Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Official Apology

I promise that I won't blog drunk again. I swear last night I thought that the previous post was my best 'work' to date... Well, it turns out that it was just a perfect example of your judgement being significantly impaired from alcohol.

Tomorrow is the big moving day! The movers will be here at 9am!!

I'm soo tired. I can't wait until this bullshit is done with!

Night.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

My cheeks are hot...

I'm drunk.

I've just spent the last 2 days moving into our new house...me and my mom (who has a bad back) decided that we could do it on our own. 4 full U-haul trucks later, I figured out too late that no, we can't do it on our own. Not with out wanting to stab myself with a blunt knife into my left eye. (I'm a lefty so it only makes sense...). The sad thing is that between the 2 of us our stuff took 4 very large truck loads and we still haven't gotten everything.

I live in Nebraska, so of course 75 degree weather feels like 95 degrees with the humidity...Mix that with me and 78 boxes of which each weigh a good 40-50 lbs each...makes for more sweat than should be humanly possible.

I've decided to celebrate with margaritas. 6 of them...so far. So for the last 2 hours I've been sitting at the computer desk trying to read about hurricane katrina and listening to 'Swing Life Away' by Rise Against. I bought the song on iTunes after i'd heard it several times on the radio. Thought it was a good song, I liked the mellowness of it. Well after 4 drinks, I got to listening to the lyrics and realized...what the shit?

Let us disect this 'shit'...

A. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours first, lets compare scars i'll tell you who's is worst". The first part of that line sounds like he's talking about private parts. and "..i'll tell you who's is worst". Is that even proper english? Not in my grammer book.

B."We get by just fine here on minimum wage...If love is a labor I'll slave till the end". Okay very sweet and induring, sounds like something you could stitch on a pillow. But when you put those lines together, it seems like you're being paid minimum wage for laboring over love. And really, should you be getting paid for loving?? Sounds a little scetchy if you ask me.

C. "I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand". What, are you like 5 years old? Cross the damn street on your own.. And if you are 5, my above statement comes into question. Why are you loving someone else? And for minimum wage none the less?

I don't really like this song anymore...I've listened to it on repeat for the last 2 hours.

Oh, my! I was just looking for a new song to listen to on repeat...I found one...oh did I ever! 'Feeling Good' by Nina Simone very blue-sy...oh I'm lovin' it.

"Birds flyin' high you know how i feel... Sun in the sky you know how i feel... Breeze driftin' on by you know how i feel... Its a new dawn its a new day, it's a new life for me...

*****

We bought 'Hint of Lime' chips to go with our southwestern theme celebration. And to my surprise, 'Hint of Lime' chips do NOT sit well with tequila. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT eat chips with a 'Hint of Lime' unless you want a 'Hint of Vomit' in your mouth 6 drinks into your evening.

I'm now done with my 6th margarita, and i'm eying the tequila and margarita mix like a starving child looking at a loaf of bread. Both are within my reach...should I? Shouldn't I?

****

I'm on my 7th margarita.

****

Just so we're all clear, this post is being created over about a 3 hour time span...Maybe an 2 hours, but no less!

I just realized that after i bought Rise Against's 'Swing Life Away' off of iTunes, it's on Netscape music FOR FREE! What a waste of money...Do you have any idea what I could have done with that $.99? I live 3 minutes away from a $1 general store...the possibilities are endless.

****

I'm pretty drunk right now. The sad thing is that I'm all by my lonesome. I would say that the only thing worse than a drunk, is a lonely drunk. But I'm not really 'a drunk' I'm just drunk. So I guess it doesn't count.

I'm on Netscape Music right now, and I thought I'd try listening to some Hillary duff to see if my reaction is any different while intoxicated...After careful analysis, I've decided that no, she still sounds like howling dog.

I'm having trouble typing. Good night.

P.s. Anamika, I will post my interview questions tomorrow!!!

Friday, August 26, 2005

Harry Potter...vagina??

Said to me last night by my friend Steph.

I'm watching Date my daughter...and it's a lesbian episode and she's like "Ahhh Ariel looks like Harry Potter...with a vagina! I love it!"

That one caused a cramp in my side.

BOBI's interview


1. Praying Mantises or Sea Urchins?
I love the Praying Mantis because it can do that to a hummingbird.
Muwahaha...2 points Praying Mantis...0 points humming bird.

