny the hottness...
2. John Cusack
3. Trent Reznor
4. Dave Grohl
5. All 4 members of Coldplay
6. Ryan Dunn
7. Vince Vaughn

7 people I want to do this
1.Lydia
2.Steph
3.Danius Maximus
4.austinizer
5.Sunny
6.Anamika
7.gwidgybo

My word, that took awhile...i know these are supposed to be fun, but....

Dear Garage Sale Goers

To those of you who are avid bargain shopper predators who choose to make garage sales your prey, suck my big toe.

I spent the better part of Friday and Saturday committing myself to a garage sale in hopes of getting rid of a few things that we could no longer fit in our home as well as making some money. Friday I spent going through my old clothes and other things that had out-dated themselves in my life. By 10 pm Friday night, I was ironing my old clothes so that they 'look presentable' because apparently the majority of you freaks commit your weekends to these sales and refuse to buy a shirt because it has a few wrinkles on it.

My next issue with you guys is the haggling. Now, I'm all for a little compromising, and prepared to knock the price off of everything. But damn, I might as well just gift wrap it and personally deliver it to your home. Have you no shame? $.50 for a brand new, never worn Gap shirt? COME ON! And to the woman that got into a heated arguement with me over an almost new-perfectly good working watch because I refused to sell it to her for $.25; BACK OFF!, I'm not in shape but I'm packin' a whole lotta man-power in these hips, and I will knock you into next week BITCH!

I love children, I want them and plan to have some of my own in the future. I was thinking 3; 2 girls and 1 boy...But in the name of reality television, DON'T BRING THE FUCKERS TO GARAGE SALES! And when you do, and they break something...be prepared to pay for it..without a tone in your voice. It's not my fault your offspring are savage beasts.

I ended up making $75 and having nearly half of my stuff left over...looks like the Goodwill will be getting a mighty fine donation this week.

Google is my savior

You want to know what is really sad? I rely on Google. I use it as my main search engine, but it means so much more to me than that. I really do have a problem. I've gotten into the habit of googling any questions I might have in hopes of finding an answer, then when found, I assume even the most rediculous and unreasonable answers are the truth only because I googled it and well...google is always right.

Case and Point, earlier this summer I got a really bad sun-burn that I decided aloe vera gel was just not going to cut it. Googled the situation and found tons of 'cures' for sun burns. I found remedies such as the normal aloe vera, apple cidar vinegar...then I found some new ones...milk, butter, mayo, pretty much any type of vinegar...and a really strange one; bread. Unfortunately I didn't take into consideration that most of those were not recommended by a doctor, or specialist,but just some nobody.

(I ended up just using apple cidar vinegar only because smothering mayo all over my body just isn't my cup of tea... and butter is really expensive).

And since when did google become an official verb in the dictionary?

From Dictionary.com :

Main Entry: google1
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: to search for information about a specific person through the Google search engine
Example: She googled her high school boyfriends.
Etymology: trademark Google
Usage: googling n

I remember way back when, when I was a fan of the Lycos search engine. I think the whole Scottish themed commercial was what did it for me. But once I hit high school, it was like totally cooler to do google, and well I do just about anything to be in the 'in-crowd'.

Careful, I recken them Google masterminds are tryin' to brainwash us...They're gonna take over the world..

Gay? Not Gay?

Okay so in regards to my dog being a flamming homo...we talked about it (over coffee, of course), and he says it's because the dog was loud, had a gimp leg, and she had 2 different colored eyes. And when it comes right down to it...I don't like men with gimp legs either...sure as hell don't want to hump them. And I'm torn on the multiple colored eyes. If Oscar's anything like me he already has a hard enough time concentrating on the eye area during conversation...and that's with 2 eyes...same color.

My eyes wonder during conversation...I'll be listening to someone talk to me, and my eyes will go from their eyes, to their forehead, then nose, then mouth, then ears...ect. I'm currently taking medication in hopes of rectifying the problem...but the prognosis isn't very promising.

Back to the sexual preference issue with my DOG. Who gives a poop in a half what he likes. Hell, I've seen him look at the squirrels in an odd way.
Plus he did say to me...in the words of Jack McFarland "I took an oath in front of God and my mother...I'm here, I'm queer...get used to it".

Note: Anyone that is offended by any comments I have made in this post should just deal with it because it's my blog. But really, I love EVERYONE. So cheer up mates!

