LaLa-Land

Educated Guesses

2011-10-01T06:33:00.003-05:00

Sherry: Do you think she's a vegan?

Me: Why would you say that?

Sherry: Because she's skinny and she drives a Prius....

God I LOVE stereotyping!!

Oh and FYI

2011-09-30T15:20:00.001-05:00

If it weren't already crystal clear....

she's blonde.

Yeah, I know, right!

Close but still too far

2011-09-30T14:11:00.002-05:00

My coworker on her newly panty hose covered legs, "Look, I have Twilight legs....you know cuz they look like vampire skin..."

Me, "Try more like Golden Girls legs."

To my lovely coworker...

2011-09-29T12:31:00.000-05:00

"You really need to tone down the perfume...the backroom is really starting to smell like Whore."

Why a Safe Word is an excellant idea

2011-09-29T10:32:00.004-05:00

How about Bandmaster....

CITY, Iowa -- An Iowa City woman has been charged with misdemeanor domestic abuse, accused of hitting her boyfriend because he wouldn't have sex with her.
Police were sent to the house late Monday night after a report about a female out of control.
Her boyfriend told officers that Melissa Minarsich had struck him a few times and ripped a storm door off the house.
He said she became enraged when he refused to have sex.
Police said Minarsich told officers that her boyfriend's account was accurate.
Officers report that Minarsich's speech was slurred and she smelled of alcohol.
A public phone listing for Minarsich could not be found. Online court records don't list the name of her attorney.

Read more: http://www.ketv.com/news/29326845/detail.html#ixzz1ZMF0qB8S

Inventory

2010-12-29T09:09:00.002-06:00

Homeless looking man with a briefcase picking through half smoked cigarette butts from the public ashtray outside my work...it's like a kid in a candy store.

prickly blessings

2010-12-28T13:35:00.002-06:00

I'm officially unwillingly growing a go-tee on my chin...yet another wonderful detail of pregnancy.

No title needed

2010-12-28T13:21:00.002-06:00

So I come and go here as I please apparently....Gonna try and get back to my blogging roots.

Food blog

2010-03-22T17:39:00.000-05:00

Hello!

Did that just happen?

2010-03-21T15:09:00.002-05:00

Okay, so again I went absent for months with not a shred of decency to stop by and see that people ACTUALLY started reading my inane banter. And yes, actual real people not robots of the dark internet blog world, actual people.

I think I just felt a swift kick in the ass to make this little thing my baby again....

Soo where am I?

Well I fell of the weightloss wagon over the holidays and put on about 20 lbs which put me at around 280 lbs...ermm okay more like 286 but I like to round down! So feeling like shit I finally stepped it into gear about 3 months ago and I'm sitting at 255 lbs as of this morning. Which is a grand total of 106 pounds since January of 2009. Watch out people cuz this is only the beginning, I have alot more to lose and I plan on bitching about sore muscles and gross old people I see at the gym!

Aside from weightloss I am also a culinary student at Metro Community College's Institute for the Culinary Arts here in Omaha, NE. I know, I know....fat girl going to school for food? Are yer CRAZY? Probably but I love to cook and I love to let my creativity and passion flow through food.

This semester marks the beginning of the actual culinary courses which is uber exciting for me! In my Orientation course we have to create a blog and use it as a portal for homework assignments, so this blog will be moonlighting as a sassy culinary review blog. I have to review a book, a few restaurants, document through pictures and instructional blogging a meal that I cook at home, so it should be interesting.

I don't like to get cheesy, but at one point this blog was theraputic for me, it helped me get my feelings out at a really difficult, dark time in my life and somewhere along the way it healed some old wounds and then I nonchalantly pushed it aside for quite sometime. Still, I've never been able to delete it, its a safety blanket in alot of ways for me. Plus I can make fun of stupid people whenever I want!

So, I'm gonna give it another go, and see what pointless verbal diarrhea I can come up with.

Cheers!

Week....400??

2009-10-21T21:40:00.001-05:00

Yeah...I've been abscent for awhile...so long that I filled the void with losing 100 lbs. Abso-fuckin-lutely!! I weigh in now at 261 lbs.

Weigh In: Week 4

2009-02-02T10:00:00.002-06:00

This week was a good one. It was filled with positive choices and lacked temptations. I went out to dinner, ate at a friends house and even forgot my meal for work one night...and I managed to make smart choices and get through it.

So what is the dreaded number at this week??

342.4

One thing in particular that I've noticed myself watching out for is my fat intake. I've never paid much attention to the fat grams...only calories and sodium...and sometimes carb. But a friend ofmine is on a diet as well and her doctor told her no more then 25 grams of fat a day. Out of curiousity I started to look at what I was consuming and I can really see a difference in what I eat. You just don't realize how much fat is in ALMOST everything.

Phlegm..Party of one?

2009-01-31T17:32:00.002-06:00

So thank God for the Zpack! I started feeling better the next day once on that.

I felt great this week, but now I'm losing my voice again, and I feel like I have a tumor the size of a golf ball imbedded in the back of my throat. That can't be a good sign.

The diet is going great! Last night I went out to eat with Steph. We went to Hector's at 5pm and waited for what seemed like 3 hours so that we could just sit and spoon the yummy salsa into our mouthes. Yes, it's THAT good!

We both behaved ourselves...erm considering we are BOTH on diets (right, Miss I crave gas station burgers when awake in the morning). We shared one basket of chips with lots of delicious fresh salsa. For dinner I had a taco salad with grilled chicken. When asked what they offer for fat free or low fat dressing the skinny bitch that possibly graduated in my class says that they only have fat free Italian. IF I WANTED ITALIAN DRESSING I WOULD BE AT OLIVE GARDEN...I ended up getting some regular ranch on the side, but didn't even end up using it. The salsa was so good I just used more of that for dressing. I ate about half of the salad then tossed the rest. Water to drink!

I was proud of myself. It's a relief to know that I'm at the stage in my diet where I don't consider myself a binge risk. Nothing worse then having to ask your best friend if she would be willing to throw herself in between me and a slice of cheesecake... if it came to that. I'm pretty sure she would, but also pretty sure that she would refrain from being seen in public with me afterwards.

