MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve and Day. Have fun and be safe! Open lots of gifts, eat lots of food, and spend time with loved ones! (Hopefully Santa brought you all what you wanted...)

I still have a gift for you guys, and I really hope I can post it by Christmas, but I kind of get the feeling that many of you won't post again until after Sunday, so You may just get it late anyways. I took a really crappy picture of it with my camera, but to the shittiness of its quality, I'd rather give it out late so that it looks 150% better.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! LOVE YOU ALL!!

Merry Christmas, Maybe...

Okay so I have a gift to the people I blog daily with, I'm just having issues with trying to get it onto my computer. My camera is a piece of shit that won't pick up the right lighting, yet I don't have an available scanner which would make my life 300% better.


I'll figure out something as I wouldn't want santa to show up to your blog late....hehehe

Aftermath

2 days later and I'm still in shock. I'm fine, nothing but a bump on the head...maybe a bit more emotionally but such is life I guess. I don't mean for this to come off wrong, but please say a prayer or cross your fingers for me that they don't come after me with injuries that will jack my insurance up any higher than it already is! My mom and I already have enough bills to pay, so raised car insurance will really ruin the holiday spirit in this house... I'm pretty lucky in that I hit an Isuzu Rodeo that had the spare tire on the back of it, and that's what did so much damage to my car, but from the naked eye, I could NOT find one inch of damage on her car. The only thing I could think of is under the tire cover...Blah!

Thanks you guys for your concern, it means the world to me!

Loves!

BAM

Car accident. Mercury Lynx. front end smooshed. police. ticket. bruise on head. bruise on my driving ego.

HO HO ARGGHH!

I hate HTML! It WILL be the death of me! I need some questions answered. If you have the answer to any of them, please be a sweet dear and lend me a helping comment. I'm too tired to offer sexual advances...BUT, I can give you a rousing rendition of M.J.'s "Thriller"! I know, I know, I'm too generous, but it's just in my nature!

Questions:

1. How do I get the names on my list of blogs off to the right not to break into 2 lines? I just want one long link name.

ex. If I wanted to put "Fritz is the shittzle", how would I code it in my template so that it doesn't come out looking like this:

Fritz is

the shittzle

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2. How do I go about putting in my own title banner? It's too empty up top and I want to put something up there, BUT HOW?

Those are the only 2 I can think of for now.

THANKS PEEPS!

Random Thoughts For Your Sunday Morning

-John A. Gentleman's is a mortuary service here in Omaha...a few years ago they bought a semi-new building in West Omaha to have as their second location. Key word is 'semi-new'...Prior to the mortuary the building was home to an upscale restaurant names "Sydney's". They had the best pasta dish called "Piedmont Portabello"...I really hope that building doesn't turn into the home of a future restaurant anytime soon...cuz that would be yucky!

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-I hate people that use the head phone method as their cell phone. Do you think they realize that onlookers just think they're crazy because

they're talking to themselves?

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-Trial and error just doesn't work for some people. I slammed my finger in the damn register a world record breaking 4 times tonight! And worse, not once did I see it commin'! OUCH!

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-To the 49 customers that jokingly pointed this out yesterday...Windshield washer fluid is not gatorade, people...I know it looks thirst quenching, but I guarentee you, it will not 'fill you up'.

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-One of these days I'm gonna stop making small talk with these fools...I'll just let them think of it as gatorade. So when a small child hears them they snatch one and chug it like beer (beer that's goin' out of style..) let my statement be heard now that I had no part in it!

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-It scares me when cops refer to pulling over intoxicated drivers as "hunting for some drunks".

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-For the last time Oscar, dirt is not a treat to be eaten!

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I don't think there's anymore random thoughts in my head for now....boooo!

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I'll be back later!

Reload

Okay, I got the camera action out of me...for now. My somewhat estranged father lent it to me, but I shall give it back to him as I am a good person and would not hold a camera hostage until he pony's up all the things from the past that he owes me and my family...Plus the batteries are about dead, and I don't want to buy new ones. (hehehe) It was a piece of shit camera anyway...if I can be quite so honest with you all. When a camera costs you only 69.95, aim very very low on your expectations, otherwise you WILL be disappointed.

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I am quite baffled and shocked at the mysterious bug that is plaguing many of my fellow bloggers. I know, I know, alot of it is because of the holidays around the corner and not everyone is such a profound loser as I am and actually have a life that needs to be tended to. Go to it with the holiday stuff, I'm actually very jealous because we're not doing very much this year, so I'm pretty calm and collected at this point. I am going to make cookies for work next week, so that should get me into the holiday mood...assuming postage is not jaw-droppingly high, I am willing to send a couple yummy cookies your way if you let me know.

Though something seems to be getting to so people I cherish. To those of you going thru rough times, I say this to you:

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You guys keep me sane, getting the crap out of my brain and onto this blog only solves half of the problem. The other half is having what few amazing bloggers that visit this site give me the true advice, support and criticism that I so desperately need. Please don't leave me all to my lonesome!

WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?

WHY?

Now is this the face of a happy camper? I DIDN'T THINK SO! If for nothing else, stay so that I never have to make this face again.

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Photo Wednesday

Hello, and welcome to Wednesday night. I don't feel like talking so I thought I'd let the pictures I took with my borrowed camera speak to you instead.

I'll be back tomorrow with Random Thoughts and other rather interesting highlights. In the words of BOBI and everyone else that says it...Huggles!

Okay, so the last couple of days here in Nebraska have been sooooooo cold, that the snot in my nasal cavities are frozen! The picture to the left is the street outside of my house and the other is a picture of The Old Market in downtown Omaha.

To the left we have me enjoying the flame and to the right we have Mrs. Seriousness striking a pose...what a bitch she is indeed!

Sokol Auditorium and a misc. picture.

Night!

Thank You

Thanks for your kind words of advice from my last post. I'm feeling alot better, and am doing what is best for myself. I'll post about it later as I'm in a happy mood, and I don't want to dampen the moment!

I present to you, straight from 45 minutes of doing nothing....ME!

Isn't this a lovely one to start off with?

That's a nice one. CHEESE!

Sideways with a nice shot of our...ab do'er as make shift furniture...again, classy is my middle name!

Below: Yes, I'm nibbling on my turtleneck...sexy isn't it?

Me giving a horrible 'sexy' look!

This is the crazy beast that has my mom wrapped around his tiny paw...Don't be fooled by the cuteness...he's brutal!

Be Still.

Well today has been a day of sorts. I'm not even quite sure where to begin or if I even want to begin. Perhaps since I can't really participate in Half Nekkid Thursday I'll bare a different kind of skin.

I used to pride myself on the fact that I knew my troubled father better than anyone else...even himself. I guess you could have called me a daddy's girl back in the day. There are many facets to my dad..so many that I just can't type it all out. But to put it lightly, he's irresponsible and lazy. He is morbidly obese and has been so for many years. I have repeatedly tried to help him in his weight-loss efforts, but always failed. I've been there for him through thick and thin because that is what our relationship has always been. I've been there for him financially (many times), I've nursed him back to stable health during bad health conditions (I've seen more infectious disease on one body than I've ever wanted to), and most importantly I've been there for him emotionally and for moral support. Why would I do all of that for a grown man that should be able to fend for himself? I ask myself that very question every day and I come up with the same answer...because he's my dad and if he can't take care of himself than someone must, and that's me because I love him.

My father is very ignorant when it comes to his health. His max weight has been 500 lbs. He has to walk with a cane becuase the weight has caused a severe curvature in his spine and also a hairline fracture which result in him being hunched foreward. He is 51 years old and can't sleep at night because of the pain in his joints (specifically his hips). He won't admit to the fact that it is a result of his weight. He is a very stubborn man. He has been in the hospital for all of the following; blood poisoning, deep muscle staff infections in his leg, bleeding ulcer, heart murmer, sleep apnia...

