Saturday, October 01, 2011

Educated Guesses

Sherry: Do you think she's a vegan?
Me: Why would you say that?
Sherry: Because she's skinny and she drives a Prius....
God I LOVE stereotyping!!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Oh and FYI

If it weren't already crystal clear....

she's blonde.

Yeah, I know, right!

Close but still too far

My coworker on her newly panty hose covered legs, "Look, I have Twilight know cuz they look like vampire skin..."

Me, "Try more like Golden Girls legs."

Thursday, September 29, 2011

To my lovely coworker...

"You really need to tone down the perfume...the backroom is really starting to smell like Whore."

Why a Safe Word is an excellant idea

How about Bandmaster....

CITY, Iowa -- An Iowa City woman has been charged with misdemeanor domestic abuse, accused of hitting her boyfriend because he wouldn't have sex with her.
Police were sent to the house late Monday night after a report about a female out of control.
Her boyfriend told officers that Melissa Minarsich had struck him a few times and ripped a storm door off the house.
He said she became enraged when he refused to have sex.
Police said Minarsich told officers that her boyfriend's account was accurate.
Officers report that Minarsich's speech was slurred and she smelled of alcohol.
A public phone listing for Minarsich could not be found. Online court records don't list the name of her attorney.

Read more:

Wednesday, December 29, 2010


Homeless looking man with a briefcase picking through half smoked cigarette butts from the public ashtray outside my's like a kid in a candy store.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

prickly blessings

I'm officially unwillingly growing a go-tee on my chin...yet another wonderful detail of pregnancy.

No title needed

So I come and go here as I please apparently....Gonna try and get back to my blogging roots.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Did that just happen?

Okay, so again I went absent for months with not a shred of decency to stop by and see that people ACTUALLY started reading my inane banter. And yes, actual real people not robots of the dark internet blog world, actual people.

I think I just felt a swift kick in the ass to make this little thing my baby again....

Soo where am I?

Well I fell of the weightloss wagon over the holidays and put on about 20 lbs which put me at around 280 lbs...ermm okay more like 286 but I like to round down! So feeling like shit I finally stepped it into gear about 3 months ago and I'm sitting at 255 lbs as of this morning. Which is a grand total of 106 pounds since January of 2009. Watch out people cuz this is only the beginning, I have alot more to lose and I plan on bitching about sore muscles and gross old people I see at the gym!

Aside from weightloss I am also a culinary student at Metro Community College's Institute for the Culinary Arts here in Omaha, NE. I know, I know....fat girl going to school for food? Are yer CRAZY? Probably but I love to cook and I love to let my creativity and passion flow through food.

This semester marks the beginning of the actual culinary courses which is uber exciting for me! In my Orientation course we have to create a blog and use it as a portal for homework assignments, so this blog will be moonlighting as a sassy culinary review blog. I have to review a book, a few restaurants, document through pictures and instructional blogging a meal that I cook at home, so it should be interesting.

I don't like to get cheesy, but at one point this blog was theraputic for me, it helped me get my feelings out at a really difficult, dark time in my life and somewhere along the way it healed some old wounds and then I nonchalantly pushed it aside for quite sometime. Still, I've never been able to delete it, its a safety blanket in alot of ways for me. Plus I can make fun of stupid people whenever I want!

So, I'm gonna give it another go, and see what pointless verbal diarrhea I can come up with.