I'm sitting in my office contemplating going and smoking a cigarette before my conference call at 11:00am.
On Friday afternoon Hell had a party here in Omaha and left a pretty rediculous mess for us to clean up after.
Our neighborhood got hit rather hard by the 70+ mph wind storm. 75 Ft trees ripped right out of the cement like weeds pulled from the garden.
My home was one of the lucky few in the area that did not have any structural damage.
It always amazes me what mother nature can really do. And lately she has been proving herself quite often. Between the floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and such, I have no doubt that she will bitch slap a city of 450,000 without thinking twice.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
12:54pm
Uggg why does the FA Department have to be so damn great?
Because I was just forced to par-take in a "huddle" where the admissions team bought bagels and coffee for the FA team b/c they're "soo amazing and helpful".
I don't care if they're growing a money tree back there and handing it out for free! I'm on a diet and I don't want to sit and watch you guys stuff yourselves with yummy Carbohydrate packed rings of heaven.
I'm only a little bitter about it. The Vegetarian Hoodia is helping me cope.
Because I was just forced to par-take in a "huddle" where the admissions team bought bagels and coffee for the FA team b/c they're "soo amazing and helpful".
I don't care if they're growing a money tree back there and handing it out for free! I'm on a diet and I don't want to sit and watch you guys stuff yourselves with yummy Carbohydrate packed rings of heaven.
I'm only a little bitter about it. The Vegetarian Hoodia is helping me cope.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
7:57am
I'm having a Gold day. I have gold earrings on, a gold sweater and ..get ready for this one....I have GOLD SANDALS ON!!!
I know you're jealous!
All I need now is a gold stapler to match everything...
I know you're jealous!
All I need now is a gold stapler to match everything...
Friday, June 20, 2008
6:00am
I've lost a total of 9 lbs!
Whoot to me!!!
Happy Friday. I'm half awake right now getting ready for a day filled with run rate charts, expense reports, and chain smoking....
Whoot to me!!!
Happy Friday. I'm half awake right now getting ready for a day filled with run rate charts, expense reports, and chain smoking....
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
11:54am
I pee alot now.
Aren't you glad that you know that now? I thought you'd like that one.
Anyways, I drink alot of water during the day now, so therefore I pee alot during my day at work. Me and the end stall in the Ladies Restroom have bonded.
When I'm on a toilet I have to redirect my attention from the fact that my ass is touching a seat that MANY other naked asses have touched...So the other day I was looking at the door to the stall and I noticed a company logo on the metal hinge and lock that keeps you private from the rest of the bathroom.
The company is called "Hiny Hiders".
I would give both arms and both legs to work for a company called Hiny Hiders. Could you imagine introducing yourself to people. "Hi my name is Frank, I'm the CEO of Hiny Hiders"...
Good stuff.
I've lost 7 lbs.
Aren't you glad that you know that now? I thought you'd like that one.
Anyways, I drink alot of water during the day now, so therefore I pee alot during my day at work. Me and the end stall in the Ladies Restroom have bonded.
When I'm on a toilet I have to redirect my attention from the fact that my ass is touching a seat that MANY other naked asses have touched...So the other day I was looking at the door to the stall and I noticed a company logo on the metal hinge and lock that keeps you private from the rest of the bathroom.
The company is called "Hiny Hiders".
I would give both arms and both legs to work for a company called Hiny Hiders. Could you imagine introducing yourself to people. "Hi my name is Frank, I'm the CEO of Hiny Hiders"...
Good stuff.
I've lost 7 lbs.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
3:13pm
Day 2 of diet.
I have not killed anyone yet. I've come close, but I've resisted the urge. That's called will power.
I feel better about myself already. I feel like I'm moving forward, where as before I was just in this constant state of blah. I don't want to jinx this new found energy, because in the past when I have done that, I end up falling off the wagon and landing on a box of ho ho's.
I always thought that I wasn't one of those over weight people that obsessed about food. I know you're laughing at that last sentence because it makes no sense, but just humor me by pretending that you know there is a point to it. When I'm not on a diet I always think to myself that when the day comes that I want to lose weight I will be able to control my diet with out any difficulty. Well now that I'm on a diet I understand why obesity is a disease. I look at food and I want it. I don't just think to myself "oh that looks good, I wish I could try it". We're talking, I'm mentally having to hold myself back from eating everything in sight. I constantly find my conscience trying to rationalize eating a bag of skittles or a bag of chips.
I know what this means for me and my future. It means alot of effort and disipline on my part, Physically AND mentally. I'm always going to crave certain food. I'm a firm believer that even when on a diet, one should be able to have something that's not "diet food" once in a while. The important thing is to always control the portions.