Up until today I have not talked to my dad in almost 6 months. A rift tore our relationship apart and for a long time I didn't think it could ever be repaired. I was angry for that whole 6 months. I was angry because I could bare my soul to my father and did and it didn't get through to him that he needs to change his lifestyle. Change the lifestyle that will kill him. I was angry because I was tired of being the parent in our relationship and desperately wanted to act like a child for once. I was angry that I couldn't hate him because as stubborn as he is, I love him more than life itself.

Today my dad called me, and he couldn't say my name without breaking down into sobs. He told me that he is sick. He can't walk very much anymore. So bad that he can barely get in and out of his car. Whe he goes to the gym they have to bring him in with a wheelchair. The doctors think its some form of muscular dystrophy; a neuromuscular disorder that takes over your body. They haven't pin pointed exactly what it is, but they're fairly certain of it.

My dad is scared. He's scared that after 25 years of being morbidly obese that his chance to get his health in order has passed him by. For the first time he sees his health in the same light that I see it and everyone else that loves him, the light that sees death right around the corner. I'm scared for him..... and for myself. Is that selfish?

He wants our relationship back. He wants the one person that can see through his many tricks and lies back in his life to help him try to get healthy. He wants me to offer the one thing he lacks...will-power. A part of me is angry, angry at what he did that caused the rift, but another chunk of me can't turn down his plea for help. What if my cold shoulder is what kills him? What if I become his crutch once again and he still fails? What does that say?

Before our rift my biggest fear was losing him. Today my fear is that I'll lose him to anything and not have him know how much I love him or that despite any differences we have I'm still daddy's little girl at heart.

I know I'm over-reacting, but it's all I know how to do.

Random Thoughts

-Why do weathermen always forecast snow during the P.M. drive home?

-I once worked with a lady that believed that any time a big red truck drove by it was the local news man; Jon Knicely coming to pick her up and pimp her out to the children and Methodis Childrens Hospital. Is it wrong that everytime I see him relaying the top news stories of the day, I am gently reminded of him bogusly pimping out Rosita at the children's hospital?

-Anytime you have the words 'pimp', 'children', and 'hospital' in a single sentence...you know it can't be good!

-Prank calls serve an important purpose. They help get people's heads out of their own asses!

-Drinking wine out of a purple plastic cup (which has a duplicate that we use to gargle water after cleaning the teeth) is not very classy.

-I think I have ESP...its really spooky. I was wondering yesterday when Jack White (white strips) and his strange looking wife were going to give birth to their child. It turns out that today was the announcement that they were pregnant.

-I think I want to be a nurse. I always wanted to go to med school, but I constantly doubt myself. Nursing seems like a path worth taking. It just so happens that Wonder Woman is going into the same career. GO YOU WW!!

Nighty night night!

Let It Snow, Oh Let It Snow Dammit

Well I guess I should have seen it coming, we're due to get a few inches of the big white blanket. Right now they're saying that eastern Nebraska is lucky because to the north and west they got "pounded with a monster blizzard", (their words, not mine). I must still be a young school child at heart because when they forecast snow, in my heart I wish for 30 inches so that they'll call off school. Unfortunately unlike school a snow storm will not get me out of having to go to work (and not even if I wear my pj's inside out and backwards) at 5am tomorrow morning. My mom is about to have a nervous breakdown just thinking about me driving in bad weather tomorrow morning.

I just thought I'd let ya know what's "going on in my neck of the woods" (again, their words, not mine). I will now got sleepy sleepy.

NIGHT!!

Give Thanks By Getting Fat

I hope all my wonderous and corky blogger friendlies had a great Thanksgiving! I enjoyed it very much so. I worked from 7am-3pm in which I got paid time and a half , which is always lovely no matter what way you slice it. Got home and was greated by the sweet smell of sweet potato casserole and turkey in the oven. We didn't eat until like 9pm which is really late for us, but I killed time by downing 3 Heineken's...took a little pre-turkey snooze and was then awokened to a table full of special foods to help us give thanks.

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In exchange for giving thanks, I had to bench my diet for the holiday and eat like it was going out of style. To be quite honest, I didn't even eat half a plate full, it's just that it's all so rich and creamy....*insert watering tongue here*. And the only thing worse than going off your diet for one day of pure food madness is to go pant shopping the day after! I don't recommend this to anyone! It WILL cause serious depression and bad thoughts if you do! I went to Old Navy yesterday and found the most awesome deal on pants...$12.65 each...that's right, any pair of pants, only $12.65 each! No limitations, No gimicks. just down right whorishly cheap pants! I bought 4 pairs and only spent $50. The only depressing thing is that my size pants feel noticably tighter today then they did on Wed...I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin...

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People that I blog with on a daily basis, (you know who you are), I would love it if you could email me an address that I could send a Christmas card (and/or possibly more if you've been a good little blogger this year...;) ). It's totally optional, I'd just like to wish you all good times this holiday season. Just something to think about.

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Random Thoughts...Thanksgiving Style:

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-The red temperature gadge that comes in the breast of the turkey is not born with it stuck in him/her....at least I don't think!?!?

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-When you offer your mother help in the kitchen and she turns you down, never actually take this as confirmation to do nothing, always be ready to peel, wash, stir, cut, or baste something...It has taken me 19 years to figure this out.

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-Don't eat turkey after 7pm when you have to wake up at 4am the next morning...Tryptophan will knock you on your ass for at least 8 hours.

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- Turkey and it's Tryptophan seem to have a reverse effect on Lhasa Apso's...just my friggin luck!

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-Heineken is goooooood.

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-When you work an 8 hour shift on Thanksgiving and are forced to greet all 300 some customers, you WILL get your tongue tied after the first 50 and greet them with "Thappy Hanksgiving".

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-People look at you like you're mentally absent when you wish them a 'Thappy Hanksgiving' ...

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-What the hell is so wrong with wanting to serve dessert first on Thanksgiving? By the time Pie Time rolls around, I'm too full! You don't understand people, a girl needs pie!!

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-According to my Uncle Bill, you must Answer the phone with a 'Happy Thanksgiving' no matter who is calling... Then can I still tell telemarketers and creditors to burn in the flames of hell after I wish them a Happy Thanksgiving?

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-My mom makes the worlds best Pumpkin Pie...but don't ask about the Rudabega...damn that rudabega, just damn it!!!

Cheers to Sweet Rowan In Good Ole' Canada

Rowan recently left a comment on one of my posts that made me realize that I should probably very briefly explain to those of you that so kindly read this blog what exactly I'm all about. Bear with me!

I'm a 19 year old female from Nebraska. I technically attend University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO), but this past semester I took a brief hiatus from UNO and signed up at the community college to knock out some of the Gen. Ed. courses. It has come to my attention that it was one of the dumbest things I ever chose to do. I had my reasons, some of which I won't bore you with, but one of the large ones was that I got really depressed last year (I've talked all about it in this previous post) and though I feel 149% better, I'm still trying to sort out certain feelings and things that go on inside my head. The depression kind of made me have a panic attack and question my outlook on my future. I started doubting my ability to go ahead with planning for Med School and I came to the conclusion after last year that UNO was too much stress and at the rate I was going with the way I felt, I didn't want to trash my GPA or my experience at UNO by being in such an emotional rut. Because of the way their schedule works, I'm not sure that I'll be able to get in for this coming semester (Winter), but I know that I'll be back for Summer courses, which I'm quite excited about.

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I live with my Suga Momma, but she gets mad when I add the Suga' to the title. She is an amazing lady. She currently manages a gas station in Omaha. We've had our ups and downs as mother and daughter, but at the end of the day I couldn't love, admire, or believe in anyone or anything as much as I do her. We are each others rock (which at times can become shaky) and for that I am so luckyto have her to call Mom. Which is why it is okay to say that my Mom can also be the craziest lady on the planet! Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be around her while on drugs. I'll put that on my list of things to do before I die...

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I have 2 older sisters, one is a department manager at a clothing store and the other who is by far my favorite is a senior at Northwest Missouri State University. In May she will graduate with a degree in Political Science and from there who knows! She's the kind of person that can do whatever she puts her mind to and comes out shining! Not to get all sappy on y'all, but she is the person I strive to be like. I'm so proud of all she's accomplished and I'd be lucky if I could turn out to be half as great as her. (I love you Lydia!)