So tired, so very very tired

I moved heavy boxes up and down stairs..ALL DAY LONG. My legs are burning like a fucking bond fire and I'm so tired I can barely form full sentences. Of course I didn't have the heart to make my poor old mother lug the heavy boxes filled with her cookbooks...took 11 boxes to transport those little suckers. It's times like these when I wish that I was a real bitch.

My little fucker of a dog met another Lhasa Apso today...a female Lhasa Apso...and I think it confirmed our suspision...Oscar is gay. He doesn't like the female doggies. Think about it, he likes his doggy clothes way too much for his own good and he humps men.

I'm too tired to go on with this usless banter.

Buh bye.

Gmail

Is it just me or is the whole Gmail invite a harsh reminder of being a dork in elementary school?.. I've been wanting an account, and when I heard that it was finally up and running, I was informed that you must be invited to have an account. Oh really? Well to the numb-nut that decided that, I've got a special invitation for you to... SUCK MY DAD'S NUT!!

It's like in 5th grade where the cool kids were gonna play Red Rover Red Rover...and they decided who played...do you think I even once played Red Rover? Hell no!

Oh well, I got an invitation..hehehe.. y'all can contact me at chaellyboo@gmail.com ...rolls right off the tongue doesn't it?

Yummm..Miami Ink.

Never in my life have I been so turned on by men with tattoos.

Nice dreams will come my way tonight!

What's that smell?...Get back here you little shit.

I just woke up to the smell of shit dipped in rotten fish guts...My yeddi-of a dog was licking my face...And, NO I don't know how long he was doing it, in regards to my moms question on the phone when I told her. But that really doesn't seem to be of any relevance right now.

The extreme shock of it all must have been because I was caught off-guard. Normally it doesn't really bother me if my dog gives me a little suga' when he's in my lap, but I'm expecting it. I prepare by scrunching up my face in disgust and in hopes of sealing off all major portals on my face. Even after I washed it off, he easily could have gotten that tongue up my nose, in my ear, or even in the mouth! Blluugghh.

That little man whore has no sham I tell you, NONE!

I'm off to take a hot shower.

do a little 'suckling' today, it'll be good for ya.

Michaela

Where are you funny people?

Anyone with a funny blog please let me know! I've only found like 3 funny ones.

Come out, come out wherever THE FUCK you are...lalala de dadada

Donate to the 'Get Me A Better Car' Fund

Oh isn't she a beauty...No, no she's not, she's a piece of shit! Actually, shit doesn't begin to describe the hell on greasy wheels my car has turned into.

I have horrible luck with cars...My sister seems to think I'm just ungrateful b/c the 2 cars I've had, were technically given to me by relatives. Meaning that I didn't have to buy my car..(like she did). Ya want to know why I practically got the cars for free?Because they suck fat ass!

My first car that I got from my rich (but very cheap and mean) bastard of an uncle...uncle B. He sold me a 1983 Chrysler LeBaron for $500. The car belonged to a dead client of his. Figures, that he would try and make a buck off his clients even after death and his niece...It was brown exterior with orange leather interior and had 72,000 miles. As an immature kid who at the time worked at A&W (colors..brown/orange) I thought I was the grand poo pa.

Now for a while the car was great, it had a computerized system in it, which apparently in the early 80's was a break-through in technology. Oh and by 'computerized system' I mean it would greet me when I opened the car door, it told me to buckle up when I turned the car on, and reminded me that the keys were still in the ignition after I turned the car off....all in a cheap robotical voice. Drunk people thought it was a trip.
I had the car through that summer, and when cold weather hit, it died, and would not come back to life...retract that, it would come back for a mere $2200...I kept my money, paid my respects, and moved on.

Then I borrowed my sisters car for a few monthes while she was away at college. Thanks Lydia! Then last year my grandma gave me her 1986 Mercury Lynx as a gift and as a way to help us out, since Lydia needed her car back. It was in great shape. No rust, only 50,000 miles on it, fairly clean under the hood...

It all seemed like destiny. It's total shit now! I just put (rather, my mom put) $400 into it and it didn't do a fucking thing! When in reverse and pressing on the break, it makes this God awful clunking sound, as if little yard gnomes are under there making horrid music. It constantly dies, and the little bitch insists on dying in rush hour traffic.

When in doubt...just sell it on eBay...that's what they say now-a-days, right?

Project of the day: Count the number of birth marks on your body.