At this point I'm working on cleaning out my body of alot of things I used to eat. Fast food, candy, pop, alcohol, junk food....I'm also strictly following portion sizes. Eventually I would love to try giving up alot of the crap they put in processed foods. For now, I'm only taking on as much as I can handle.
I can see a steady path ahead of me and it exciting and scary and CRAZY all at once...
I have not killed anyone yet. I've come close, but I've resisted the urge. That's called will power.
I feel better about myself already. I feel like I'm moving forward, where as before I was just in this constant state of blah. I don't want to jinx this new found energy, because in the past when I have done that, I end up falling off the wagon and landing on a box of ho ho's.
I always thought that I wasn't one of those over weight people that obsessed about food. I know you're laughing at that last sentence because it makes no sense, but just humor me by pretending that you know there is a point to it. When I'm not on a diet I always think to myself that when the day comes that I want to lose weight I will be able to control my diet with out any difficulty. Well now that I'm on a diet I understand why obesity is a disease. I look at food and I want it. I don't just think to myself "oh that looks good, I wish I could try it". We're talking, I'm mentally having to hold myself back from eating everything in sight. I constantly find my conscience trying to rationalize eating a bag of skittles or a bag of chips.
I know what this means for me and my future. It means alot of effort and disipline on my part, Physically AND mentally. I'm always going to crave certain food. I'm a firm believer that even when on a diet, one should be able to have something that's not "diet food" once in a while. The important thing is to always control the portions.
At this point I'm working on cleaning out my body of alot of things I used to eat. Fast food, candy, pop, alcohol, junk food....I'm also strictly following portion sizes. Eventually I would love to try giving up alot of the crap they put in processed foods. For now, I'm only taking on as much as I can handle.
I can see a steady path ahead of me and it exciting and scary and CRAZY all at once...
Monday, June 16, 2008
8:38am
Birds flying high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin' free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done, that's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world for me
For meStars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' so good
I feel so good
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good
Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin' free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done, that's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world for me
For meStars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' so good
I feel so good
Sunday, June 15, 2008
6:23pm
Well I had a completely different day then I expected to have. I did not go shopping for hidden treasures...well not exactly.
My friend Steph won two tickets to the College World Series...RIGHT HERE in Omaha. She invited me and I was so excited to get to go. It ended up being a beautiful hot and sunny Nebraska day. We get there about 10 minutes into the game. We find our seats, our very good seats. They were right behind homeplate, which is almost close enough to pinch the catchers butt.
I'm a big girl, and Steph is the mini me version. We go to sit down, and guess what, it's an EXTREMELY tight fit for my Wide Load of an ass to get into the seat. I felt like all eyes were one me and my ass that wasn't wanting to fit in the stadium seat. I did what I always do when it comes to my weight...I made fun of myself. I joked with Steph throughout the game about how I'd be lucky to be able to get my ass out with out lifting the whole row of connected seats up with me.
We joked all the way home about it. I joked with my mom about it. Then after Steph and my sister left, I snapped at my mom. It was over something silly...probably about the way she was blinking her eyes, I dunno, but I snapped. Then after 10 minutes of her tippy toeing around me in fear of further pissing me off, I apologized for being crabby. I tried to say that I had a fun time but that it ended up being a horrible day. I couldn't get two words out without breaking down in tears. She asked what was wrong and I told her that I think the FINAL string had snapped. I am done with living my life this way. I couldn't even go out to a ball game without feeling ashamed of every inch of my body. She came to my side and let me cry on her shoulder. I was totally expecting her to be her usual self and insert a comment about how I need to lose weight and be thin.
She said nothing. She just let me cry.
Then she finally said something ....she told me that I was perfect.
My mom has just changed my life.
I love you mom.
My friend Steph won two tickets to the College World Series...RIGHT HERE in Omaha. She invited me and I was so excited to get to go. It ended up being a beautiful hot and sunny Nebraska day. We get there about 10 minutes into the game. We find our seats, our very good seats. They were right behind homeplate, which is almost close enough to pinch the catchers butt.
I'm a big girl, and Steph is the mini me version. We go to sit down, and guess what, it's an EXTREMELY tight fit for my Wide Load of an ass to get into the seat. I felt like all eyes were one me and my ass that wasn't wanting to fit in the stadium seat. I did what I always do when it comes to my weight...I made fun of myself. I joked with Steph throughout the game about how I'd be lucky to be able to get my ass out with out lifting the whole row of connected seats up with me.