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Now don't get me wrong, I love my other sister, but she's the apitomy of crazy. It's just better if you keep your distance from her. You know those kind of old crazy ladies that have lots of cats and their house is covered in cat shit, but they keep accumulating more cats because they're crazy and crazy people sure as hell don't keep a respectable number of felines under one roof...My sister is on her way to becoming that. She has taken 2 cats under her wing in the last 6 months and I have a strange tingly feeling that she will be adding to that soon.

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I also have a dog. His name is Oscar (AKA Oscar-Meyer, Oscar-Meyer-Weiner Man, Wittle Man, Boo, The most favored child by my mother...). Oscar is a Lhasa Apso and unfortunately for us we found out AFTER we bought him, that Lhasa Apso's are one of the most stubborn breeds out there.... He is a small furry pain in the ass, that will suck food out of my mothers mouth just for the sake of getting people food. His bargaining weapon when he gets in trouble is peeing on my mothers feather bed. If he eats a pen found on the floor and we try to yell at him for it, he runs into her room, jumps on her bed and teasingly lifts a leg ever so slowly as if to say.."Go ahead, yell at me dumbasses...I dare ya! You must make a choice between the $275 bedding or yelling at me...". Works every damn time! Sometimes I want to kill him but I actually love him to death.

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Oh and I love John Cusack.

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Warm-like-urine Thoughts!

Where is a friggin' camera when you need one?

So I just got home from the dreaded Thanksgiving preparation grocery shop. Spent a whopping $85 on food, but I'm told from many sources that it will be well worth it. And by sources...I do mean the voices in my head that control my hunger. My mom is by far the best cook out there. Her pumpkin pie can and will defeat any competition out there...Be afraid, be very very afraid.

The big topic for conversation (or to some, arguement) this year has been what to make and what NOT to make. You see, several things have occured this year that lead me to believe that it would only make sense that we skip on a few dishes. I could go into details, but my fingers are too tired to type out that novel.

Anyway, more importantly, while we were at the grocery store something amazing happened...I saw a man that looked EXACTLY like Harrison Ford! It was breath-taking! It just figures that I didn't have a camera to capture the moment. Oh well.

I'm out!

Goodnight.

ARRGGHH!

I'm bored. I don't have my class tonight, so I'm at home just jollybloggin'. I'm in the mood to make up new words. Deal.

You know what is just down right annoying? Hearing a new song on the radio, but having not a clue in the world who sings it. Generally this happens when it's a new artist. Case and point? I heard this great new song in the car the other day, and realized that I must have it. It sounded EXACTLY like Maroon 5 (which I don't normally care for). After extraordinary efforts were made to try and find this song online, but nothing. It didn't help that I had no song title to help me out, just the melody in my head. Feeling frustrated and at my wits end after long horrid hours of searching with no luck, I gave in and went to a local CD store. I thought for sure that the musically gifted employees could assist me in my heroic efforts. I get there and provide a young man by the name of Trey with all the following information I had on this song: "1. Sounds like Maroon 5 (but also sounds like a man sucking helium after being kicked in the ball sack), 2. Somewhat slow-going song, I'd get freaky to it...how about you Trey? Me, you, and a man with a bruised nut sack and a balloon?!?!? 3. And I distinctly remember the phrase 'flying high'...and Trey, just between you and me...I don't think he was talking about an aircraft ;)"

I think I may have scared the poop and piss out of Trey. Too much for such a low paying part-time job I bet. I don't blame him, I hate it when the crazies come in looking for 'information'. After all was said and done, he didn't seem to have a clue what the hell I was talking about, so directed my to their wonderful Maroon 5 collection. He said to me "here's our Maroon 5 inventory, sounds like Maroon 5, and is complete with a high pitched ball sack injured sounding singer...Sleezy sexual inuendos, and if you're lucky their may be reference to being cracked out on drugs." *Thinks hard in confusion* "I think that's the first time I've ever used those as selling points".

I didn't buy that CD, but the good news is I heard the song on the radio again shortly after that odd experience and discovered that it is by a new artist named James Blunt. He's an import from somewhere.. Maybe Ireland or England. The song is called "You're Beautiful" good stuff there. I ended up searching on iTunes for it, and found it, but to my surprise I found an even better song by him called "Goodbye My Lover" and oh my Gawd! The tears would not stop! Can you say 'LEAKY FAUCET'??

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

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Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

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I am a dreamer but when I wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

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Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

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And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bare my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

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Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

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Just a few Random Thoughts for the road...

- Orange Tic Tacs DO NOT compensate for a snack! I now realize why they print on packaging "Not a significant source of calories". Doesn't even crave hunger. I speak from very recent experience...

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-Hot sauce really can be put on anything.

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- Scratch that, hot sauce CAN NOT be put on Tic Tacs! blahhgg!

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-Michaela needs to remember that cough drops are NOT candy.

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-Mom does not like it when I refer to cooking utensils as surgical utensils.

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-I too would like to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

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Good night and wishful thinking!

2 Posts Today...YAY

Well for anyone NOT in the midwest region, we're having a very wet/windy snow storm. It sucks BIG TIME! The wind has already topped out at 40 MPH. Well I was at my mom's work trying to help one of her employee's change gas prices outside. There are 4 signs at her location, and they're about 30 ft up in the air. You have to use a big pole like tool to move numbers around... And dawgonnit, we couldn't fucking change the numbers! The sign was icy and the suction part of the tool was wet...making it impossible.

Well while doing this, the local news station pulls up and starts video taping me and Chris laughing and yelling explitives at this sign, I contemplated giving them a friendly finger of sorts, but waved to them instead. Then they left. They just left! Without asking for my name...number...measurements!?!?! Nadda..Nothin' ! I was a bit confused for a short time, because I was under the impression that you must get permission from people before you put them on camera or at least ask them who they're wearing....neither of which they did. Well it turns out they asked my mother... So if all goes as planned, I may be on the local news tonight! AWOOHOO!

Random Facts For Your Tuesday:

-This morning I put the Q-tip in too far...Note to self: Michaela, stop when there is resistance!

-The snow is sticking to inappropriate areas of my dogs body...it is really starting to tick him off!

-My dog was so excited when I came home today that he peed on my foot...Is it bad that only 65% of me thought it was disgusting, while the other 35% thought it was lovely because my shoes and socks were soaking wet and frozen from the snowy/slushy ground and the urine was warm. Thus, causing my foot to instantly warm up?

-After re-reading the above fact, I threw up alittle in my mouth...reassuring me that indeed 100% of me now thinks it was unbelievably disgusting!

-I too wish I could go 1 mile on a Hippity Hop...

-My dear mother will always do 2 things: 1. Take 2 Ginko Biloba vitamin tablets in the morning. 2. Refer to Ginko Biloba as "Ginko Binko"

"Mom, It is not a game on The Price is Right. "

-I think I may be the only person that has no problem blogging on a Sunday night. Cheers to those with no life or values...

Public Service Announcement

Today me and my mother went to Nebraska Furniture Mart (NFM) for a gas stove. We decided that to fit in with our budget better and still get the one we wanted, we'd apply for the instore credit card. This allows you to pay what you want on it, we of course will pay it off as soon as possible, but it's a bit of a comfort to know that we don't have to pay it all at once.

My moms credit is pretty good, well good enough to be able to buy a house (not sure if that says a whole lot). My parents are divorced, and about 10 years ago my dad ruined my moms credit purely on 3 things: laziness and gambling and stupidity. Luckily my mother is a genius with her brilliant street smarts and has done a remarkable job building her credit to where it is today. She was however a blob of nerves and stress while waiting the whole 10 minutes to see if she was approved for a card.

This was the process, and quite strange it was to me. We picked out the stove we wanted and with the help of a tall, burly, raspy-voiced man named Bill who seemed to have a bad case of indegestion...(that or he was constantly yawning with his mouth closed..my money is on the indegestion) we were able to order it and set up a day for delivery. As far as payment options went, we could pay for it all up front, or apply for a NFM credit card and only pay a minimum of $30 a month. Burly bill innocently (though very convincingly) put the fear of God in my mother when he told us that we have to wait 15-20 minutes in a seating area for the results of our credit check. Life changing shit right there people! As if my mother was a dead-beat man waiting on the results of a paternity test...