No one said it was easy to be a good friend!!

Weigh In: Week 3

2009-01-26T11:35:00.004-06:00

So I'm a bit disappointed with how little I lost this week...

346.4

I know even a little loss is a good loss and if I look back at the week and ponder where it could have gone wrong...The fact that I was on my death bed for 3 days with a sinus infection could have a little something to do with it. I sucked on a lot of cough drops in those 3 days. But I didn't eat anything that I normally wouldn't on my diet...in fact I barely ate anything because I felt like shit. So that really throws me for a loop.

I know I need to pick up the pace on the exercising. I also know that I am using this crazy work schedule that they have me on for the next month as an excuse for not going to the gym. Shame on me.

I am determined to shine this week!!!!!!

Wish me luck!!

Music Moment

2009-01-22T13:57:00.001-06:00

Laura Marling....

I love her voice, it's so ecclectic.

Of Course!

2009-01-22T09:42:00.001-06:00

The is an unwelcome feeling in the back of my throat.. My guess is strep, let's hope I'm wrong.

FUCK!

Video Moment

2009-01-19T11:42:00.002-06:00

I don't know what's better; Matt's impersonation or David Letterman's laugh!! I love them both!

Weigh In: Week 2

2009-01-19T09:15:00.005-06:00

Today marks week 2 of my diet.

Let me start by saying that I am OFFICIALLY on a diet. I've made it through the first week of hell. It wasn't so bad, it's just alot to get used to. As they say; old habits die hard. I was always one of those people that ate out of bordom. So at home I always sat and ate snacks at the computer, while at work I would munch on fried deli food. I've had to find other ways to fill that void. It's pretty easy at home to do, because I'm not home all that much. I'm pulling 60 hour work weeks from now until God only knows when because my boss is having back surgery today. Out of her whole staff she trusts me and the assistant manager...

Which leaves me with the void at work. This past week was difficult, but I keep reminding myself that if I eat that burrito, it's going to make a home for itself on my ass and I will have to work 3 times as hard to get it to pack up and leave. I keep myself busy with cleaning and organizing the store...not just to take my mind of food but also to try to make up for the fact that I'm not exercising as much as I should because I'm pulling so many hours. I try and stay at a fast pace to work up a sweat...plus I constantly find myself doing butt crunches...despite the fact that I know customers think I'm try to pass a monster fart discretely.

Now the fun part.

I weighed myself first thing this morning...erm, after I went to the bathroom and I'm happy to say that I weigh in at [insert drum roll]:

348.6

The hole to China

2009-01-19T05:11:00.002-06:00

The pot hole in the middle of the parking lot at my work is about ready to swollow the building whole... I'm starting to worry...I thiink it has a plan, because everyday it gets bigger and bigger...

World domination??

Fiber Overdose

2009-01-17T20:09:00.002-06:00

They should have a limit on how many fiber one yogurts one should eat in a day. I think I surpassed it. I'm feeling quite odd right now.

Guess who's lost 6 lbs??? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 3...I'm still alive!

2009-01-15T00:01:00.002-06:00

Well I'm on day 3 and I'm still breathing. I'm doing fine as far as sticking to the diet. Well in all honesty I'm doing fine all around. Yesterday was a different story.

See, I'm one of those fat girls that has dieted before...err I've dieted MANY times before. I've had success and I've had failure, but the one constant with any diet I've ever been on is that I'm a bitch the first week. I always called it my junk food detox period..my mother would probably call it an excuse for me to be mean and inconsiderate. Potato..Potatoe.

So I'm a bit suprised to find that I don't feel the thin layer of bitchiness completely surrounding my inner being during this first week. I only felt it yesterday, but it's hard to decide if it was because I was craving deep fat fried twinkies dipped in chocolate or if it was because it was like 6 degrees with a windchill of -10 outside and I drew the short stick at work leaving me with the task of doing outside trash....I hate people with their fucking trash...dump it at home!!

Dear Bitter Cold Weather,

2009-01-13T09:23:00.001-06:00

FUCK YOU!!!!

First official weigh in

2009-01-12T10:53:00.003-06:00

I made the executive decision this morning to sleep in, and though I wanted to get up and eat junk food as usual, I resisted the urge. As I write this post my fat [soon to dwindle down to nothing] ass is sitting eating breakfast.

Breakfast is;
1 slimfast [with 1/2 a banana blended in]
fiber one yogurt
fresh squeezed grapefruit juice

FYI to the world, FiberOne yogurt is amazing! It really does deserve its own post!!

Back to business, I weighed myself first thing when I woke up. My official starting weight is

352.8

Going out with a BANG!

2009-01-11T22:29:00.001-06:00

Tonight is my last night before I start my diet. I went over to a friends house and ate pizza, drank beer, and played..ermm more like sucked at Guitar Hero. It was fun and I didn't want to night to end.

BUT...I'm ready to start my diet....and my life!

YAY to Heath on winning the Golden Globe!!!!!!

Style Moment

2009-01-11T11:12:00.002-06:00

This looks like a moo moo. IT'S GUCCI!!!!

COME ON!!!!!!

Pancake bliss

2009-01-11T10:46:00.002-06:00

Today is the last day of freedom before the big {DIET} starts. I made myself chocolate chip pancakes....Oh dear Lord..mmmmmmm!

I think I used too many chocolate chips.. (No such thing, right??)

I love how when I make the batter and add the chips I ALWAYS add a good amount, stir them in and then think to myself..."Hmm, I think we need to go full force on the chocolate today". I always regret it in the end.

2009-01-10T20:35:00.002-06:00

This blogging thing is alot like cranberry sauce...you only think about it once in a blue moon...but when you do think of it you must have a spoonful.

I'm bored with life right now so lets spice it up a bit.

It's that time of year again, yes that's right...it's time to have a New Year's Resolution....I know I'm about 2 weeks late on this one...I guess my friends were right, I'm always running late.

Mine is the same as usual..I will go on a diet and I will lose weight.

This site is going to help me with that. I am totally going to take advantage of this blog for my own personal gain...what are ya going to do about it?? Yeah, that's what I thought!