2. What comic-book hero's (who has not had a movie made yet and does not, now, have a movie in the making) movie would you most like to see? (Ex: X-Men, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Superman, Batman: unacceptable)
I never was a big comic book reader. Nothing against them, in fact I enjoy a good comic from time to time, but when I was a kid my parents definately would have told me that was a big waste of money.

With that said, I'll go with Super-Pets. Knowing that there's a Kryptonian monkey named Beppo is more than enough of a reason to keep me interested...

3. Do you like it hot or cold when you sleep?
Cold. Please, someone that enjoys it hot when they sleep, explain to me why one would be comfortable sleeping in their own sweat? Perhaps because I'm from Nebraska and the damn humidity index is rediculous. Anywhoo, I'd rather snuggle in a 'blanky' than lay in my bed naked and sweaty. You've got an image in your head now, don't you?

4. Don't you hate it when you burp after drinking pop (soda to you weirdos) and your mouth is closed so it blows out your nose and it burns like Hell? Don'tcha?
Yeah, with that degree of burning you'd think it was acid going through your nose.

5. What is your favorite prepared dish?
Fried green peppers. Does that count? They're reeeaally gooood. Get in my belly!
Okay, okay...I'm done.

the rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below asking to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My top 5 songs

I'm so sorry Anamika, I didn't even realize that you tagged me like 9 days ago. It's alittle late, but here it is:

List five songs that you are currently digging - it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions and the five songs (with artist) in your blog. Then tag five people to see what they're listening to.

1. Past The Mission by Tori Amos and featuring Trent Reznor (NIN).
I just recently discovered this song and it really caught me off guard. Listen to it from beginning to end, and it sounds like you're listening to 2 different songs intertwined.

2.Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie.
I just bought DCfC's Transatlanticism on iTunes. Good song, makes me want to tap my foot obsessively.

3. The whole damn Garden State Soundtrack!
I'm sorry but it's too hard to choose just one song from this album. I seriously have had it in my CD player for about 6 monthes. I guess if I had to choose just one...it would be Such Great Heights by Iron & Wine. I also enjoy this song by The Postal Service. Very different versions though.

4.Breathe Me by Sia
Anyone that watched the series finale of Six Feet Under should remember this song. They played this as Claire is on the road to New York City and the Fischer family's fate is laid out for everyone to see. I cried soo hard during that episode. This song and the last 10 minutes of the finale are to blame for so much snot coming out of my nose. Good times, good times.

5.Only by Nine Inch Nails
I really love this song. It starts kind of up beat, but gets heavy half way through. In case I didn't mention it already, I'm crazy for Trent Reznor. He's weird and I love it! Overall, I'd say With Teeth is a pretty good album, very much worth buying!

I want these people to do this list:

1. Lydia
2. Steph
3. Jen O.
4. Sunny
5. Chris

good luck!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I got tagged...

Okay, so I got tagged. I'm not sure what the protocal is, but it's my first one, so what the hell...

7 things I plan to do before I die
1. Become a size 6
2. Get married
3. Become Donald Trumps 4th wife. (bite your tongue, bite it!)
4. Travel to Figi...it's clique but what the hell..
5. Have children
6. Join a club (besides a fitness club)
7. Bitch slap someone

7 things I can do
1. Make elephant sounds
2. I can crack all 10 knuckles and all 10 toes, and a fascinating number of other joints
3. Speak with a british accent
4. I can take the same tone of voice as my mother when 'royaly' pissed off
5. Cook an excellant meal
6. make eggs 'sunny side up' without breaking the yolk.
7. Be a good friend

7 things I cannot do
1. Run
2. Rap like Jay z
3. hold my liquor
4. grow my damn nails out without having one break...then it just doesn't look even!
5. Write in a straight line
6. Train my dog to be a 'good' dog
7. Promise that I'll never listen to Celine Dion when I'm in one of my 'moods'

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Sense of humor
2. Hands
3. Good personality
4. Taller than me...not hard to do, I'm only 5'8"
5. Not a metrosexual...I'm not freakishly beautiful, so I don't want the fucking competition.
6. Level of nerdiness...I'm a 45, he must be above that!
7. Doesn't make daily goals of how many hours can one play video games...