So we get to the little booth where they input her info and send it to the credit check office...probably like 10 stories below ground level in a heavily guarded room to protect the creditors from angry declined customers. They have us take a seat in this small area and wait for our name and results to be called. The seating area is literally in the middle of the busiest part of the store and my mom is ready to pee her pants in fear of them broadcasting over the intercom that she has been declined for a credit card. The fun I had with her during those terrifying 14 minutes...I'll remember it for weeks..maybe even months.

Conclusion to this story is that she was approved and we ended up with a new gas stove which will be hear between 5pm-9pm on Wednesday..YAY!

Random Thought: Highschool football mom's scare the BAJESUS out of me!

My life is pretty boring right now...I've decided to make an amazon wish list, but it'll take some time.

Kisses! Who's you're blogga'?

The only thing worse than a rude person is a person who is being rude just for the sake of being rude. I had a customer come in today to buy cigarettes, and man oh man was he a real ass! The guy was probably in his early 50's and he came in with one of those huge check books...more like a check binder, I think they're only for businesses. Didn't say hello in return or anything, just looked up long enough to point and ask(more like demand) 3 packs of Marlboro's. I went ahead and got them, proceeded to ring them up on the register and then asked hime if there would be anything else with his purchase today. He looked at me as if I had started rambling off in a language very much foreign to him, then said no in the rudest way possible. His total came to $11.20 and he wrote out his check and handed it to me. We run our checks electronically on the spot to keep us from excepting bad ones, the only problem is that sometimes the check machine won't except business check...though sometimes it will. So I go to the machine to run it, and the guy says to me as if he were employee of the month; "NO, the check will not go through, so DO NOT put it in there!" I looked at him and said in the sweetest most polite way possible, "Sir, I've got it, thank you". What I really wanted to say is "Why the fuck don't you leave the cashier handling procedures to me and I'll leave the fugly old white man job to you....Oh and smoke a few more packs a day to speed up the process, thank you, and come again"! Of course that would not be in my nature, now would it? The icing on the cake for this situation was when he asked for a book of matches. Now for anyone that smokes, you'll know that many gas stations offer a complementary book of matches when you buy a pack of cigarettes. Our company is not soo anal retentive that it requires you give out NO MORE than 1 book per customer, but it's pretty much common sense that 1 is ample amount for one person. Well Mr. jack ass had this to say to me when I handed him 'only' 1 book of matches to him; "Hello in there(refering to my brain?) 3 packs would mean 3 book of matches...it's not as if it were rocket science or anything". I couldn't make this shit up even if I tried!

In regards to my previous post, I've gotten quite a few comments from you guys taking to heart my CNL (Christmas Needs List). Just so you know, I don't expect any of you to supply me with any of these items that will be sparatically posted in the coming months.The adult part of me is posting the CNL as a mental note written down, while the child in me posts the CNL in hopes that the big fat guy in the red suit will be reading blogs to help him distinguish the naughty and nice of bloggers. I love you guys and if anything would just like a post card, other wise just blogging with you is more than enough for this purdy lady!

Speaking of my CNL....

Item #2 of Need:



A vintage shirt. I feel the need to conform, and though this fashion trend is probably very close to dead if not already, I'm still game. I found this site and found a few that made me and the voices in my head laugh.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR VINTAGE SHIRT LOGO WOULD BE!
It can be one that you saw and liked, or you can let the originality pour out and make one up! I have no originality whatsoever...so I'll need time on this one.

Going to bed because I have to wake up at 4am...

Hello kiddies, it's been awhile since we last mingled...Well if you call a week a 'while' as I certainly do. I apologize for the absense, but I started my new job a couple of weeks ago, and I'm really friggin tired when I get home. I have however, missed you like you wouldn't believe!

The job is going well, like I said I'm just tired. I have to wake up Tues-Fri at 4:15am which needless to say I am not used to. I also worked the late shift last night which will be a weekly thing, and then I helped out at another store on Friday night b/c they were short handed. Many of you may be thinking, "shit woman, 35 hours a week and you think you're dead tired now? Try working 50 or 60 hours a week then tell me how 35 hours felt" or something along those lines. Keep in mind that I have not worked a stand-up job in about 6 months, so my body just has to get used to it again.

Friday night when I got home, my feet were KILLING me! They hurt soo bad, I just wanted to cut them off. Do you ever stand on your feet so long that when you finally relax, you just want to kneed them like bread dough? Well that's how mine felt on Friday. Friday was a particularly long day though. I worked 6am-noon and then again from 3pm-10pm...So that was a pretty long day with only 2 lunch breaks back-to-back inbetween.BLAAHHHG!

The store that I work at is open 24 hours and the over-night shift is covered by one person. Well on Thursday nights it's covered by this really tall, kid who for the sake of his own protection we'll call, Ned. So I got to work Friday morning and Ned was finishing up putting the order away when somehow him and another employee got to talking about Santa. They got on the topic of when each one stopped believing in Santa and Ned says to us, "I never believed in Santa because my mom never told me he was real". We were like, huh? Then he said, "Yeah, my mom doesn't believe in lying to children"... After he said it I was alittle sad for him, but not at all wierded out by it, until he made his next comment. "Yeah, and I used to work at a daycare, and I told all the kids that Santa wasn't real...they didn't beleive me at first, but I told them my mom told me straight up, he's fake".

Now that I've officially introduced the topic of Santa, I'd like to state for the record that the holidays are just around the corner and that means that lists of all kinds need to be made. And in the honor of Dane and his Christmas Needs List, I too will offer insight as to what I would like for the holiday season...Just incase the big man in the red suit is a blogger himself.

You Gotta Have Friends:

That's right, I'm a proud fan of mid 90's television phenomenon, that follows the lives, loves, and laughs of six young friends living in Manhattan. I already have complete Seasons 1,2,5,and 7, the best of collections vol.1-4, and for some unknown reason I have 2 copies of the best of season 4 dvd. I would love any of the following : Seasons 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, or 10

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

EAT LOTS OF CANDY!

I had the wierdest dream last night!

I was inside this huge ship/spaceship/submarine looking thing that was half filled with water. By big, I mean huge! At least the size of a mall if not bigger. In fact, it kind of was set up like a mall in the sense that there were stores or rooms outlining the whole inside of the vessel. Then there was a walkway outside these rooms that also served as a balcony which over-looked to this huge center pool of water. This pool of water was big enough that it was producing waves. The ship was not fancy or furnished in any way like a mall, instead it looked like a submarine and just the metal/steel or whatever they're made of. Very industrial like.

I was among about 1,000 pther people stuck in the water having not a clue where or why we were there. After what seems like hours of struggling to stay above water and trying to figure out what we're doing there the whole top of the vessel opens up. It opened ever so slowly and in the same manner of elevator doors (from the middle and opening out). Once the doors opened they reveal what appears to be the clear starry night sky, but could easily be outerspace as well... Suddenly we hear a mans voice over a very loud intercom system. Seconds later we follow the voice to a huge screen with that very same man speaking..What the hell? The man is Bill Gates! He is standing outside a spray paint shop inside the vessel looking down upon us. He is being video taped and put on big screen so we can all clearly see him.

He has this whole speech planned out, most of which I can't for the life of me remember. Then I suddenly blurt out, "Why the hell are we here, and when will we get to go home? Even with 1,000 people screaming and flailing about through the water, Bill still seems to hear me and replies, "You will all stay here for 508 days, unfortunately for quite a few of you, you will not be going home". "Then where are you taking us?", many asked in return . Rich bastard just smiled and let out an evil cackle.

Later on Bill returned to give us the run down on our food supply. He informed us that we would only be allowed to eat canned spaghetti and to make thinks even more interesting- every day 1 can that gets handed out will be laced with a lethal dose of poison. Now that pissed me off!