Success

2008-08-10T18:31:00.001-05:00

Thank the Lord that it is not measured by how often you tend to your blog....

Because I think I would be a bum...

Long Day

2008-07-21T17:03:00.002-05:00

There is not enough time in the day to get everything done.

Holy egg salad poop

2008-07-19T10:23:00.002-05:00

So I adopted a dog yesterday. She is a 1 year old yellow lab. She is beautiful...

She is a terror!!!

Her name was Dallas when I got her, but given my disdain for Texas I had to find her a different name.

So I decided on Callie. My mother calls her Calli Lilly...if only she were as calm and fragile as a lily.

10:40am

2008-06-30T10:40:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting in my office contemplating going and smoking a cigarette before my conference call at 11:00am.

On Friday afternoon Hell had a party here in Omaha and left a pretty rediculous mess for us to clean up after.

Our neighborhood got hit rather hard by the 70+ mph wind storm. 75 Ft trees ripped right out of the cement like weeds pulled from the garden.

My home was one of the lucky few in the area that did not have any structural damage.

It always amazes me what mother nature can really do. And lately she has been proving herself quite often. Between the floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and such, I have no doubt that she will bitch slap a city of 450,000 without thinking twice.

12:54pm

2008-06-27T12:54:00.002-05:00

Uggg why does the FA Department have to be so damn great?

Because I was just forced to par-take in a "huddle" where the admissions team bought bagels and coffee for the FA team b/c they're "soo amazing and helpful".

I don't care if they're growing a money tree back there and handing it out for free! I'm on a diet and I don't want to sit and watch you guys stuff yourselves with yummy Carbohydrate packed rings of heaven.

I'm only a little bitter about it. The Vegetarian Hoodia is helping me cope.

7:57am

2008-06-24T07:57:00.002-05:00

I'm having a Gold day. I have gold earrings on, a gold sweater and ..get ready for this one....I have GOLD SANDALS ON!!!

I know you're jealous!

All I need now is a gold stapler to match everything...

8:02am

2008-06-20T08:01:00.002-05:00

To my sister,

Happy Birthday!

6:00am

2008-06-20T05:49:00.001-05:00

I've lost a total of 9 lbs!

Whoot to me!!!

Happy Friday. I'm half awake right now getting ready for a day filled with run rate charts, expense reports, and chain smoking....

1:58pm

2008-06-19T13:58:00.001-05:00

Okay, this having to pee every 9 seconds is getting VERY old.

Today is a busy day.

11:54am

2008-06-18T11:54:00.003-05:00

I pee alot now.

Aren't you glad that you know that now? I thought you'd like that one.

Anyways, I drink alot of water during the day now, so therefore I pee alot during my day at work. Me and the end stall in the Ladies Restroom have bonded.

When I'm on a toilet I have to redirect my attention from the fact that my ass is touching a seat that MANY other naked asses have touched...So the other day I was looking at the door to the stall and I noticed a company logo on the metal hinge and lock that keeps you private from the rest of the bathroom.

The company is called "Hiny Hiders".

I would give both arms and both legs to work for a company called Hiny Hiders. Could you imagine introducing yourself to people. "Hi my name is Frank, I'm the CEO of Hiny Hiders"...

Good stuff.

I've lost 7 lbs.

3:13pm

2008-06-17T15:13:00.003-05:00

Day 2 of diet.

I have not killed anyone yet. I've come close, but I've resisted the urge. That's called will power.

I feel better about myself already. I feel like I'm moving forward, where as before I was just in this constant state of blah. I don't want to jinx this new found energy, because in the past when I have done that, I end up falling off the wagon and landing on a box of ho ho's.

I always thought that I wasn't one of those over weight people that obsessed about food. I know you're laughing at that last sentence because it makes no sense, but just humor me by pretending that you know there is a point to it. When I'm not on a diet I always think to myself that when the day comes that I want to lose weight I will be able to control my diet with out any difficulty. Well now that I'm on a diet I understand why obesity is a disease. I look at food and I want it. I don't just think to myself "oh that looks good, I wish I could try it". We're talking, I'm mentally having to hold myself back from eating everything in sight. I constantly find my conscience trying to rationalize eating a bag of skittles or a bag of chips.

I know what this means for me and my future. It means alot of effort and disipline on my part, Physically AND mentally. I'm always going to crave certain food. I'm a firm believer that even when on a diet, one should be able to have something that's not "diet food" once in a while. The important thing is to always control the portions.

At this point I'm working on cleaning out my body of alot of things I used to eat. Fast food, candy, pop, alcohol, junk food....I'm also strictly following portion sizes. Eventually I would love to try giving up alot of the crap they put in processed foods. For now, I'm only taking on as much as I can handle.

I can see a steady path ahead of me and it exciting and scary and CRAZY all at once...

8:38am

2008-06-16T08:38:00.001-05:00

Birds flying high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River runnin' free, you know how I feel
Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life for me
And I'm feelin' good

Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when the day is done, that's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world for me
For meStars when you shine, you know how I feel
Scent of the pine, you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new life for me

And I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' good
I'm feelin' so good
I feel so good

6:23pm

2008-06-15T18:23:00.002-05:00

Well I had a completely different day then I expected to have. I did not go shopping for hidden treasures...well not exactly.

My friend Steph won two tickets to the College World Series...RIGHT HERE in Omaha. She invited me and I was so excited to get to go. It ended up being a beautiful hot and sunny Nebraska day. We get there about 10 minutes into the game. We find our seats, our very good seats. They were right behind homeplate, which is almost close enough to pinch the catchers butt.

I'm a big girl, and Steph is the mini me version. We go to sit down, and guess what, it's an EXTREMELY tight fit for my Wide Load of an ass to get into the seat. I felt like all eyes were one me and my ass that wasn't wanting to fit in the stadium seat. I did what I always do when it comes to my weight...I made fun of myself. I joked with Steph throughout the game about how I'd be lucky to be able to get my ass out with out lifting the whole row of connected seats up with me.

