Thursday, October 20, 2005

Good news: I'm not going to Hell & crazy socks are back in style!!!
Well at least according to the ex-con poor man I gave $1 to. This all happened while I was at the gas station fillin' up the Suzuki. ($36.88 to fill the little bitch up!). I got to chatting with a lady that had a dress on with a bunch of crazy colored socks attached to the skirt in the most random places. I had to look twice to make sure I was really seeing socks, when she looked at me and said "ohhh, yeah, it was Crazy Sock Day at school...the kids get mad if I don't participate". I let out a maniacal cackle when I realized that now I can dedicate ONE WHOLE DAY to crazy socks!! ROCK ON!!
Then while crazy sock lady and I were chatting it up, a very haggard looking poor man walked up to us and proceeded to explain how he had just gotten out of prison and that he was applying for a job at the Red Cross, but wondered if we could spare a buck to help him until he gets employed. I could tell that the lady didn't want to give him anything, but quite the perdicament she was faced with after just rambling on about how she is the worlds BEST teacher...And just between us...wouldn't the worlds BEST teacher help a fellow Omahian out? I too probably would not have given him I don't like to promote being in prison, but the man had excellent evidence with him that he was trying to get a job! Even had a copy of his birth certificate and drivers ID. I'm not sure why, but I glanced at it and let me just say...HE TOTALLY LIED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT!!! I saw some man flab under that coat... So I ended up giving him a buck as well...I also informed him that Pottery Barn was hiring for seasonal help, just incase he was interested!!!
Then as I concluded fillin up the car, he asks another lady that was in a Mercedes...and you can probably guess what she said, yup, that's right, she said "NOO, go away" (complete with the scrunched nose and 'go away' hand gesture). As I was about to leave, the man walked by the car and said to me " yeah, you know you won't be goin to Hell now!! Thank you maam, but that other woman...*looks her way* she gonna be needin' some sunblock for where she goin.
What a load off my shoulders, because my highschool peers totally had me under the impression that if you didn't own a would go to HELL!!
If you're bored, you can put yourself on my map! Just click on the 'MAP YOURSELF' link to the left.
Here's a treat for ya! Enjoy!

this is an audio post - click to play


FRITZ said...

Good for you.

I always hand out spare change. I know, I know...they might be scamming for drugs or alcohol, but that's not between me and them. It's between them and...God? Themselves? Virtue? Whatever.

And, uh, Mercedes lady? I don't believe in hell, but I'm pretty sure you're going there. Selfish bitch. That's what the rich are like, though, I swear.


And the Crazy Sock Lady did ROCK, even though she probably isn't the world's BEST teacher (that was Ghandi).

Hey, I say you start a sock blog. Crazy Sock Blog. Everyone emails pictures of their socks to you.

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Anonymous said...

That's a good idea Fritz! Crazy socks UNITE!!

Your audio post was great!! You're a terrific singer!


Michaela said...

LOL...sorry anon it was just a clip from Buffy!

I wish I could take the credit though!!

Harry Yak said...

i so love socks. i preffer to put them on my feet despite the rumor of me mimicing the red hot chilli peppers.

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