At that point I was able to get out of the water and scale the balcony, where I found my childhood friend Lisa who was balled up in the fetal position. I sat down next to her and retorically asked, "can you fucking believe this shit?" She then went on to tell my that her parents had sent her off to something similar to this a few years back, only they didn't know it was like this. They thought it was a camp that taught kids how to build their own business empire. She said that the 'evil dictator' at that 'camp' was no other than Oprah! Lisa said that it was just like this only Dr. Phil made MANY visits.

After hearing that, I was ready to over throw this whole thing, when I WOKE UP!

That was by far the craziest dream I have had in a long while!! I will be very suspicious of Bill Gates and Oprah for quite some time.

Anyone had any strange dreams lately? Let me know! Or if you know how to analyze dreams, I'd would just LOVE to hear what the hell this one meant...

Take the quiz: "Which Horror Movie Are You?"

The Craft
You're whole life, you've felt different. You know you're different, and that is why you break away from the norm and don't give a shit what other people think about you. You're you, you're proud, you're a bit... weird might I say? but you're far more interesting than most people will ever percieve. Keep being yourself, whether people like it or not.

I didn't realize that I went a whole week without posting. That is really strange, I must have been alot more busy than I thought.

I started my new job on Monday. Its convenient store work, which is nice because I have about 2 years of experience in that area. I went way too long without a job for reasons I don't even think I could clearly explain, but now I have one and the money will finally be able to start flowing in. The bank will probably take a double look when they see my account growing...My God its a miracle! She actually has money coming in, somebody take a picture of this, they WILL NEVER believe us!"

I was originally supposed to train all week, but once they figured out that I'm not their typical idiot and that I actually comprehend the job, they moved me to my store. That was 2 days into training...YAY ME! It's all easy stuff, the worst part is that I have to be at my store at 6am Tues-Fri and the commute is about 25 minutes, not to mention that I have to shower and get dressed. Also when winter officially arrives, I have to warm my car up, and the part of town I'm in I can't leave it running unattended. Long story short, I have to wake up WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY!

My sister called from school and asked me what I wanted for Christmas...Well actually she asked if I liked a few different things, I think she was shopping already. She's the bestest seeder a gurl could have! This got me thinking, what the hell am I going to get her? I had not a clue, and when I ask her I get the typical bestest seeder answer "You don't need to get me anything". Then a light bulb went off, I'm so gonna get her a ***********************************************

*HAHAHA GOTCHA LIDYBOMBIDY, THOUGHT I'D ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING SO FOOLISH, HUH? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE*

Have a good night kiddies

I HAVE A LOVE?HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THESE LISTS...

Got this from my friend Steph:

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4AM! I had to be at work at 6am.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds ARE a girls best friend3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?Must Love Dogs
4. What is your favorite TV show? Lost, Surface, Buffy, Law and Order, John Stewart, Gilmore Girls
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Slimfast and apple

6. What's your favorite cuisine? I love BBQ

7. What foods do you dislike? zuccini, lamb, deer, 90% of beans, sushi

8. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar baby!

9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? Death Cab for Cutie
10. What kind of car do you drive? I'm ashamed to say...86' Mercury Lynx

11. Favorite sandwich? meatball
12. What characteristics do you despise? Mean bitter people. People who cheat to get ahead in life, ingrateful people, road rage..

13. What is your favorite type of clothing? Jeans, cropped pants, sweatshirt/t-shirt, sandals or sneakers.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would yougo? North Dakota...I hear it's a woot!
15. What color is your bedroom? I don't appreciate this question...for you must have known that I have Peter Rabbit wallpaper...IT WAS THERE WHEN WE MOVED IN!! I lack the time and ability to remove it!

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Lane Bryant, Eddie Bauer(though I have little from there...), Target, Old Navy
17. Where would you retire to? the ocean
18. Favorite time of the day? Night...because I get to sleep

19. What was your most memorable birthday? Well the ONE and only birthday party that I had friends invited to, was at Champs restaurant and sports bar...I was like 11...I got jelly beans as a present. It was swell!
20. Where were you born? Omaha Nebraska...
21. Favorite sport to watch? gymnastics
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Steph, cuz shes already done it!
24. What fabric detergent do you use? ERA
25. Were you named after anyone? Unfortunately yes...My father Michael. Someday ask me the dumb story behind it.

26. Do you wish on stars? sure

27. When did you last cry? I don't know

28. Do you like your handwriting? Not really, it's too sloppy sometimes 29. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? sure, I'm bubbly and welcoming

30. Are you a daredevil? not at all
31. Do looks matter? unfortunately, yes
32. How do you release anger? I burn something....JK! I get really pissy
33. Where is your second home? I have one home
34. What were your favorite toys as a child? Oh man...it's hard to remember that far back. I watched Dirty Dancing ALOT when I was little. That was probably a toy for me. I vagely remember barbies, but not alot of them
35. What class in High School was totally useless? I guess math

36. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who me?.

37. Favorite movies? Generally anything with John Cusack, Truman Show, The Whole Nine Yards, The Village....
38. What are your nicknames? Chaelly, Chaellyboo, pooperina(not used anymore for obvious reasons)
39. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no

40. Do you think that you are strong? I will hunt you down...and kick YOUR ass! Strong enough for ya?
41. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate
42. What are your favorite colors? green, orange, lavendar

43. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I'm fat and every part of my body
44. Who do you miss the most? Lydia, Steph, Peanut and Sylvia...Lydia and Steph I'll see soon, but the other two are left in my memories
45. Do you want everyone you sent this to send it back? I don't really care
46. What color pants are you wearing? khaki
47. What are you listening to right now? the voices in my head
48. Last thing you ate? salad
49. If you were a CRAYON what color would you be? granny smith apple green!
50. Last person you talked to on the phone? my mother
51. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? body and sense of humor

52. Favorite Drink? margaritas
53. Do you wear contacts? No

54. Favorite Day of the Year? Christmas

55. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? happy endings

56. Summer or winter? Spring and fall57. Hugs OR Kisses? kisses...I like to suck face from time to time
58. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? cake
59. What Book(s)Are You Reading? my journal...

60. What's On Your Mouse Pad? my mouse...
61. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Um...nothing
62. Favorite Smells? My moms signature perfume, Men's Calogne, clean clothes, outside, campfires
63. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles

64. What's the furthest you've been from home? Washington DC

I don't know what to say....My brain is empty!

I just got home from my first day of training. Its was really boring. I dod however get to refresh on the characteristics of sexual harrassment in the workplace. I've come to realize that I know where all the actors from the day-time soap Passions were picked from...Cheap employer demonstrational videos! Because the acting is equally as shitty! My dog could have done a better job than them. But, I guess it's not about the quality, it's about the quantity of the info derived from it.

What if there were an award for employer demonstrational videos? I'd call it "The Chaellyboo"....and the The Chaellyboo for worst on-screen demonstrational acting goes to? That's got a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

You guys, I can't think, my brain is in fart-mode.

Later!

Good news: I'm not going to Hell & crazy socks are back in style!!!

Well at least according to the ex-con poor man I gave $1 to. This all happened while I was at the gas station fillin' up the Suzuki. ($36.88 to fill the little bitch up!). I got to chatting with a lady that had a dress on with a bunch of crazy colored socks attached to the skirt in the most random places. I had to look twice to make sure I was really seeing socks, when she looked at me and said "ohhh, yeah, it was Crazy Sock Day at school...the kids get mad if I don't participate". I let out a maniacal cackle when I realized that now I can dedicate ONE WHOLE DAY to crazy socks!! ROCK ON!!

Then while crazy sock lady and I were chatting it up, a very haggard looking poor man walked up to us and proceeded to explain how he had just gotten out of prison and that he was applying for a job at the Red Cross, but wondered if we could spare a buck to help him until he gets employed. I could tell that the lady didn't want to give him anything, but quite the perdicament she was faced with after just rambling on about how she is the worlds BEST teacher...And just between us...wouldn't the worlds BEST teacher help a fellow Omahian out? I too probably would not have given him anything..as I don't like to promote being in prison, but the man had excellent evidence with him that he was trying to get a job! Even had a copy of his birth certificate and drivers ID. I'm not sure why, but I glanced at it and let me just say...HE TOTALLY LIED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT!!! I saw some man flab under that coat... So I ended up giving him a buck as well...I also informed him that Pottery Barn was hiring for seasonal help, just incase he was interested!!!