We joked all the way home about it. I joked with my mom about it. Then after Steph and my sister left, I snapped at my mom. It was over something silly...probably about the way she was blinking her eyes, I dunno, but I snapped. Then after 10 minutes of her tippy toeing around me in fear of further pissing me off, I apologized for being crabby. I tried to say that I had a fun time but that it ended up being a horrible day. I couldn't get two words out without breaking down in tears. She asked what was wrong and I told her that I think the FINAL string had snapped. I am done with living my life this way. I couldn't even go out to a ball game without feeling ashamed of every inch of my body. She came to my side and let me cry on her shoulder. I was totally expecting her to be her usual self and insert a comment about how I need to lose weight and be thin.

She said nothing. She just let me cry.

Then she finally said something ....she told me that I was perfect.

My mom has just changed my life.

I love you mom.

10:10am

2008-06-15T10:09:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was pretty close to the perfect day.

And for this family that means it would have been mediocre for a more normal family, but for us, it was a day that you take LOTS of pictures because it probably won't happen again for a few years. I don't mind, it keeps us on our toes. I took ZERO pictures, because I'm lazy like that on perfectly sunny days.

Then...yes, there's always a 'then' or a 'but' or for those class acts it's 'however'..the other shoe drops. My mother whom I love more than anything in this world got into one of her moods. It's not so much a mood as it is a judgeful scowl that she starts to emit. I can't explain my mother and "the way that she is". It's something that you would have to live with her for ~~several years~~ a day and you would understand what I'm talking about.

My mother has seemed to give up on her independence...something she used to pride herself on. She always resented my father because he lived a very spoiled, upscale life when he was younger. A far cry from the life my mother had when she was an adolescent. She has thrown the towel in and is perfectly content with having her children help support her.

Now I know how the life cycle goes, have a fun carefree childhood, parents raise you, then when you grow up you make good choices and start a life of your own, get married, have a family of your own, then take care of your old crippled parents who got you to where you are at that point. I understand that cycle and I'm not appealing it by any means, but my mother is far from crippled and I am far from being at the point in my life where I can happily take care of her.

I know that my mother wants the best for her 3 girls. I also know that she does not want to let us go. Let us go in the sense that if we want to travel or take on more than what we can chew at times financially, or choose a career path that doesn't pay out as much as a doctor or lawyer.

My oldest sister Lauren was here yesterday for the near record breaking perfect day. That evening she was sitting on the floor in my mom's room talking to my mother. Lauren had brought up a topic that apparently Lauren has been giving a lot of thought to. She told my mother that she wanted to pay off her debt in the next several years and then maybe move overseas. My mother of course made fun of Lauren by referencing the time when Lauren spent a whole summer in Germany acting as a nanny for my Aunt's 2 year old son and called home every day crying about how much she missed home. This did not sit well with my sister.

Now will Lauren ever move overseas? Lauren, will you? Probably not, but it's a noble dream to have and who knows, it may happen. Lauren was more pissed off that my mother would rather make fun of Lauren then listen to her idea and support her in her choices. Lauren does like to take things to the extreme so she became very upset and lets be honest, there was a split second where the world may have come to a screaming halt over this issue. Then of course it was a perfect opportunity for Lauren to leave the scene dramatically. She left mad as she secretly enjoys to do.

Lauren, don't be mad at me, I'm just laying it all down, because I had an epiphany last night after you left angry. How can my mother expect me to ever succeed if she won't cut the chain. I can't grow as a person if I always have to be by her side. She wants greatness out of her girls, and believe me I want greatness for myself, but how can that be done when she doesn't seem to want us to try to achieve our dreams?

I am going to shop for hidden treasures at the goodwill and then I am going to spend another day roasting in the sun!

2:10pm

2008-06-14T14:07:00.002-05:00

I just ate THEE BEST tiny serving of lemon ice cream. It was a creamy, tart, refreshing tease for my desperately seeking taste buds.

I love you Dundee Ice Creamery.

12:37pm

2008-06-14T12:37:00.002-05:00

Saturday Checklist:

1. Wake up
2. Get coffee in my system...STAT
3. Avoid the temptation of going back to sleep
4. Go to gym and do more than just fall asleep on the bike
5. Celebrate getting healthy by sucking on a "Satan stick"
6. Withdrawal money from my checking account and cry as I have to hand it to my mother
7. Put off mowing the yard
8. Go to the store and buy essentials to get through the day
*milk
*bread
*tequila
*limes
*dish soap
*inflatable pool to fill up and lounge in
*tampons
*aspirin for tomorrow
9. Refuse to do anything else for the day

8:46pm

2008-06-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

I just got home from the Mai Tai Lounge.

Rule number 1 at the Mai Tai Lounge is a max. limit of 2 Mai Tai's....Oh yeah baby!

Rule number 2 at the Mai Tai Lounge is to abide by rule 1 or else risk making a fool of your drunken self.

My 2 older MUCH wiser sisters are arguing with one another...They are one bitch slap away from flushing their pride down the toilet.

I love that my sister who recently quit smoking, refers to cigarettes as "Satan sticks"....I'm ashamed to say that I wrap my lips around Satan sticks daily...actually it kind of sounds sexy.

It's 8:51pm and I am ready for bed. THAT my friends is the effect that Mai Tai's at the Mai Tai Lounge have on this voluptuous chick!

Good night.

4:16pm

2008-06-13T16:15:00.002-05:00

You know it's raining too much when....

One of your co-workers nearly drowns after she drove her car into a ditch....

Way too much damn rain!!!

2:00pm

2008-06-13T14:00:00.002-05:00

I'm pretty sure I've had almost a whole bag of sour jolly ranchers.

It's possible that my saliva is permenantly sour fruit flavored...

1:10pm

2008-06-12T13:10:00.003-05:00

First comes the motorcycle + Then comes the go-tee + Next comes the ear piercing

= Mid Life Crisis!!!

11:39am

2008-06-12T11:39:00.002-05:00

My stomach just grumbled a full grammatically correct sentence...

I think I should go eat lunch.

3:12pm

2008-06-11T15:12:00.003-05:00

One of my 'things' that I do is while i'm sitting at my desk, I write my name in cursive over and over and over and over...again. Looks like a kid that got in trouble at school and had to write in a notebook for 10 pages.