We joked all the way home about it. I joked with my mom about it. Then after Steph and my sister left, I snapped at my mom. It was over something silly...probably about the way she was blinking her eyes, I dunno, but I snapped. Then after 10 minutes of her tippy toeing around me in fear of further pissing me off, I apologized for being crabby. I tried to say that I had a fun time but that it ended up being a horrible day. I couldn't get two words out without breaking down in tears. She asked what was wrong and I told her that I think the FINAL string had snapped. I am done with living my life this way. I couldn't even go out to a ball game without feeling ashamed of every inch of my body. She came to my side and let me cry on her shoulder. I was totally expecting her to be her usual self and insert a comment about how I need to lose weight and be thin.
She said nothing. She just let me cry.
Then she finally said something ....she told me that I was perfect.
My mom has just changed my life.
I love you mom.
10:10am
Yesterday was pretty close to the perfect day.
And for this family that means it would have been mediocre for a more normal family, but for us, it was a day that you take LOTS of pictures because it probably won't happen again for a few years. I don't mind, it keeps us on our toes. I took ZERO pictures, because I'm lazy like that on perfectly sunny days.
Then...yes, there's always a 'then' or a 'but' or for those class acts it's 'however'..the other shoe drops. My mother whom I love more than anything in this world got into one of her moods. It's not so much a mood as it is a judgeful scowl that she starts to emit. I can't explain my mother and "the way that she is". It's something that you would have to live with her forseveral years a day and you would understand what I'm talking about.
My mother has seemed to give up on her independence...something she used to pride herself on. She always resented my father because he lived a very spoiled, upscale life when he was younger. A far cry from the life my mother had when she was an adolescent. She has thrown the towel in and is perfectly content with having her children help support her.
Now I know how the life cycle goes, have a fun carefree childhood, parents raise you, then when you grow up you make good choices and start a life of your own, get married, have a family of your own, then take care of your old crippled parents who got you to where you are at that point. I understand that cycle and I'm not appealing it by any means, but my mother is far from crippled and I am far from being at the point in my life where I can happily take care of her.
I know that my mother wants the best for her 3 girls. I also know that she does not want to let us go. Let us go in the sense that if we want to travel or take on more than what we can chew at times financially, or choose a career path that doesn't pay out as much as a doctor or lawyer.
My oldest sister Lauren was here yesterday for the near record breaking perfect day. That evening she was sitting on the floor in my mom's room talking to my mother. Lauren had brought up a topic that apparently Lauren has been giving a lot of thought to. She told my mother that she wanted to pay off her debt in the next several years and then maybe move overseas. My mother of course made fun of Lauren by referencing the time when Lauren spent a whole summer in Germany acting as a nanny for my Aunt's 2 year old son and called home every day crying about how much she missed home. This did not sit well with my sister.
Now will Lauren ever move overseas? Lauren, will you? Probably not, but it's a noble dream to have and who knows, it may happen. Lauren was more pissed off that my mother would rather make fun of Lauren then listen to her idea and support her in her choices. Lauren does like to take things to the extreme so she became very upset and lets be honest, there was a split second where the world may have come to a screaming halt over this issue. Then of course it was a perfect opportunity for Lauren to leave the scene dramatically. She left mad as she secretly enjoys to do.
Lauren, don't be mad at me, I'm just laying it all down, because I had an epiphany last night after you left angry. How can my mother expect me to ever succeed if she won't cut the chain. I can't grow as a person if I always have to be by her side. She wants greatness out of her girls, and believe me I want greatness for myself, but how can that be done when she doesn't seem to want us to try to achieve our dreams?
I am going to shop for hidden treasures at the goodwill and then I am going to spend another day roasting in the sun!
And for this family that means it would have been mediocre for a more normal family, but for us, it was a day that you take LOTS of pictures because it probably won't happen again for a few years. I don't mind, it keeps us on our toes. I took ZERO pictures, because I'm lazy like that on perfectly sunny days.
Then...yes, there's always a 'then' or a 'but' or for those class acts it's 'however'..the other shoe drops. My mother whom I love more than anything in this world got into one of her moods. It's not so much a mood as it is a judgeful scowl that she starts to emit. I can't explain my mother and "the way that she is". It's something that you would have to live with her for
My mother has seemed to give up on her independence...something she used to pride herself on. She always resented my father because he lived a very spoiled, upscale life when he was younger. A far cry from the life my mother had when she was an adolescent. She has thrown the towel in and is perfectly content with having her children help support her.