Green Apple

My mom recently made an awful dish soap purchase at Sam's Club. She got Green Apple scented dish soap. What the FUCK? It's one thing to make candy and drinks 'green apple' flavor...but scented? What purpose does that serve except while scrubbing crusted shit-like nastiness off pots and pans to be slapped in the face with a sour/weed stench. Or maybe it is actually flavored and some numb-nut executive at the soap place thought that with all the small children getting into household cleaners it was about time to at least have the hazardous products taste good. Nobody likes the taste of flowers or cleanliness in their mouths... New advertisement...'Green Apple dishsoap, cuts through the strongest grease but now tastes like a refreshing jolly rancher".
And we've seriously got an 15 lb bottle of it. So it's sticking around for a while.

Make a mental note

Ladies and gentlemen...it's official. The dog likes Wheat Thins. He is 2 thumbs away from being a real live boy.

The History Behind Chaellyboo...

Some may have noticed that chaellyboo is the link to this site. What is chaellyboo? Is it vulgar french slang? I hope not. Is it the name of my third boob? no, but if I had a third, I might name it that. Well first off I should say that my mom is just a little (but still note-worthy) crazy. Chaellyboo was one of the many nicknames that she gave me in hopes of one day securing myself a comfy chez lounge in a therapists' office.

My name is Michaela and often as a young chicklet I was dubbed Chaelly. Somewhere along the way my mom added the boo. And so it became official, everyone called me Chaellyboo. It was between chaellyboo or http://www.poop-a-rina.blogspot.com . Be thankful!

Not all that interesting, but I thought you may like to know for later purposes.

Bite me, always,
Michaela

Toilet paper & such...

Good movie...I should have figured I'd be wooed. I love John Cusack. He's so cute. I love that he just seems so cool. His snot is probably cool. I'd probably go see any movie with him in it even if it were...bad..I'm sorry, I'm tired that's the best I could come up with. LEAVE ME ALONE!

My sister has just informed me that I should mention the fact that we are going to be leaving soon for a 'midnight toilet paper run'. Because oh my sweet momma joe we're out of TP. My sister is afraid that my mom will have a meltdown tomorrow morning if on the off hand chance, she has to use the potty hole and is forced to use kleenex.

The Walmart community is gonna get a few laughs out of me tonight. I'm so gonna leave with a cart full of toilet paper.

Sweet toilet paper dreams

Must Love Dogs / Buying in Bulk

I'm going to see Must Love Dogs tonight and am questioning if it will be a waste of money. I'm cheap. I cut corners wherever possible. I'll risk my safety if it means I can get a good deal. Case and point? Movies are so fucking expensive now-a-days..$8.00 bucks for 1 movie...I normally don't go to movies, I just wait until someone I know buys or rents it on video then force them to let me borrow it. I'm only going tonight b.c. I haven't seen my friend Lindsay (HI LINDSAY!) in way too long. My sources are telling me that its pretty good. That's right people, I have sources.

I figure the reason I'm so cheap is a deep phsycological problem that has something to do with the fact that my mom only buys in bulk. She's been doing it since I was like 6. And she doesn't just buy a few things in bulk, it's everything. From frozen chicken in a 20 lb bag, to soy sauce in a tin gas can, to the 'family pack' of deodorant. We may not need 72 boxes of tampons, but hell in the long run it's probably a better deal and makes for great conversation with house guests. My mom: 'welcome to the house, toilet paper, feminine products and tissues are in the shed out back...help yourself".

What am I talking about, we never have house guests...

Say Nope to Dope

Our maintenance man stopped by today...if you don't know my maintenance man, look back at one of my first posts on this blog for the story on why he is a stupid stupid man. Well he stained our front door today, and me and my family are going to discover what it's like to all eat dinner together while high on fumes. With our luck it'll be the most pleasent dinner to date.

Insomnia Help

It's 5am in the Mornin' and I can't fucking sleep. (wow do I sound midwestern) I was awoken by my mother who has already left for the ol' job. Listen to me I sound like a hillbilly with no front teeth. I could never have a job that expected me to arrive by anytime earlier than 8...8:30am.

It's like the chicken pox. You get them once and then never again. Same goes for my inability to wake up for a job or school at 5 or 6am in the morning. My senior year of high school I worked the deli at a gas station from 4:45am - 7:30am then went to school.