Maybe it's my conscience's way of saying "ya well guess what lady? YOU'RE IN TROUBLE ALL THE TIME...SO WRITE!!!"

I ate BK for lunch today and I'm seriously regretting it now. At no point is it reasonable to drink a 52 oz. cup of Dr Pepper...In one sitting! I don't care who you are.

11:28am

2008-06-11T11:28:00.003-05:00

I love...

How my office neighbor refers to farting as "pushing out the demons".

9:11am

2008-06-11T09:08:00.002-05:00

From Spinning Girl...I missed doing these!

Rambling:: Rambo
Magnetic :: XMEN
Again! :: Give me a kiss on the cheek and i said DO IT!
Acoustic :: Folk
Mahogany :: Wine
Promises :: Rehab
Ill fitting :: perfect
Sublime :: love
Poop :: nice
Disoriented :: CRAZY

8:23am

2008-06-11T08:22:00.002-05:00

I woke up late, my hair would not do what I wanted it to do, some jackass on the interstate thought it would be funny to drive 40 mph, I had to park way in the back of the parking lot, my office door magically got locked and MY KEY WOULDN'T OPEN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even want to know if it can get any worse....

5:49pm

2008-06-10T17:49:00.003-05:00

What NOT to do...

Go to your sisters new apartment and take a poop...right before she's planning on taking a shower.

whoops

4:27pm

2008-06-10T16:23:00.002-05:00

Dude, what don't you get? The 915 report is due at 9:15am...I'm pretty sure the only way to make it easier for you is to re-name it the 'dueat9:15inthemorningmondaythrufridayuntilyoudie' report.

And NO I'm not renaming it to that!!! It won't fit on my desktop.

Gotta love people from Texas. I really want to reference a certain president right now...I will bit my tongue.

3:41pm

2008-06-10T15:42:00.002-05:00

My Green LG "Rumor" is supposed to be Eco friendly. It's a cell phone...up until like 2 years ago, scientists said that they emit nasty shit that can cause brain cancer. What a lovely change of pace...my phone is going to save the planet. Or do I have to upgrade my plan for that?

3:38pm

2008-06-10T15:27:00.002-05:00

Some would say I'm just down right lazy, I think I'm resourceful. Let me set the scene for you;

I'm sitting in my office working on some reports and putting together an order for some fancy business cards when I get a horrible itch on my back. Now, I'm a big girl so my limbs are not proportionate with the circumference of my body...(ie. I'm too fat to wrap my arms around myself!) I couldn't reach the itch. I tried rubbing my back along the back of my chair, but with 3 layers of clothing on my body and a chair that's made to be soft and comfy, it did not solve the problem.

Oh, yeah...Once I laid my eyes on those scissors, I knew the solution.

Right as i'm in the middle of relieving my itch...one of my bosses walks by.

It was SO worth it!

Clean like Mr. Clean minus the bald head

2008-02-20T21:27:00.005-06:00

I spent the WHOLE day cleaning my house. If a clean house is supposed to make oneself feel better, well it didn't work. I'm tired, sore, and I smell like unscented bleach! I don't know why they call it 'unscented' because it definately has a stank to it! I also spent the day watching Friends reruns while I dabbled in domesticity. At this point I'm practically pooping Friends trivia.

So while I was cleaning the bathroom and cleaning out my makeup drawer, I got a little distracted and started playing makeover Michaela into a futuristic whore...well that's what my mom said I looked like. My mother loves me, I swear she does, maybe.

This was the end result:

They call that shade of red 'paprika paprika'. I call it 'holy fuck thats bright'.

If these are my bedroom eyes, than WHOA watch out!

I look like I had a mild stroke. And then tried to cover up the half paralyzed face with 'holy fuck that's bright' red lipstick.

Note: These pictures were taken before I decided that it would be a good idea to add green to the eye makeup...I never know when to step back.

Oh and this one is my ode to Amy Winehouse. Noticably missing is the crack pipe and sailor tattoos. You get the idea though:

I hope everyone has a sex dream tonight...It just feels like one of those nights. Damn, you probably will after looking at this post, that or you'll throw up your dinner. One or the other. I guess I should be flattered that you're thinking of me. Even if it costs you a meal.

Tuesday

2008-02-19T08:41:00.004-06:00

I refuse to watch American Idol. Not because Paula seems high during every episode, and not b/c Randy uses the term 'dog' more times than I can count (and NONE are in reference to mans best friend!). I'm not watching American Idol this year b/c those ass wipes came to Omaha to do auditions and they painted Omaha to be some redneck inferior town, where our water is fetched from the well twice a day. Almost all of the people that made it on to that episode, weren't even from Omaha, rather the surrounding states! One girl was from LA, are you kidding me??

In all honesty I've never looked forward to a new American Idol season, I just thought I'd spill my rant.

I don't want to work today. My boss has it out for me and so she schedules me early today knowing full well that I was there until after midnight last night. I hate her and her over plucked eyebrows!

I've promised a dear blogger friend my top 3 gas station moments...they are coming, theres just so many directions I could go in, that I have to sort it all out in my head...it's giving me a headache.

This is what happens when you fuck with gas station clerks...we keep your change and store it in this very earthy looking piece of pottery. No, there's not any ashes in there...we're not like that, we'll just throw your body in the dumpster out back.

Inabling a fat person

2008-02-17T20:43:00.001-06:00

My mother just made THE best lasagna in the world. The 2 main ingredients are cream and butter...OH MY GHAWD! It's worth every ounce that it adds to my hips.

The cord was incorrectly cut...I'M BACK BITCHES

2008-02-17T17:58:00.003-06:00

Okay I'm just not feeling the whole wordpress jive. No offense to the mastermind behind that slice of awesome shit pie, but I just glanced at my partner in crimes NEW blog and felt that hole in my heart that was yurning for me to come back home...or maybe I just missed the simplicity of blogger, the first reason just seemed a hell of alot more interesting.

Let's get this stuff started!

It's a frog...humping a deli warmer case. Yeah.

Strap on your seatbelt

2007-10-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

Cuz I'm a bitch today.

I think someone put something in the water at work. Maybe a PMS tablet.

It's rainy, cold, and bitchy out!

