Day 2 of diet.
I have not killed anyone yet. I've come close, but I've resisted the urge. That's called will power.
I feel better about myself already. I feel like I'm moving forward, where as before I was just in this constant state of blah. I don't want to jinx this new found energy, because in the past when I have done that, I end up falling off the wagon and landing on a box of ho ho's.
I always thought that I wasn't one of those over weight people that obsessed about food. I know you're laughing at that last sentence because it makes no sense, but just humor me by pretending that you know there is a point to it. When I'm not on a diet I always think to myself that when the day comes that I want to lose weight I will be able to control my diet with out any difficulty. Well now that I'm on a diet I understand why obesity is a disease. I look at food and I want it. I don't just think to myself "oh that looks good, I wish I could try it". We're talking, I'm mentally having to hold myself back from eating everything in sight. I constantly find my conscience trying to rationalize eating a bag of skittles or a bag of chips.
I know what this means for me and my future. It means alot of effort and disipline on my part, Physically AND mentally. I'm always going to crave certain food. I'm a firm believer that even when on a diet, one should be able to have something that's not "diet food" once in a while. The important thing is to always control the portions.
At this point I'm working on cleaning out my body of alot of things I used to eat. Fast food, candy, pop, alcohol, junk food....I'm also strictly following portion sizes. Eventually I would love to try giving up alot of the crap they put in processed foods. For now, I'm only taking on as much as I can handle.
I can see a steady path ahead of me and it exciting and scary and CRAZY all at once...
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