Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Are You Kidding Me With This Shit?

So, My mother just bought a new home, but at the moment we are in a rented home, and our maintenance man is really dumb. I normally don't just assume people are dumb, and certainly wouldn't say it to their face, but he's been our maintenance man for 5 years, and...he's dumb.
He's a very nice and funny dumb man, but when we have to depend on him to fix things in our home, the funny and nice characteristics don't really make a big difference. You're probably thinking I'm a bitch right now, so I'll just name a couple of the not so smart things he's done:

1) A few monthes back our landlord decided to have new linoleum put in our kitchen. So the maintenance man came over and over about a 5 day period of time he pulled up the old floor, measured everything out, then laid the new floor down. Sounds simple enough, right? Well unfortunately a very important step was left out...GLUING the linoleum DOWN!
How can you forget this step? He brought the cement paste with him, and even opened it as if he was getting ready to use it. This leads me to the second act of dumbness he has committed.

2) So as I said, he did bring the cement paste that he was supposed to use to glue down the floor which by the way is a powder that you mix with water. This powder comes in a really fat version of a milk carton. On the side of the box in very large font is a warning that states if inhaled may cause LUNG CANCER!
So he leaves it OPEN on our kitchen counter!! Am I the only one that is extremely disturbed by that? When I asked him the following day why he left the cement box open on our counter, he says "well i needed it for today, so I just didn't put it back in the truck...makes for one less thing to lug in and out of here everyday".....Hmmm lug one more thing in and out, or risk giving your bosses clients cancer of the fucking lungs?? I mean it's a box the size of a basketball to fit in the truck, it's not like it's an elephant...trust me it'll fit!
So now anytime I'm in pain, I panic that I have lung cancer...even if i get a charley horse, I immediately assume that it's lung cancer...oh, I'll never be the same.
Conclusion: Dumb people should not make a living out of repairing things for other people.

On to better things.

What ever happened to Hollywood Squares? I loved that show... good times..good times.

Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation? Rental Car Agent: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars. Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here. That's why you have the reservation. Rental Car Agent: I think I know why we have reservations. Jerry: I don't think you do. You see, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.
- Seinfeld