Then as I concluded fillin up the car, he asks another lady that was in a Mercedes...and you can probably guess what she said, yup, that's right, she said "NOO, go away" (complete with the scrunched nose and 'go away' hand gesture). As I was about to leave, the man walked by the car and said to me " yeah, you know you won't be goin to Hell now!! Thank you maam, but that other woman...*looks her way* she gonna be needin' some sunblock for where she goin.

What a load off my shoulders, because my highschool peers totally had me under the impression that if you didn't own a Mercedes...you would go to HELL!!

If you're bored, you can put yourself on my map! Just click on the 'MAP YOURSELF' link to the left.

Here's a treat for ya! Enjoy!

MAPS MAPS

Got this over at Crystal's...hope she doesn't mind!

http://www.risingconcepts.com/frapper/chaellyboo

Let me know where you at homie!!

You know you're at Wal-mart

Thanks to Crystal for the idea on this.

Things seen at walmart:

Engaged couple picking out their wedding rings from the '$10.99 or less' rack. I hope they splurged and went for the $10.99 rings, anything less would be just plain CHEAP!

Applesauce and such

Years ago my mother prided herself with the fact that if worldly destruction came upon us, we would be well fed for a good 5 years with her healthy wholesome homemade canned food. We had everything...applesauce, salsa, chili sauce, a variety of jams including: strawberry, peach, raspberry, wildberry, applebutter, jalapeano, blueberry...Also canned veggies: pickles and beets, chili beean dip, tomato sauce, tomato puree, and whole tomatoes.

I believe the last time she canned something was in 1997, and what would ya know...WE STILL HAVE CANNED GOODS that is now 8 YEARS OLD! I'm not willing to put my stomach and my lacking gag reflex on the line for a possible glitch in the preservation-of-food-thru-canning system!!! I bring this up because my mom made a lovely dinner tonight, and thought it would be nice to have a generous serving of her famous applesauce with our pork. I trust 8 year old applesauce about as much as I trust 2 week old raw beef!

Today I spent a few hours outside doing yard work. It was a beautiful day to be out! It's hard to believe that it's still in the mid 70's in the middle of October...Hard to believe in Nebraska! I'm like 4 minutes walking distance from Jocelyn Castle, which is just shy of of being the most beautiful place in the Midwest.

Have a creative evening young ones!

What do ya know...bored AGAIN!!

Another lonesome night all by thee self!! You'd think after so many boring nights I'd get used to it, but no...it's the same thing every time! I'm currently drinking a tequila and lime juice while I listen to some easy tunes. I'm switching it up between Iron and Wine, The Fray, Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack, and last but certainly not least...Death Cab for Cutie.

My day was not much more thrilling than this evening. I had my 7 hour art class, but got out really early due to blissfully wonderful weather. When I got home from that, I sat down and flipped channels for a while. I stumbled across something funny that I thought you'd all like to hear. On E! they had some kind of True Hollywood Story on Miss America pagents, and the only thing I heard was this real bitch of a lady say "You don't see ugly women competing now do you? An ugly woman will not win, sorry ladies but that's the cold hard truth". At that moment I really felt like telling her where she could put her crown...

My older sister stopped by today. I don't want to use the word 'hate' but I sincerely dislike my sister. She is the purest form of evil there is! The sad part is that after we moved a couple of months ago, we went from being about 20 minutes away from her, to literally being 3 minutes from her! That is NOT good news! Someday I'll post the long dramatic Dynasty-like reason for why I'm not close to her, but I have a slight buzz and I don't want to spoil that!

Before I go, just a few things I'd like to say to the people who's blogs I read daily:

Dane: What the hell is with the suspense on this big 'Post'? I'm expecting something big my fellow blogger! Big.Huge.!

Fritz: Let me know if you need any tips on accomplishing EM. II. I'd be more than happy to come up with a few tactics for ya!! (I'm thinking LARGE scale profanity and nudity!).

Crystal: I have a good feeling I will think of you the next time I go to KMart or Walmart!! I'll definately stop by bedding to see the deals!

BOBI: Happy Birthday man! Go out and party! But don't drive or type while intoxicated...I mean it! If I find out you were typing under the influence...there WILL be hell to pay!!

Ashley: I'm jealous that you're so smart AND that you take Sociology online! Congrats on the 98!

Good Night people!!

Bored...On A Friday!!!!

It's 7pm here in Omaha. It's Friday night, and as usual I'm deciding what boring movie I should watch tonight. My brain is weighing the options between Two Weeks Notice, Friends Season 5, or Seinfeld Season 2...The decisions my mind is forced to make. Life or death people, really!!

There doesn't seem to be a whole lot on tonight, except the usually 'TGI Friday' shit. My mom swears by the show Hope & Faith on channel ABC. She also likes that new show on CBS with Jennifer Love Hewitt and that my friends is enough to make me want to eat my own vomit!! I really really dislike Ms. Hewitt and her acting skil...well what she does. I don't like to call her an actress or a singer or a talented anything! The one and only time I happen to be watching The View a couple weeks ago, Jennifer just so happened to be a guest. And my biggest wish was fulfilled! Everyone in the world had the opportunity to realize what an incompetant fool she is and why we should all damn her to manual labor!

In a 3.5 minute time span she went from talking about how she has 2 dead people in her house (in real life people!! Not on her show!!) And how these people were drawing off her energy...blah blah blah. Then to the other side of the nutbag extreme which is how she sent Matt Damon a bed! She claims that she read in the paper that Matt Damon was quoted saying that he was so tired from traveling around the world for work that he didn't even have a bed of his own to sleep in. So she goes ahead and does what most sane people do...She sends him a bed and a card then continues to get annoyed when he doesn't respond. I know it seems like a nice thing, but it's looney like tunes!

I think Law & Order SVU is on...I do love that show. Boy, would I love Detective Stabler to just....eehh eemm. I think we'll just leave that dream alone.

I'm gonna go do something productive.
Bye

Sorry for the craziness!!!!!

I've been being anal lately about my blog. I originally made my own template from scratch, but it ended up looking like a box of Cheez-It crackers. I finally found one that I think I like. Either way, I'm tired of looking for what I want, so this one will be staying for a while!

Night!

Don't get too comfortable...

I'm not sure if I like this template. I'm trying it out for a day or two and then I'll decide. I don't like the way the sidebar is all the way at the bottom. If anyone knows how to fix that, I would greatly appreciate the tip! Thanks

The Mighty Golden Arches and Cheez-It

Does anyone else get the vibe of the 'golden arches' and a box of Cheez-It crackers when they enter this blog??

I'm ohhh so proud of it because it took me about 4.5 hours to figure out how to change the template 'manually'...I think I'm going to search for a new template that DOESN'T remind me of McDonalds.

The Wonder of Midtown

So I woke up early this morning only to be greeted with my car having been broken into. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure I'd classify this as a typical burglary. Why, you may be asking? Well not only did the not take very much, they were very considerate as to not break any glass and closed the door when they were finished.

We just recently moved from West Omaha, to Midtown Omaha, and there is quite certainly an adjustment period. West Omaha, is alot newer (as Omaha grew to the West), and overall alot cleaner. Without being offensive, I'd say there is less crime and less homeless occupancy in West Omaha. Midtown is a much more spicy story. There's so much more flavor to Midtown, with 100 year old homes that have been refurbished into multi-thousand dollar homes, eclectic shopping strips, and alot more homeless people. We have a garage behind our backyard that is accessable through an alley, and as most alley's go, you tend to get some comotion in the last hours of the evening. I've seen a few people pass with their shopping carts, they go thru people's trash and make more noise than I think they realize, but they seem to be very pleasent.

Enter the crack of dawn this morning... I wake up super early to go help my mom at work, and I get in my car (nothing noticable from exterior of car). When I get in I realize that my glove compartment box is open and both sun visors are down completely (This is damning evidence for me!) I'm not all that upset because they didn't take anything from either of those places for lack of valuable stuff in them.