7 things that I say most often
1. What the hell
2. You sonofabitch!
3. It's not that easy guys
4. You know what I mean?
5. Good luck show boy.
6. Damn
7. Whatever

7 celebrity crushes
1. Bill Gates come on! You can't deny the hottness...
2. John Cusack
3. Trent Reznor
4. Dave Grohl
5. All 4 members of Coldplay
6. Ryan Dunn
7. Vince Vaughn

7 people I want to do this
1.Lydia
2.Steph
3.Danius Maximus
4.austinizer
5.Sunny
6.Anamika
7.gwidgybo

My word, that took awhile...i know these are supposed to be fun, but....

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Dear Garage Sale Goers

To those of you who are avid bargain shopper predators who choose to make garage sales your prey, suck my big toe.

I spent the better part of Friday and Saturday committing myself to a garage sale in hopes of getting rid of a few things that we could no longer fit in our home as well as making some money. Friday I spent going through my old clothes and other things that had out-dated themselves in my life. By 10 pm Friday night, I was ironing my old clothes so that they 'look presentable' because apparently the majority of you freaks commit your weekends to these sales and refuse to buy a shirt because it has a few wrinkles on it.

My next issue with you guys is the haggling. Now, I'm all for a little compromising, and prepared to knock the price off of everything. But damn, I might as well just gift wrap it and personally deliver it to your home. Have you no shame? $.50 for a brand new, never worn Gap shirt? COME ON! And to the woman that got into a heated arguement with me over an almost new-perfectly good working watch because I refused to sell it to her for $.25; BACK OFF!, I'm not in shape but I'm packin' a whole lotta man-power in these hips, and I will knock you into next week BITCH!

I love children, I want them and plan to have some of my own in the future. I was thinking 3; 2 girls and 1 boy...But in the name of reality television, DON'T BRING THE FUCKERS TO GARAGE SALES! And when you do, and they break something...be prepared to pay for it..without a tone in your voice. It's not my fault your offspring are savage beasts.

I ended up making $75 and having nearly half of my stuff left over...looks like the Goodwill will be getting a mighty fine donation this week.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Google is my savior

You want to know what is really sad? I rely on Google. I use it as my main search engine, but it means so much more to me than that. I really do have a problem. I've gotten into the habit of googling any questions I might have in hopes of finding an answer, then when found, I assume even the most rediculous and unreasonable answers are the truth only because I googled it and well...google is always right.

Case and Point, earlier this summer I got a really bad sun-burn that I decided aloe vera gel was just not going to cut it. Googled the situation and found tons of 'cures' for sun burns. I found remedies such as the normal aloe vera, apple cidar vinegar...then I found some new ones...milk, butter, mayo, pretty much any type of vinegar...and a really strange one; bread. Unfortunately I didn't take into consideration that most of those were not recommended by a doctor, or specialist,but just some nobody.

(I ended up just using apple cidar vinegar only because smothering mayo all over my body just isn't my cup of tea... and butter is really expensive).

And since when did google become an official verb in the dictionary?

From Dictionary.com :

Main Entry: google1
Part of Speech: verb
Definition: to search for information about a specific person through the Google search engine
Example: She googled her high school boyfriends.
Etymology: trademark Google
Usage: googling n

I remember way back when, when I was a fan of the Lycos search engine. I think the whole Scottish themed commercial was what did it for me. But once I hit high school, it was like totally cooler to do google, and well I do just about anything to be in the 'in-crowd'.

Careful, I recken them Google masterminds are tryin' to brainwash us...They're gonna take over the world..

Monday, August 15, 2005

Gay? Not Gay?


Okay so in regards to my dog being a flamming homo...we talked about it (over coffee, of course), and he says it's because the dog was loud, had a gimp leg, and she had 2 different colored eyes. And when it comes right down to it...I don't like men with gimp legs either...sure as hell don't want to hump them. And I'm torn on the multiple colored eyes. If Oscar's anything like me he already has a hard enough time concentrating on the eye area during conversation...and that's with 2 eyes...same color.

My eyes wonder during conversation...I'll be listening to someone talk to me, and my eyes will go from their eyes, to their forehead, then nose, then mouth, then ears...ect. I'm currently taking medication in hopes of rectifying the problem...but the prognosis isn't very promising.

Back to the sexual preference issue with my DOG. Who gives a poop in a half what he likes. Hell, I've seen him look at the squirrels in an odd way.
Plus he did say to me...in the words of Jack McFarland "I took an oath in front of God and my mother...I'm here, I'm queer...get used to it".

