Sunday, August 21, 2005

Dear Garage Sale Goers

To those of you who are avid bargain shopper predators who choose to make garage sales your prey, suck my big toe.

I spent the better part of Friday and Saturday committing myself to a garage sale in hopes of getting rid of a few things that we could no longer fit in our home as well as making some money. Friday I spent going through my old clothes and other things that had out-dated themselves in my life. By 10 pm Friday night, I was ironing my old clothes so that they 'look presentable' because apparently the majority of you freaks commit your weekends to these sales and refuse to buy a shirt because it has a few wrinkles on it.

My next issue with you guys is the haggling. Now, I'm all for a little compromising, and prepared to knock the price off of everything. But damn, I might as well just gift wrap it and personally deliver it to your home. Have you no shame? $.50 for a brand new, never worn Gap shirt? COME ON! And to the woman that got into a heated arguement with me over an almost new-perfectly good working watch because I refused to sell it to her for $.25; BACK OFF!, I'm not in shape but I'm packin' a whole lotta man-power in these hips, and I will knock you into next week BITCH!

I love children, I want them and plan to have some of my own in the future. I was thinking 3; 2 girls and 1 boy...But in the name of reality television, DON'T BRING THE FUCKERS TO GARAGE SALES! And when you do, and they break something...be prepared to pay for it..without a tone in your voice. It's not my fault your offspring are savage beasts.

I ended up making $75 and having nearly half of my stuff left over...looks like the Goodwill will be getting a mighty fine donation this week.

8 comments:

Walking,Talking,Poison said...

LOL! I save myself the trouble and just bring the stuff to Goodwill in the first place. I have had a friend or two talk me into the garage sale thing. Only because you need someone to watch the stuff when you run to pee or else these weasels would rather steal something rather than pay 25cents for it.
Honestly, it has never ever been worth the money that I made. If I have something that I really want to make some money back on, I head to ebay. Then all I ever need deal with is the persons email. =)

JeanC said...

I tried doing a yard sale a couple of times and never again, too much hassle and not enough reward. I may give things to a friend if they do one, but from here on out I get rid of things thru our local freecycle.org lists and then anything left over goes to Goodwill. Haven't had to take anything to Goodwill in quite a while.

Anamika Anyone said...

Wow!
You made it through that...

Michaela said...

It was rough. Have you ever done it? These people are crazy mo foes! They will haggle to the death if that's what it takes...I've never seen anything like it in my life before.

I'm still recovering, but I'm fairly positive that ther is perminant damaged...

Sunny said...

Fiona Apples Album Extraordinary Machine comes out October 4th

Danius Maximus said...

uuuungh, waste of time, take your own advice and go ebay!

Jen O. said...

Not a response to your email, but nonetheless...

Hi there…

You have been tagged. No one is forcing you to participate, of course. But I hope you do.

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