Are you kidding me?

2007-10-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

DO NOT stick your finger, your dirty, crusty, looks as if it's already dead before the rest of your body, finger into that BBQ sandwich sitting in the deli warmer THEN change your mind and put it back.

I think I just puked in my mouth.

From Spinning Girl

2007-08-15T22:09:00.000-05:00

1. My favorite childhood toy was ...Mini chalk/dry erase board, I only liked the chalk side because I'd stand and scribble on it and speak to the stairs like they were my students.
2. My favorite childhood game was ...Eye Spy, instant classic!
3. The best movie I ever saw as a kid was ...I'm sorry but I have 2! Dirty Dancing and Goonies. I physically cannot pick just one, it's not possible. I was sooo not old enough to wrap my tiny brain around the plot of Dirty Dancing, I just loved the music and the dancing...oh and the pretty pink dress! Then there's Goonies...I don't need to expound on this one because it is obvious!
4. I don't do it much but I enjoy ...scetching
5. If I could lighten up a little, I'd let myself ... go to a kareokee bar sober
6. If it weren't too late I'd ...have tried harder in grade school
7. My favorite musical instrument is ...piano
8. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is ... uhh maybe $25...unfortunately bills come first. I hate being responsible. I bet ya one months rent that irresponsible is much more fun.
9. If I could get anything for my inner artist, I'd buy him/her ...adobe illustrator and a fine set of oil pastels
10. Taking time out for myself is ...getting my nails done
11. If I start dreaming ...don't wake me up!
12. I secretly enjoy reading ...the dictionary
13. If I only could have grown up to be ...more spontaneous
14. I wish I could make/write/grow/ create a ...perfect world
15. My parents think that I ...do more than I should/am too fat
16. What makes me feel weird is ...the feeling that someone is behind me when really there isn't, it happens all the time!
17. My most cheer-up music is ...80's
18. My favorite way to dress is ...casual...jeans and a tshirt make me extremely happy.

Things that make me wonder...

2007-08-15T22:02:00.000-05:00

Seeing a 50 some year old man driving a mercedes convertable with shoulder length curly hair.

I'm not sure what I'm more jealous of, the fact that he owns a mercedes or the fact that he has perfectly curly long hair...I want both!

Sweet tea and bugs

2007-08-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

I had a really long day at work today and I am so glad to be home.

Gas station customers really piss me off! They just have to have something to complain about. It doesn't help that my store is located in the center of a very wealthy area, so there are actually women that go to local businesses and complain about the most miniscule things and consider it a hobby. God forbid they sit and read a book or take up tennis! NOOO, come and antagonize the gas station clerks, that'll surely waste a large chunk of time.

I discovered a strange rash on my arm and I questioned my boss as to where it came from. She suggested it came from a liquid or powder substance there at work. I pondered the thought of it being anthrax for about 20 minutes but decided it was probably the new lotion I had used earlier this morning. My family has always said I was over-dramatic.

My work has a praying mantis that will not go away. At first I thought it might be a different one each day, because who the hell would want to stick around my job for a week straight? Well given my curious nature, I did something that I'm sure will cause bug lovers much distress...I placed a dot on the body of the praying mantis with a permanent marker. Well I attempted to but when the marker touched it, it squirmed a little bit causing my marker to shimmy...which made the mark resemble a heart, which I could not pass up the opportunity! I finished the job and gave it a heart tattoo!

I'm aware that I'm going to go to hell.

Did you hold your breath?

2007-08-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

I've been around. Not alot of it is worth mentioning, and since most of you don't come to these blogs to get sleepy I'll refrain from going into detail on my lack of commitment to this blog...To be quite honest if I told you it was anything other than laziness it would be a big fat lie.

Nebraska is really f---ing hot this summer. I don't do well in 100 degree weather. I get grumpy...much more easily than usual, which for a 21 year old overweight female battling depression is not good news for people near me.

I just realized I'm too tired to blog tonight, so I'll get back to this tomorrow!

Good night

Chaellyboo 3.0

2006-11-12T11:04:00.000-06:00

Well I think I took a long enough hiatus. Alot has been happening in my life...some may not be all that interesting, but it's still news in my life. Unfortunately when I get down to blogging about it, I can't translate it to the keyboard. I swear I come to blogger.com 3 maybe 4 times a week with every damn intention to blog, and I end up turning right back around and indulging in other dirty pleasures (ie. Pink is the New Blog).

Everytime I've tried then failed at this blog thing, I seriously contemplated deleting the whole fucking thing. The only thing was that I couldn't do it. I'm emotionally attached to this thing. It's been something that I've been able to be consistant with (minus the last 2 months...)and I can't say that about alot in my life.

So I'm giving it another go for it. I figure I have my work, my dog, the fact that I'm mad most of the time, and all the other shit in my life to keep this blog full of new and interesting posts. I'm hoping for more pictures and some more pazazz in my writing. I also fully understand that I'm gonna have to make the blog community rounds again...as I've had serious issues with doing that as well. Please don't think I've forgotten about you guys. You're always my favorites!

Where the hell you been

2006-11-03T20:33:00.000-06:00

What the fuck Michaela? Where have you been? Well I've been busy! Well not really... I do work alot, so that will be my excuse. I doubt that anyone has taken notice of my 2 month leave of absence, which I'm totally okay with. Nothing alittle voodoo can't fix.

So I'm at a friends house right now, so I can't really concentrate and make a real post, but I'm gonna leave you with some tips from a professional:

Watch: Thank You For Smoking

~This is my new favorite movie. Aaron Eckhart is just awesome in it. The first five minutes are what hooked me, but I guarentee it is a good one.

Read: Little Beauties

~ I acutally haven't finished it, but I love the concept. A woman with OCD, a pregnant teenager swearing to give her unborn child up for adoption, and the teenagers unborn fetus all narrate the book.

Listen: The mixed CD I just made!
1. The Only One by Evanescence
2. Nowhere Warm by Kate Havnevik
3. All I need by Mat Kearney
4. Quicksand by Sleeping at Last
5. Walking With A Ghost by Tegan and Sarah
6. Thrown It All Away by Brandi Carlile
7. Lullaby by Dixie Chicks
8. Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol
9. Everything Changes by Staind

I'll make a real post soon!