Note: Anyone that is offended by any comments I have made in this post should just deal with it because it's my blog. But really, I love EVERYONE. So cheer up mates!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

So tired, so very very tired

I moved heavy boxes up and down stairs..ALL DAY LONG. My legs are burning like a fucking bond fire and I'm so tired I can barely form full sentences. Of course I didn't have the heart to make my poor old mother lug the heavy boxes filled with her cookbooks...took 11 boxes to transport those little suckers. It's times like these when I wish that I was a real bitch.

My little fucker of a dog met another Lhasa Apso today...a female Lhasa Apso...and I think it confirmed our suspision...Oscar is gay. He doesn't like the female doggies. Think about it, he likes his doggy clothes way too much for his own good and he humps men.

I'm too tired to go on with this usless banter.

Buh bye.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Gmail

Is it just me or is the whole Gmail invite a harsh reminder of being a dork in elementary school?.. I've been wanting an account, and when I heard that it was finally up and running, I was informed that you must be invited to have an account. Oh really? Well to the numb-nut that decided that, I've got a special invitation for you to... SUCK MY DAD'S NUT!!

It's like in 5th grade where the cool kids were gonna play Red Rover Red Rover...and they decided who played...do you think I even once played Red Rover? Hell no!

Oh well, I got an invitation..hehehe.. y'all can contact me at chaellyboo@gmail.com ...rolls right off the tongue doesn't it?

Friday, August 12, 2005

Yummm..Miami Ink.

Never in my life have I been so turned on by men with tattoos.

Nice dreams will come my way tonight!

What's that smell?...Get back here you little shit.

I just woke up to the smell of shit dipped in rotten fish guts...My yeddi-of a dog was licking my face...And, NO I don't know how long he was doing it, in regards to my moms question on the phone when I told her. But that really doesn't seem to be of any relevance right now.

The extreme shock of it all must have been because I was caught off-guard. Normally it doesn't really bother me if my dog gives me a little suga' when he's in my lap, but I'm expecting it. I prepare by scrunching up my face in disgust and in hopes of sealing off all major portals on my face. Even after I washed it off, he easily could have gotten that tongue up my nose, in my ear, or even in the mouth! Blluugghh.

That little man whore has no sham I tell you, NONE!

I'm off to take a hot shower.

do a little 'suckling' today, it'll be good for ya.

Michaela

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Where are you funny people?

Anyone with a funny blog please let me know! I've only found like 3 funny ones.

Come out, come out wherever THE FUCK you are...lalala de dadada

Donate to the 'Get Me A Better Car' Fund

Oh isn't she a beauty...No, no she's not, she's a piece of shit! Actually, shit doesn't begin to describe the hell on greasy wheels my car has turned into.

I have horrible luck with cars...My sister seems to think I'm just ungrateful b/c the 2 cars I've had, were technically given to me by relatives. Meaning that I didn't have to buy my car..(like she did). Ya want to know why I practically got the cars for free?Because they suck fat ass!

My first car that I got from my rich (but very cheap and mean) bastard of an uncle...uncle B. He sold me a 1983 Chrysler LeBaron for $500. The car belonged to a dead client of his. Figures, that he would try and make a buck off his clients even after death and his niece...It was brown exterior with orange leather interior and had 72,000 miles. As an immature kid who at the time worked at A&W (colors..brown/orange) I thought I was the grand poo pa.

Now for a while the car was great, it had a computerized system in it, which apparently in the early 80's was a break-through in technology. Oh and by 'computerized system' I mean it would greet me when I opened the car door, it told me to buckle up when I turned the car on, and reminded me that the keys were still in the ignition after I turned the car off....all in a cheap robotical voice. Drunk people thought it was a trip.
I had the car through that summer, and when cold weather hit, it died, and would not come back to life...retract that, it would come back for a mere $2200...I kept my money, paid my respects, and moved on.

Then I borrowed my sisters car for a few monthes while she was away at college. Thanks Lydia! Then last year my grandma gave me her 1986 Mercury Lynx as a gift and as a way to help us out, since Lydia needed her car back. It was in great shape. No rust, only 50,000 miles on it, fairly clean under the hood...

It all seemed like destiny. It's total shit now! I just put (rather, my mom put) $400 into it and it didn't do a fucking thing! When in reverse and pressing on the break, it makes this God awful clunking sound, as if little yard gnomes are under there making horrid music. It constantly dies, and the little bitch insists on dying in rush hour traffic.

When in doubt...just sell it on eBay...that's what they say now-a-days, right?