After that experience I concluded that working before 8am is pointless, and there is no need in the world for it. I dub "Don't Condemn Work Before 8am!!!" for my protest sign.

These things are all reasons why I will probably end up on unemployment at some point in my life. Knock on wood.

Polo Shirt Freak

My dog is frantically chasing his rubber turkey leg toy making Chubaka like noises....all while wearing a red/white striped polo shirt.
Beat that....nut cases!

My arms numb, arm numb, narm numb, Naarrrmm

That was just great. NARM

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12-Step program for 'The Itch'?

Disclaimer: This is NOT, I repeat this is NOT about any disgusting diseases or anything worth not reading my blog any further in fear that you may either vomit or worse catch the non-existant disease.
Enjoy~

Over this past weekend, we had a very beautiful day here in Nebraska. It wasn't too hot, the sky was clear and there was an enjoyable cool breeze. So we did the only logical thing and turned off the air and opened the windows (mind you we have screens over our windows).

Well in several windows, the screening has holes from reasons that wouldn't surprise me because our house is a big fat piece of rented shit. Everything was just lovely that day because of the weather...so lovely that I sat down and read a book Lovely Bones (really good book!) the whole thing that day. Well I didn't finish it until like midnight, but whatever.

So I laid on my bed and read it, well come night time, I kept getting bitten by a mosquito in my own fucking room. Those little blood-sucking-disease-causing creatures must have been coming through a secret portal because I shut my window and brutally killed several with my bare hand. I ended up with 7 bites on one arm and 2 on my leg.

Then came the itching...and oh my God it was bad. You would have thought I was dying from a nasty case of gangrene...because I'm soo familiar with gangrene.... I couldn't stop itching...itch itch itch...itch!

After considering all my options....putting myself out of my misery...no too drastic for a few bites. Maybe masking the itch with pain, such as; paper cuts inbetween each toe, bamboo strips under the finger nails, or the ever so popular stabing of the eye with a spoon!

On my way to the kitchen for a spoon, I vagly remember someone telling me something about nail polish and mosquito bites. Not that I was paying much attention at the time, but enough to remember it when in a predicament of my own. So I thought I'd try it since the bathroom was on the way to the kitchen. I open the medicine cabinet to find a bottle of liquid bandage. This sparked my interest. I figured it would serve the same purpose of the nail polish, so I went for it. I lathered it on each bite and let it dry...just waiting to be let down. Oh but to the contrary, no more itching!

Ladies and gentlemen, insert a good night sleep *here*.

A lesson well learned...

I constantly find myself fixated to the show Animal Cops on the Animal Planet. It really does break my heart to see animals have to suffer with some of the shit humans put them through. Although, I do find it to be an opportunity to teach my dog the many reasons why it pays to behave.

I know they say that dogs can't understand objects on the television, but I've caught Oscar staring down the ass of the big white female poodles on the Eukenuba dog show...oh yeah, he knows what he's seeing. So I know that he can see the dogs on the cop show. I always tell him that 'he could have ended up with that crack whore with the 200 cats and 30 toy dogs living in their own fecies...but no, he got lucky and ended up with the one lady that if left with the option, would easily let her daughter starve over him...lucky little bastard...be grateful...

I guess I can't get to pissed at some of the shit he pulls. When he was about a year old, and he phased out of the it-doesn't-matter-what-you-do-cuz-you're-still-so-cute stage I found it humorous to tease him. Don't send me hate mail, because I don't really do it anymore, but either way he thinks of it all as a game.

Today I bought my mom a car window sticker that says "I *heart* My Lhasa Apso" and in the middle is the profile of a lhasa apso. So now, just in case my mom wasn't clear enough with everyone about how much she loves Oscar , she let every damn passing vehicle know it too. It's like the overly proud soccer mom that had the white soccer ball sticker on the driver (left) rear end window. For the kids that weren't athletic, you hated those moms, but you were secretly jealous...because the only symbol of pride your mother could paste on to her pontiac sedan was a 'couch' or a 'bowl of popcorn'. I really hope that wasn't just me, because if so, then I take it all back.

I love you Oscar

Building a fort is really tempting right now...

My living room is officially in boxes. The way the boxes are strategically placed, makes me want to run around like a 5 year old off it's ADHD medication! We're supposedly taking possession of the house on the 12th, which means I need to haul some ass...big time.

I'm eating carrots right now, and I'm trying to imagine myself eating a bowl of ice cream...It's not going over very well.