9-11 and more

2006-09-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have nothing to blog about lately. My mind is not retaining anything that happens in my life. My life hasn't been boring or nonexistant, it's just that I'm having serious issues with trying to recall anything. For the most part I have just been working and hanging out with friends. One thing I do want to mention is...

This week does mark the 5th year anniversary of Sept. 11. It is a day that I will always remember where I was, what I was doing, and how I was feeling. When I was younger I remember talking to my mom about how I had learned about the assassination of JFK in school and her recalling where she was when that happened. It always boggeled my mind that 30 some years later and she still remembers what she was wearing when that happened. She always told me that something was bound to happen in my lifetime that would linger in the dark corners of my memory until the day I passed. For me it is 9-11. I was in 10th grade that year. I was in my 2nd period English class being taught by my favorite teacher, Mrs. Kelly. I was in the middle row 3rd desk back when a teacher from across the hall ran into our room and without any hesitation turned on our t.v.. I was so distracted by the building on the screen that was up in flames that I didn't bother to read the scrolling information at the bottom of the screen. My initial reaction was that the building in downtown Omaha was up in flames. And the moment I saw the second plane crash into the second building, I realized that this was not in Omaha, and that this was no ordinary, run of the mill fire. I felt a chill down my spine when I realized that someone did it intentionally. Over 3000 people perished on that one single day.

I will never forget that day. ever.
*******************************************************

I'm happy to announce that I'm finally doing more with my social life. I even let loose and saw a movie at the Old Dundee Theatre...We saw Little Miss Sunshine, and holy boats it was good! Definately something I would recommend. I also finally watched the first Lord Of The Rings. It took several nights to watch the whole thing, only because I watched it at night while in bed, and I kept falling asleep. The thing with me and my bed is when we come into contact, the bed always wins. It doesn't even have to sweet talk me, or lure me in with cheap chocolate, I'm always out in 13-14 minutes no matter how many energy drinks I consume. Anyways, I finished it on Wednesday and now I can barely wait to watch the second and third.

So I've been watching Project Runway like a dirty whore and I've decided that it is time to learn how to sew. It's something I've always been amazed by...the fact that you can take a yard of fabric and make it into something of use, is beyond amazing to me. I'd love to try and make myself a dress one of these days...so long as it doesn't come out looking like a moo-moo from the clearance rack at the local department store.

When I have to reference moo-moo's in my blog, I know that means I need to lose weight....I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'!

Do thoughts like these send people to hell?

2006-08-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

I think there is someone at work fabricating information about his cancer....I'm not sayin, I'm just sayin!

Powerball brings out the crazies

2006-08-06T08:45:00.000-05:00

I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to have had someone other than me win the $200 million jackpot. Don’t get me wrong, it would be amazing if I had been the winner, but holy fuck it sucks at work when it gets above $150 mil. People start to turn into savage beasts! Plus everyones supersticious ways become more and more evident. I have a regular that comes into the store and gets a quick pick lotto ticket. He checks it over and decides if he likes the “position” of the numbers then if everything is good for him, he’ll get another ticket, only this time with his choice of “position” for the numbers. All I ever want to say is, “just take a ticket and move along or I’ll position my foot up your ass!”.

Trying

2006-06-29T23:53:00.000-05:00

I'm really trying to get back in the mind set to lose weight. I've just completely let myself go in the last year...or two. I've let it take a backseat to alot of things in my life, and the truth is that I'm happier when I have something so real and serious to focus on. Everything in my life is healthier when I'm in good health...or trying to get into good health. I'm a more organized person and most importantly I'm much more active.

I'm not one of those people that loves their body for what it is, I'm just not. I don't consider myself insecure, but that doesn't mean that I have to enjoy being fat. I feel like my whole personality suffers for my shame. So I'm gonna try to go back on my diet. I think I'm close enough to the right mindset to do it for real this time.

About 4 years ago I lost nearly 80 lbs. (granted I wasn't as heavy from the start as I am now) but it was probably the best feeling I've ever had. I felt like I had something to be proud of. I was active and felt good about myself. I want that back. When I try to picture my future, I never see it with me being extremely heavy. My diet blog is back up and running, and I hope I can keep it updated because I think that might help me stay motivated.

We'll see if this is the real deal or not!

2006-06-25T12:07:00.000-05:00

Well last night was memorable...We had some company over for drinks and a barbecue and well it was crazy to say the least. For anyone that really knows me they know that I'm not a heavy drinker...I drink a beer or a margarita every now and then. So minus the 2002 New Years Eve champaigne incident and the sleep over that included beer, whiskey, tequila, and vodka...I think it is safe to say that I'm no lush. WELL, last night was a bit different. I didn't even think I drank all that much at first, but when you take into consideration that I slammed down 2 generous sized margaritas, then tried...TRIED to do a shot of vodka...it came right back up! Maybe alittle stayed down there, but not much. Then I had a wine cooler mixed with margarita...which was gross, but lovely to my tipsy taste buds. I tried to drink Red Bull and vodka but due to the earlier incident with vomit, it just wasn't meant to be! Then I had a mudslide, which I didn't even like, but they made me chug it...blahh

Anyways, I ended up jumping into the pool with all my clothes on...several times! I know at some point I started crying. And my friend Keegan might have seen me half naked...Good news is that I had fun and I don't have a hangover!

Angry no more

2006-06-17T11:36:00.000-05:00

I hit a new low in my mood swings. I realized that I was finding off the wall reasons to be mad a people in my life. I would get pissed off for silly reasons all for the sake of being angry. Some days I feel like it's easier to be mad than to be happy. Being content and at peace was just too easy. When I'm angry I know that my brain is keeping busy and therefore keeps my mind off of other depressing thoughts. Is it bad to say that waking up every morning with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my heart is just too much effort most days? Is it strange that I've been told that my idle face (which is when I am at my most relaxed) is a frightful glare, that people don't dare mess with?