Project of the day: Count the number of birth marks on your body.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Green Apple

My mom recently made an awful dish soap purchase at Sam's Club. She got Green Apple scented dish soap. What the FUCK? It's one thing to make candy and drinks 'green apple' flavor...but scented? What purpose does that serve except while scrubbing crusted shit-like nastiness off pots and pans to be slapped in the face with a sour/weed stench. Or maybe it is actually flavored and some numb-nut executive at the soap place thought that with all the small children getting into household cleaners it was about time to at least have the hazardous products taste good. Nobody likes the taste of flowers or cleanliness in their mouths... New advertisement...'Green Apple dishsoap, cuts through the strongest grease but now tastes like a refreshing jolly rancher".
And we've seriously got an 15 lb bottle of it. So it's sticking around for a while.

Make a mental note

Ladies and gentlemen...it's official. The dog likes Wheat Thins. He is 2 thumbs away from being a real live boy.

The History Behind Chaellyboo...

Some may have noticed that chaellyboo is the link to this site. What is chaellyboo? Is it vulgar french slang? I hope not. Is it the name of my third boob? no, but if I had a third, I might name it that. Well first off I should say that my mom is just a little (but still note-worthy) crazy. Chaellyboo was one of the many nicknames that she gave me in hopes of one day securing myself a comfy chez lounge in a therapists' office.

My name is Michaela and often as a young chicklet I was dubbed Chaelly. Somewhere along the way my mom added the boo. And so it became official, everyone called me Chaellyboo. It was between chaellyboo or http://www.poop-a-rina.blogspot.com . Be thankful!

Not all that interesting, but I thought you may like to know for later purposes.

Bite me, always,
Michaela

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Toilet paper & such...

Good movie...I should have figured I'd be wooed. I love John Cusack. He's so cute. I love that he just seems so cool. His snot is probably cool. I'd probably go see any movie with him in it even if it were...bad..I'm sorry, I'm tired that's the best I could come up with. LEAVE ME ALONE!

My sister has just informed me that I should mention the fact that we are going to be leaving soon for a 'midnight toilet paper run'. Because oh my sweet momma joe we're out of TP. My sister is afraid that my mom will have a meltdown tomorrow morning if on the off hand chance, she has to use the potty hole and is forced to use kleenex.

The Walmart community is gonna get a few laughs out of me tonight. I'm so gonna leave with a cart full of toilet paper.

Sweet toilet paper dreams

Must Love Dogs / Buying in Bulk

I'm going to see Must Love Dogs tonight and am questioning if it will be a waste of money. I'm cheap. I cut corners wherever possible. I'll risk my safety if it means I can get a good deal. Case and point? Movies are so fucking expensive now-a-days..$8.00 bucks for 1 movie...I normally don't go to movies, I just wait until someone I know buys or rents it on video then force them to let me borrow it. I'm only going tonight b.c. I haven't seen my friend Lindsay (HI LINDSAY!) in way too long. My sources are telling me that its pretty good. That's right people, I have sources.

I figure the reason I'm so cheap is a deep phsycological problem that has something to do with the fact that my mom only buys in bulk. She's been doing it since I was like 6. And she doesn't just buy a few things in bulk, it's everything. From frozen chicken in a 20 lb bag, to soy sauce in a tin gas can, to the 'family pack' of deodorant. We may not need 72 boxes of tampons, but hell in the long run it's probably a better deal and makes for great conversation with house guests. My mom: 'welcome to the house, toilet paper, feminine products and tissues are in the shed out back...help yourself".

What am I talking about, we never have house guests...

Say Nope to Dope

Our maintenance man stopped by today...if you don't know my maintenance man, look back at one of my first posts on this blog for the story on why he is a stupid stupid man. Well he stained our front door today, and me and my family are going to discover what it's like to all eat dinner together while high on fumes. With our luck it'll be the most pleasent dinner to date.

Insomnia Help

It's 5am in the Mornin' and I can't fucking sleep. (wow do I sound midwestern) I was awoken by my mother who has already left for the ol' job. Listen to me I sound like a hillbilly with no front teeth. I could never have a job that expected me to arrive by anytime earlier than 8...8:30am.

It's like the chicken pox. You get them once and then never again. Same goes for my inability to wake up for a job or school at 5 or 6am in the morning. My senior year of high school I worked the deli at a gas station from 4:45am - 7:30am then went to school.

