Monday, July 25, 2005

When in doubt, just add more packing tape

So if there is one thing I could not do for a living it would be to become a professional mover.
I really don't think I could bring my self to do it. I've moved homes twice in my life, and that was two times too many. I praise all you prof. movers out there, send me your address and I'll mail you some cookies. It's the least I can do.
I'm only on my fifth box of crap and already I am so over it all. I probably shouldn't have started with the China cabinet because everything it contains is so fragile and important that you can't just throw it in a box and call it a day.
I'll be lucky if I can fit everything from the c.c. alone into 20 boxes at the rate my mother has me going. She insists that everything be wrapped in at least 2 layers of newspaper, spaced with 2 balled up pieces of newspaper, and to top it all off, she doesn't want any of the boxes to be heavy.
So if I do exactly as she asks, I can only fit like 4 cups and 4 plates per box. Note: My mothers china is for 12 place settings, and each setting has roughly 6 pieces not including the other crystal shit that has sat and collected dust for the past 20 years. What middle class midwesterners use decanters and brandy snifters? Not us!
Conclusion: My mom is crazy and God help the movers.

"Hey Hey Hey Hey, This is a place of business! We are trying to get some work done in here and we don't need you just barging... wait, I'm saying it and I don't even buy it!"
Karen Walker, Will & Grace