I have a really messy car right now. It's a mix of clothing, old school stuff, and trash.. I know where everything is, it's just built up to a mountain of my shit that is conveniently used as fuel for my mother's fire *wink wink*. The did steal my yellow UNO sweatshirt! I only wore it once, but it meant so much more to me than anyone will ever realize. It's not everyday you stumble upon a yellow and brown themed college sweatshirt for a college who's colors are red and wite...I stood out, and liked it!!

A moment of silence for the sweatshirt.

I'm going back to bed, peace out!

How Could I Forget?

I just received an email from my friend Steph out in San Francisco who brought 2 things to my attention (1 she probably didn't realize). The first is that I forgot to mention her in my last post! The second one I've forgotten, so it's not all that important!!

To Steph: I truly am very sorry, by not mentioning you I hope you didn't assume that I WOULD indeed make you wear neon flapper/fringe?! I would only make one person wear something so awful because it would only match her awful personality and I believe you know who I'm speaking of (*cough* lauren *caugh*).

Though I could probably make some arrangements if you're interested in the personalized cape...

Just so we're all up to speed, Lydia and Steph have recieved written blog evidence of my promise to keep them out of the flapper/fringe/Dolly/RuPaul bridesmaid gowns! So long as you wake me up with a 'wet willie' if I ever think that red ribbon ass bows would look good.

Deal.

Dream Analysis Anyone??

Last night I had a weird one of a dream. I dreamt thatI was getting married. Who I was marrying is one big blur, the focus of the whole dream was what the bride (me!) and my bridal party wore. Disclaimer: If you easily get nausious at the thought of overly bright colors and patterns, then please, for your own safety, do not read further.

I had on a very princess-like gown, but insisted on a big fat red ribbon to be tied around my waist and tied in a huge bow on my ASS! Then, so as not to leave the big ass bow lonely, I had a similar situation placed on my head! Like a little school girl. Many of you may be thinking...'Oh that's not all that bad, it could be much worse'. Yes, it could be, and ironic you say that, because it gets MUCH MUCH WORSE!!!

I ended up having like 13 bridesmaids, which is silly, because I don't even think I know 13 people that would willingly fill a bridesmaid position for me. Each bridesmaid wore a different color, and the common theme between these colors were NEON! It's really hard for me to describe what these dresses looked like, only because I puke alittle in my mouth everytime I think about it. But what the hell, here it goes. They were a cross between a 1930's flapper dress and a bad country fringe costume with sparkle, lots and lots of sparkle. To top it off, they came with personalized fringed cape's.

To my sister: I promise, I will not make you wear neon flapper fringe at my wedding.

So what the crap could that possibly say about me? The obvious? Dream Michaela has horrible horrible taste!



So what the crap does that say about me??

What did you do today?

Today I had my 7 hour art class, though I actually enjoyed it this week. Rather then meeting at the Elkorn campus and sitting in a room for the better part of the day, we met at Jocelyn Art Museum and screened the premiere of Art:21. Art:21 is a documentary of sorts on contemporary artists all over the place. The 4 artists featured were Cai Guo-Qiang, Laylah Ali, Krzysztof Wodiczko, Ida Applebroog. Never heard of them? Yeah, neither had I!!

I'm partial to contemporary art...I like it when the art actually has content on the artists behalf, not when it's a dot and a squiggly line and the artist says it's the viewers opinion what to depict from it...In fact I hate that!

The theme of the episode was Power. How different artists depict power in their artistic views. Cai Guo-Qiang did a number of different things. He produced art with gun powder. It was strange, but still very interesting, almost like performing art in the sense that you want to be there for the making of it. He sprinkles gun powder on canvas then blows it up, the end product is very interesting. He also liked the idea of things in slow motion. The beauty of a car flipping in the air 3 times in slow motion. He actually had an exhibit of this! It was amazing!

This is the car flipping in the air! Cool, huh?

Laylah Ali is a 2-D artist that I didn't really find all that interesting. The only thing I got out of her part in the documentary was that she is an anal-retentive crazy lady!

Krzysztof Wodiczko does large scale slide and video projections. Mostly focusing on political or controversial topics in society. Included are terrorism, rape, murder... His art often serves as monuments for different causes.

Ida Applebroog is just awesome! I don't even know how to explain her art. She doesn't even consider it art, and some of it I wouldn't either. She is definately a feminist in her art and in life. She does drawings that literally look like a 6 year old drew, and then sculptures that are sloppily formed bodies with giant vaginas! Vagina's seem to play a big part in her art. I kept seeing them everywhere. Hopefully I wasn't just imagining them, b/c you know you're in trouble when you're hallucinating vagina's!

Overall I thought they were all very interesting.

All images from www.pbs.org

Fritz

Saw this on Fritz site, so what the hell!
Instructions:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Here it is:
"The extreme shock of it all must have been because I was caught off-guard".

This came from What's that smell?...Get back here you little shit

I was having a very very bad moment with my dog.

Heavenly Comfort

I've dedicated my whole day to waiting for the delivery men to drop off my moms new mattress. It's an ultra blah blah pillowtop blah mattress that is supposed to be borderline heavenly. Well, the look my mom had on her face when she tested it at the store would lead me to believe that it is heavenly. There's only a couple other instances where one would need that kind of expression...you get my drift? My brilliant sister decided that it would be the perfect early birthday gift. She also is temporarily picking up the tab until Miss Jobless (that'd be me) gets a job and the moola starts rolling in by the truck loads again.

Did anyone else notice that Buffy is played in sindication on like 9 stations? I think FX was the channel I was watching it on today...Anyhoo I was watching it (the episode where Buffy is resurrected), and I was moved to tears. Then I realized that Buffy was the first and possibly the only show that has crappy acting by C-List actors that could still manage to make me cry...Now that's some good bad acting!!!

When do you think reality television will die??

Autumn is in the air

Today the weather is very mild, borderline chilly, but I love it! No clouds in the sky just the sun. It's this time of year that I love living in Nebraska!

Today I continue my hunt for a job! Wish me luck!

Blah..

I'm having one of those days. One of those days where you don't want to get out of bed...one that when you do, you just think about bed and sleep and nothingness until the day ends. I actually had a 'somewhat' active day....and by active I mean that I went to the Furniture Mart with my mom and the grocery store. In the spirits of Ashley, who really touched my blog soul with her very honest post, I guess I should dedicate one post to some honesty rather than the usual semi-humorous themed attitude.

I am a sophmore in college. I graduated highschool in 2004 and the following Fall entered University of Nebraska at Omaha (UNO) while living at home. Alot of things happened around that time, one of them being my mother getting her hard-working ass laid-off b/c the company she worked for was moving to Mexico. For awhile I had to step up to the plate and really help out, which I don't regret for a moment b/c my mother has worked her ass off for the better part of her whole life all in the name of her children. Helping out financially tought me a valuable lesson that not many 18 year olds get to learn. Most of the 18 year olds (that I knew from high school) were at the peak of the party hard era of their life and not working to help pay bills.

The transition from high school to college while living at home proved to be not nearly as smooth as I would have enjoyed it to have been. It wasn't until after Winter break of Freshman year that it really hit me like a wall. I went through this realization that I totally missed or was currently missing out on that part of my life when I'm away from the parents, growing as a person, learning new things, and meeting new people. I was doing the exact opposite! I was closer to my parents then ever before (I don't feel that to be a bad thing), I was NOT growing as a person, and I was only losing people in my life. Losing people in the sense that my high school friends were either out of state for school or at UNO, but partying it up and making new friends thru drinking and realizing that I'm an old lady that doesn't party so why the hell be friends with her. It was all of this that really slapped me into a depressed state.

It's funny because I never say it out loud...I'm depressed. I can type it, but I don't even like to say it to myself in an empty house. Maybe because I feel like I should be ashamed for feeling that way, because there are so many people out there that have much better reason to be depressed, and what I'm going thru is just a funk, one that 'would be fixed if I'd just take vitamins'. I'd say that the worst period of my 'funk' was like February-May. I just didn't want to get out of bed. I slept all the time, the only things that got me up were school and work. I was so hostle with my mom for no reason, just because I couldn't muster up enough energy or happiness to smile and at least pretend that I was fine.