After that experience I concluded that working before 8am is pointless, and there is no need in the world for it. I dub "Don't Condemn Work Before 8am!!!" for my protest sign.

These things are all reasons why I will probably end up on unemployment at some point in my life. Knock on wood.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Polo Shirt Freak

My dog is frantically chasing his rubber turkey leg toy making Chubaka like noises....all while wearing a red/white striped polo shirt.
Beat that....nut cases!

My arms numb, arm numb, narm numb, Naarrrmm

That was just great. NARM

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12-Step program for 'The Itch'?

Disclaimer: This is NOT, I repeat this is NOT about any disgusting diseases or anything worth not reading my blog any further in fear that you may either vomit or worse catch the non-existant disease.
Enjoy~

Over this past weekend, we had a very beautiful day here in Nebraska. It wasn't too hot, the sky was clear and there was an enjoyable cool breeze. So we did the only logical thing and turned off the air and opened the windows (mind you we have screens over our windows).

Well in several windows, the screening has holes from reasons that wouldn't surprise me because our house is a big fat piece of rented shit. Everything was just lovely that day because of the weather...so lovely that I sat down and read a book Lovely Bones (really good book!) the whole thing that day. Well I didn't finish it until like midnight, but whatever.

So I laid on my bed and read it, well come night time, I kept getting bitten by a mosquito in my own fucking room. Those little blood-sucking-disease-causing creatures must have been coming through a secret portal because I shut my window and brutally killed several with my bare hand. I ended up with 7 bites on one arm and 2 on my leg.

Then came the itching...and oh my God it was bad. You would have thought I was dying from a nasty case of gangrene...because I'm soo familiar with gangrene.... I couldn't stop itching...itch itch itch...itch!

After considering all my options....putting myself out of my misery...no too drastic for a few bites. Maybe masking the itch with pain, such as; paper cuts inbetween each toe, bamboo strips under the finger nails, or the ever so popular stabing of the eye with a spoon!

On my way to the kitchen for a spoon, I vagly remember someone telling me something about nail polish and mosquito bites. Not that I was paying much attention at the time, but enough to remember it when in a predicament of my own. So I thought I'd try it since the bathroom was on the way to the kitchen. I open the medicine cabinet to find a bottle of liquid bandage. This sparked my interest. I figured it would serve the same purpose of the nail polish, so I went for it. I lathered it on each bite and let it dry...just waiting to be let down. Oh but to the contrary, no more itching!

Ladies and gentlemen, insert a good night sleep *here*.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

A lesson well learned...

I constantly find myself fixated to the show Animal Cops on the Animal Planet. It really does break my heart to see animals have to suffer with some of the shit humans put them through. Although, I do find it to be an opportunity to teach my dog the many reasons why it pays to behave.

I know they say that dogs can't understand objects on the television, but I've caught Oscar staring down the ass of the big white female poodles on the Eukenuba dog show...oh yeah, he knows what he's seeing. So I know that he can see the dogs on the cop show. I always tell him that 'he could have ended up with that crack whore with the 200 cats and 30 toy dogs living in their own fecies...but no, he got lucky and ended up with the one lady that if left with the option, would easily let her daughter starve over him...lucky little bastard...be grateful...

I guess I can't get to pissed at some of the shit he pulls. When he was about a year old, and he phased out of the it-doesn't-matter-what-you-do-cuz-you're-still-so-cute stage I found it humorous to tease him. Don't send me hate mail, because I don't really do it anymore, but either way he thinks of it all as a game.

Today I bought my mom a car window sticker that says "I *heart* My Lhasa Apso" and in the middle is the profile of a lhasa apso. So now, just in case my mom wasn't clear enough with everyone about how much she loves Oscar , she let every damn passing vehicle know it too. It's like the overly proud soccer mom that had the white soccer ball sticker on the driver (left) rear end window. For the kids that weren't athletic, you hated those moms, but you were secretly jealous...because the only symbol of pride your mother could paste on to her pontiac sedan was a 'couch' or a 'bowl of popcorn'. I really hope that wasn't just me, because if so, then I take it all back.

I love you Oscar

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Building a fort is really tempting right now...

My living room is officially in boxes. The way the boxes are strategically placed, makes me want to run around like a 5 year old off it's ADHD medication! We're supposedly taking possession of the house on the 12th, which means I need to haul some ass...big time.

I'm eating carrots right now, and I'm trying to imagine myself eating a bowl of ice cream...It's not going over very well.