Now I know how the life cycle goes, have a fun carefree childhood, parents raise you, then when you grow up you make good choices and start a life of your own, get married, have a family of your own, then take care of your old crippled parents who got you to where you are at that point. I understand that cycle and I'm not appealing it by any means, but my mother is far from crippled and I am far from being at the point in my life where I can happily take care of her.
I know that my mother wants the best for her 3 girls. I also know that she does not want to let us go. Let us go in the sense that if we want to travel or take on more than what we can chew at times financially, or choose a career path that doesn't pay out as much as a doctor or lawyer.
My oldest sister Lauren was here yesterday for the near record breaking perfect day. That evening she was sitting on the floor in my mom's room talking to my mother. Lauren had brought up a topic that apparently Lauren has been giving a lot of thought to. She told my mother that she wanted to pay off her debt in the next several years and then maybe move overseas. My mother of course made fun of Lauren by referencing the time when Lauren spent a whole summer in Germany acting as a nanny for my Aunt's 2 year old son and called home every day crying about how much she missed home. This did not sit well with my sister.
Now will Lauren ever move overseas? Lauren, will you? Probably not, but it's a noble dream to have and who knows, it may happen. Lauren was more pissed off that my mother would rather make fun of Lauren then listen to her idea and support her in her choices. Lauren does like to take things to the extreme so she became very upset and lets be honest, there was a split second where the world may have come to a screaming halt over this issue. Then of course it was a perfect opportunity for Lauren to leave the scene dramatically. She left mad as she secretly enjoys to do.
Lauren, don't be mad at me, I'm just laying it all down, because I had an epiphany last night after you left angry. How can my mother expect me to ever succeed if she won't cut the chain. I can't grow as a person if I always have to be by her side. She wants greatness out of her girls, and believe me I want greatness for myself, but how can that be done when she doesn't seem to want us to try to achieve our dreams?
I am going to shop for hidden treasures at the goodwill and then I am going to spend another day roasting in the sun!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
2:10pm
I just ate THEE BEST tiny serving of lemon ice cream. It was a creamy, tart, refreshing tease for my desperately seeking taste buds.
I love you Dundee Ice Creamery.
I love you Dundee Ice Creamery.
12:37pm
Saturday Checklist:
1. Wake up
2. Get coffee in my system...STAT
3. Avoid the temptation of going back to sleep
4. Go to gym and do more than just fall asleep on the bike
5. Celebrate getting healthy by sucking on a "Satan stick"
6. Withdrawal money from my checking account and cry as I have to hand it to my mother
7. Put off mowing the yard
8. Go to the store and buy essentials to get through the day
*milk
*bread
*tequila
*limes
*dish soap
*inflatable pool to fill up and lounge in
*tampons
*aspirin for tomorrow
9. Refuse to do anything else for the day
1. Wake up
2. Get coffee in my system...STAT
3. Avoid the temptation of going back to sleep
4. Go to gym and do more than just fall asleep on the bike
5. Celebrate getting healthy by sucking on a "Satan stick"
6. Withdrawal money from my checking account and cry as I have to hand it to my mother
7. Put off mowing the yard
8. Go to the store and buy essentials to get through the day
*milk
*bread
*tequila
*limes
*dish soap
*inflatable pool to fill up and lounge in
*tampons
*aspirin for tomorrow
9. Refuse to do anything else for the day
Friday, June 13, 2008
8:46pm
I just got home from the Mai Tai Lounge.
Rule number 1 at the Mai Tai Lounge is a max. limit of 2 Mai Tai's....Oh yeah baby!
Rule number 2 at the Mai Tai Lounge is to abide by rule 1 or else risk making a fool of your drunken self.
My 2 older MUCH wiser sisters are arguing with one another...They are one bitch slap away from flushing their pride down the toilet.
I love that my sister who recently quit smoking, refers to cigarettes as "Satan sticks"....I'm ashamed to say that I wrap my lips around Satan sticks daily...actually it kind of sounds sexy.
It's 8:51pm and I am ready for bed. THAT my friends is the effect that Mai Tai's at the Mai Tai Lounge have on this voluptuous chick!
Good night.
Rule number 1 at the Mai Tai Lounge is a max. limit of 2 Mai Tai's....Oh yeah baby!
Rule number 2 at the Mai Tai Lounge is to abide by rule 1 or else risk making a fool of your drunken self.
My 2 older MUCH wiser sisters are arguing with one another...They are one bitch slap away from flushing their pride down the toilet.
I love that my sister who recently quit smoking, refers to cigarettes as "Satan sticks"....I'm ashamed to say that I wrap my lips around Satan sticks daily...actually it kind of sounds sexy.