Several attempts were made by my amazing sister to try to openly talk about my issues, but I denied it, said I was fine and that it was just a phase. Only a couple of times during heated arguement would I say there was a problem. I've never once really talked to my mom about it, only because she works like 80 hours a week...on a good week, so I know that how ever I felt, she probably felt 10x worse. The breaking point was physically hurting myself. I had a friend that me and a few of my close friends put thru an 'intervention' if you will during high school b/c she openly mutilated herself b/c of issues she had with her parents. At that point in my life I was a happy-go-lucky girl that could not fathom inflicting intentional pain on myself in the hopes of making some form of emotional pain go away. I remember telling myself that I would never suppress my anger or sadness to the point of doing that. 3 years later, feeling that I was about to fall off the edge, curiosity drove me to it, with a pocket knife, nothing serious, just some scratches probably over a 2 month period. I don't really know why I did it, maybe b/c it was better than the other thoughts that lingered far off in the corners of my mind. I know that I'm not at all proud of it. I also know that the only thing that I benefitted from it was realizing that I was not THAT crazy and that hurting yourself physically will not solve any problem.

To date I have not recieved any counciling nor any medical treament, partially b/c if I can barely talk to myself or my family about my problems, I know I can't talk to a therapist. I do think I'm alot better, I try to stay in touch with people from high school, and try to keep myself busy in general. I don't have a job right now, which I think is why I'm having one of those days...

I left my job of 3 years last November due to a change of command in the company that didn't sit well with me. Other than a temp position at a tux rental shop that a friend of mine worked at, and my 12 hour/week work study job which I stopped working at in May, I haven't had a steady job. My intentions at the beginning of the summer was to take a break for a month or 2 and try to get myself back in order. Well it's been like 4 months, and I'm just now looking for a job. I need one b/c we just bought a house and I'm 19 so it's really my responsibility to contribute financially. Well I'm having a shitty time finding one! Just my luck...I've always seen 'NOW HIRING' signs everywhere I went, but aparently every employer in town knows that I'm job hunting, and they're just playin' it safe.

One thing that in a real loserish kind of way has helped me is blogging. I started mine in July and though I'm not really part of a 'blog community' I really do take comfort and joy out of the regular blogs that I read. It really helps with that good old remedy of laughing your problems away.

It does feel better getting that out...even if it's just venting to empty space.

Good Night and wishing y'all as happy of a Monday as humanly possible.

Listening to: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie on the Six Feet Under: Vol. 2 Soundtrack verrrrrry good song.

I do not look forward to Saturday's anymore. I have a 7 hour art class on Saturday, and it just is not all it's cracked up to be. My first thought when I signed up for it was that it wouldn't be that bad because afterall, art is easy so it's just 7 hours of at least making it look like you're drawing. Well, instead it just kills. It starts at 9am, but takes me about 30 min. to get there then we scetch and take notes for about 2 hours, and after that we get a 10 minute break (to cleanse our ora of filthy information). Another 2 hours of Artsy crap we take lunch and let that settle with another 2.5 hours of doodling. I like art, but the first few classes are like how to shade and draw a circle, so it gets very tiring, very easily.

I wish I could post some things that I drew today, but I did everything on 18"x 24" newsprint... alittle too big for my scanner.

Yes that's right, I do not own a digital camera. Laugh all you want, but it's true and sad. I want one, I could use one, but we just have yet to get around to it, maybe soon.

I'm 52% DORK

Yay Me!

Holy Shit

Today was just another day in Omaha. Woke up early today, my mom had the day off so of course I was up earlier than usual. Went to class at 12:30 on the south campus. I'm taking a semester at Metro so that I can try and get some direction in my education.. There are many different campuses in Omaha (and Elkorn) one of them being to South Omaha campus. Being the sheltered spawn that I am, I've never really been acquainted with South Omaha. Not that it's a bad area, just that as my mom says "it's not nearly as safe as West Omaha". Well let me tell you, the crime rate is not what hit me like a WALL! That would be the horrific smell of COW SHIT! Yes, that's right, they chose to plop the South Campus of Metro right in the middle of the friggin Stockyards!

Apparently South Campus Metro is right next to the Meat Packing Co.. Well they get daily...wait make that hourly truck loads of cows (moment of silence for the cows), and when they come, they really come...shit and ALL! The smell is just unbearable, and I'm not talking about your typical driving on the interstate and pass the cute cow pasture...we're talking I'd-rather-stick-my-nose-in-my-dogs-butt-b/c-it's-so-much-better kind of stank! It's a whole new level of stench!!

My sources tell me that they store the cows underground b/c a few years back they stored them aboveground and they passed an ordinence due to the unbearable smell. Okay, I don't even want to think about the possibility of that area smelling any worse!

My crazy neighbor is being crazy again..

I need a digital camera, so I can post my own pictures.

At Ease

I fixed my link issue. It got pretty heated there for a minute, but all is well. I figured me self out how to put up links!



Remember: Put the you know what, in the you know where...

Issues HELP

I'm having big issues with my link section right now. I just switched to a new template, and in return, I get no link section. Hopefully I'll get my list back up in a few minutes.

If anyone knows how to put in a link section, please do tell, it would be greatly appreciated!

Peace Love and Nachos!!

The Lynx, Gnomes, and babies

My car is a total piece of shit. It just sucks. I have a 1986 Mercury Lynx that I got from my grandma about 2 years ago. At the time it was a very nice gift, and yes it has gotten me where I need to be for the most part, but I think it's on it's last wheel...To the naked eye, it seems like a nice car, no rust, clean inside, only 53,000 miles...but that's all just a show, when in reality it has battery issues (even with a new battery), gas leakiness, fan belt problems, and a very suspicious clunking sound underneath the car.

The clunking is the worst issue to date. I hear it when I'm braking while in reverse, and it sounds like little gnomes whacking at my axel with wooden mallets. What if it really is? How weird would that be?
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Had my micro-computer fundamentals class today. Nothing particularly exciting going on in there except for the fact that my instructor is a fool. She doesn't know a damn thing about computers, which makes me wonder how the hell she got a job teaching students..but we probably shouldn't pull on that string...
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I seriously need to start blogging about my dreams, b/c you people would think I were on drugs if you read about some of the stuff I dream up.

Last night I dreamt that I was pregnant and I was telling everyone I knew about it, thus having giant baby showers thrown in me and my expecting offspring's honor...I even kept thinking that I needed to post about my baby coming on my blog, b/ c well, you all deserve to be in the know about my life. Half way through the dream I realize (while at my baby shower) that it was a lie that had gotten completely out of hand. I didn't have the balls to get up and tell everyone that I had made it all up, b/c that would make me look bad (wink wink). So instead I started to devise a plan that would get me knocked up ...exit that dream and enter another dream where I actually am pregnant, and I get the news that I'm having triplets...karma is such a bitch!

Moral of that dream? Don't lie otherwise you will give birth to triplets!

I suspect that it would SUCK

Last night I attended my first Sociology class at school. I had to late register into it, and due to lack of other options I willingly signed up for the Thursday night class from 6pm-10pm. Bad choice people! Very very BAD choice. If you're going to take a 4 hour night class that will run to 10pm, make it something a hell of alot more interesting than Intro to Sociology! Maybe basket weaving, or paper mache (sp?) or something that will keep those eye lids open!

To make this class even more painful, the instructor is just BLAH! He seems to be a pretty easy-going fella, but man is he monotone and repeatitive. There were 2 things that this man kept saying; "The problem with that is" and "I suspect ....".The "I suspect" one is what started sounding like nails on a chalkboard after about 1hour into the class. I need the class to be full time, and it is a gen ed, so life is good...I suspect.

I went into a gas station today to get an application for employment, and the man behind the counter said to me, "why the hell you wanna work in a hell whole like this?" Good question strange old man, but you really don't want to pull on that thread...

I have a 7 hour art class tomorrow...wish me good luck!!