Thursday, August 11, 2005

Donate to the 'Get Me A Better Car' Fund

Oh isn't she a beauty...No, no she's not, she's a piece of shit! Actually, shit doesn't begin to describe the hell on greasy wheels my car has turned into.

I have horrible luck with cars...My sister seems to think I'm just ungrateful b/c the 2 cars I've had, were technically given to me by relatives. Meaning that I didn't have to buy my car..(like she did). Ya want to know why I practically got the cars for free?Because they suck fat ass!

My first car that I got from my rich (but very cheap and mean) bastard of an uncle...uncle B. He sold me a 1983 Chrysler LeBaron for $500. The car belonged to a dead client of his. Figures, that he would try and make a buck off his clients even after death and his niece...It was brown exterior with orange leather interior and had 72,000 miles. As an immature kid who at the time worked at A&W (colors..brown/orange) I thought I was the grand poo pa.

Now for a while the car was great, it had a computerized system in it, which apparently in the early 80's was a break-through in technology. Oh and by 'computerized system' I mean it would greet me when I opened the car door, it told me to buckle up when I turned the car on, and reminded me that the keys were still in the ignition after I turned the car off....all in a cheap robotical voice. Drunk people thought it was a trip.
I had the car through that summer, and when cold weather hit, it died, and would not come back to life...retract that, it would come back for a mere $2200...I kept my money, paid my respects, and moved on.

Then I borrowed my sisters car for a few monthes while she was away at college. Thanks Lydia! Then last year my grandma gave me her 1986 Mercury Lynx as a gift and as a way to help us out, since Lydia needed her car back. It was in great shape. No rust, only 50,000 miles on it, fairly clean under the hood...

It all seemed like destiny. It's total shit now! I just put (rather, my mom put) $400 into it and it didn't do a fucking thing! When in reverse and pressing on the break, it makes this God awful clunking sound, as if little yard gnomes are under there making horrid music. It constantly dies, and the little bitch insists on dying in rush hour traffic.

When in doubt...just sell it on eBay...that's what they say now-a-days, right?

Project of the day: Count the number of birth marks on your body.