It's 8:51pm and I am ready for bed. THAT my friends is the effect that Mai Tai's at the Mai Tai Lounge have on this voluptuous chick!
Good night.
4:16pm
You know it's raining too much when....
One of your co-workers nearly drowns after she drove her car into a ditch....
Way too much damn rain!!!
One of your co-workers nearly drowns after she drove her car into a ditch....
Way too much damn rain!!!
2:00pm
I'm pretty sure I've had almost a whole bag of sour jolly ranchers.
It's possible that my saliva is permenantly sour fruit flavored...
It's possible that my saliva is permenantly sour fruit flavored...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
3:12pm
One of my 'things' that I do is while i'm sitting at my desk, I write my name in cursive over and over and over and over...again. Looks like a kid that got in trouble at school and had to write in a notebook for 10 pages.
Maybe it's my conscience's way of saying "ya well guess what lady? YOU'RE IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME...SO WRITE!!!"
I ate BK for lunch today and I'm seriously regretting it now. At no point is it reasonable to drink a 52 oz. cup of Dr Pepper...In one sitting! I don't care who you are.
Maybe it's my conscience's way of saying "ya well guess what lady? YOU'RE IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME...SO WRITE!!!"
I ate BK for lunch today and I'm seriously regretting it now. At no point is it reasonable to drink a 52 oz. cup of Dr Pepper...In one sitting! I don't care who you are.
9:11am
From Spinning Girl...I missed doing these!
Rambling:: Rambo
Magnetic :: XMEN
Again! :: Give me a kiss on the cheek and i said DO IT!
Acoustic :: Folk
Mahogany :: Wine
Promises :: Rehab
Ill fitting :: perfect
Sublime :: love
Poop :: nice
Disoriented :: CRAZY
Rambling:: Rambo
Magnetic :: XMEN
Again! :: Give me a kiss on the cheek and i said DO IT!
Acoustic :: Folk
Mahogany :: Wine
Promises :: Rehab
Ill fitting :: perfect
Sublime :: love
Poop :: nice
Disoriented :: CRAZY
8:23am
I woke up late, my hair would not do what I wanted it to do, some jackass on the interstate thought it would be funny to drive 40 mph, I had to park way in the back of the parking lot, my office door magically got locked and MY KEY WOULDN'T OPEN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't even want to know if it can get any worse....
I don't even want to know if it can get any worse....
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
5:49pm
What NOT to do...
Go to your sisters new apartment and take a poop...right before she's planning on taking a shower.
whoops
Go to your sisters new apartment and take a poop...right before she's planning on taking a shower.
whoops
4:27pm
Dude, what don't you get? The 915 report is due at 9:15am...I'm pretty sure the only way to make it easier for you is to re-name it the 'dueat9:15inthemorningmondaythrufridayuntilyoudie' report.
And NO I'm not renaming it to that!!! It won't fit on my desktop.
Gotta love people from Texas. I really want to reference a certain president right now...I will bit my tongue.
And NO I'm not renaming it to that!!! It won't fit on my desktop.
Gotta love people from Texas. I really want to reference a certain president right now...I will bit my tongue.
3:41pm
My Green LG "Rumor" is supposed to be Eco friendly. It's a cell phone...up until like 2 years ago, scientists said that they emit nasty shit that can cause brain cancer. What a lovely change of pace...my phone is going to save the planet. Or do I have to upgrade my plan for that?
3:38pm
Some would say I'm just down right lazy, I think I'm resourceful. Let me set the scene for you;
I'm sitting in my office working on some reports and putting together an order for some fancy business cards when I get a horrible itch on my back. Now, I'm a big girl so my limbs are not proportionate with the circumference of my body...(ie. I'm too fat to wrap my arms around myself!) I couldn't reach the itch. I tried rubbing my back along the back of my chair, but with 3 layers of clothing on my body and a chair that's made to be soft and comfy, it did not solve the problem.
Oh, yeah...Once I laid my eyes on those scissors, I knew the solution.
Right as i'm in the middle of relieving my itch...one of my bosses walks by.
It was SO worth it!
I'm sitting in my office working on some reports and putting together an order for some fancy business cards when I get a horrible itch on my back. Now, I'm a big girl so my limbs are not proportionate with the circumference of my body...(ie. I'm too fat to wrap my arms around myself!) I couldn't reach the itch. I tried rubbing my back along the back of my chair, but with 3 layers of clothing on my body and a chair that's made to be soft and comfy, it did not solve the problem.
Oh, yeah...Once I laid my eyes on those scissors, I knew the solution.
Right as i'm in the middle of relieving my itch...one of my bosses walks by.
It was SO worth it!
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