I'm happy to say that as of today I am not mad at anyone! Well I'm always alittle ticked off at Paris Hilton...Seriously! She hits a parked car and gets a tickle on the hand...I rear-end someone that slammed on their brakes at the worst time, and I get ticketed, my insurance goes up, my 1986 Mercury Piece Of Shit is all messed up and my mother has something to use against me for years to come... Fair? I think not!

Anywho....yes it is true, I'm not mad at any of the important people in my life, and it feels good. I feel like I can take a deep breath without wanting to scream expletives on the exhale. I must say that for a good couple of weeks I was even worried about myself. More in the sense of my state of mind and attitude. I was someone that you wanted to stay away from, mostly because you wouldn't put it past me to throw something dense and jagged in your general direction.

Michaela

I Can't Do It

2006-06-06T22:27:00.000-05:00

It just hit me. I don't want to leave blogger! I love blogger. Blogger has always been good to me. I met some of my favorite bloggies on Blogger! Blogger I'm home for good!

Deer Lord!

2006-06-06T22:25:00.000-05:00

Yes, I live in Nebraska. No, I don't live on a farm around lots of animals! I pride myself on the fact that I live in Omaha, a very suburbanized city that keeps getting bigger and bigger. I say this because last night my friend Keegan and I hit a deer! You always hear about it happening on the interstate, and we have signs posted on the sides of any roads that lay up against a large body of wooded acreage, but when it happens to you, the shock of it all is no less.

We were on our merry ole way down a street that gets quite a bit of traffic during the day time hours, though at night it's pretty deserted. Keegan and I had just been rockin' our tiny tushes out to Techno Friday on the local rock station, when we headed on to the road that inhabits possibly the worlds dumbest animal. So Keeg's and I are switching stations and giggling at one anothers failed attempt to boogie. When out of the corner of my right eye I see an animals head highlighted by headlights, and within 5 seconds of that moment we were both screaming. I give huge props to Keegan because he didn't swerve all that much. I have been told by many somewhat credible sources that if you ever 'find' yourself the victim of a brainless creature crossing the road, if at all possible DO NOT swerve to avoid hitting it. My first thought is the reason for this rule is because deer are apparently so dumb they kind of deserve to get hit, therefore kind of deserving to die…I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'! The true reason for it is so that you don't risk involving other cars for the sake of one deer.

Just so we're all clear, I'm fine, Keegan is fine, his car is…well, dented but otherwise okay. At the end of this big mishap we have an endearing (or endeering) story to tell for years to come…Or until we hit a talking/dancing/mind-reading cow while going 60mph, cuz then the deer story will be completely over-shadowed.

The Impossible

2006-06-01T01:53:00.000-05:00

I did it! I made a wordpress blog. Well I really just transferred everything here over to there. One thing that's really bothering me is the fact that I cannot get the links to my buddies blogs on there. Anyone that has a a wordpress site please let me in on the big secret.

http://imichaela.wordpress.com/

I would love it if you all could stop by sometime and let me know what you think.

The Down Side

2006-05-25T10:57:00.000-05:00

...to working evenings 6 days a week, is that I miss almost every single show that I enjoy. I say almost because I am able to watch Grey's Anatomy on Sundays, and looks like ABC is taking yet ANOTHER thing from my heart! DAMN YOU CORPORATE NETWORKS!! Yeah so if you haven't heard yet, they're planing to move it to Wednesday or Thursday...I can't remember which one they said, because at the time I was so overcome with emotion that I was getting sick to my stomach.

I think I'm ready to step this blog up a notch. I'm talking new title, new look, new writing ideas, maybe even a new address. We'll see how many of those ideas actually pan out. It just seems like lately this site has been a notepad only for my nonexistant personal life. I have creative ideas in my head, sure they're probably alittle dusty from sitting up there for so long, but creativity shouldn't have an expiration date on it.

Believe it or not, I'm growing up and I would really like this blog to grow with me. I think it has great potential from both a creative standpoint and a theraputic one. We'll see where I go from here.

Toodles

Who Doesn't Like An Old Fashioned Grill Out?

2006-05-22T18:28:00.000-05:00

Tonight is gonna be A-mazing! My good friend Keegan is coming over for a grill out. Lydia will be here, her Marty might be coming, and a night of fun is promised. It'll be just like the good ole days. The only person that will be missing from this ordeal is my momma. She might have to work late late tonight...:(

I haven't had a bratwurst in ages!

I'm probably alittle too excited about this, but I don't CARE!!

20 is not much different than 19...

2006-05-12T23:39:00.000-05:00

So I turned 20 on Sunday..Yay me! It was a nice calm day, not a whole lot going on. My sister got me a very very special gift...an iPod Shuffle and oh my sweet relish I'm in love with it! She got me a couple of other cute little things which were the cherries to top off the iPod. I told my mom not to get anything because we're really trying to conserve money right now, and if I had gotten anything I know that I would have constantly been thinking about which bills could have been paid in exchange for it.

To really make the day special, my dad called me and talked to me for a few minutes. He asked how life was and how the dog was doing. After a few minutes he said he had to go and that I should keep in touch with him...click! Not one mention of my birthday...AT ALL! It just figures that he would completely forget about my birthday. I still have not let him in on the big secret that was my birthday. I figure that when his birthday rolls around in July and he calls expecting presents...my gift to him will be a tour through the hall of shameful fathers that forget their childrens birthdays!

Not much else exciting going on around here. Just work and not a whole lot of play. As is usual in my extremely boring life...

Toodles!

You Can Do It

2006-05-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

I helped out at another store tonight, and it was sooooo slow. The store is closing in a month due to poor sales and now I understand why. I feel sorry for the employees there, because they are shit out of luck. The company is not even offering other positions within the company...yet they feel that the staff should stay until d-day so that the company isn't stuck in a ruck. Now that is corporate bullshit at its best!

It's a funny thing not looking forward to the next day. I mean this not in a depressing way, even though it probably comes out that way. I just haven't been looking forward to the future lately. I've always daydreamed about where I see myself 10-15 years from now, and I always thought that those daydreams would transform into my goals, but lately I haven't dreamt about those "goals-in-training"... Maybe that's Gods way of telling me to stop daydreaming and start doing.

I need to find some friends...fast!

Well at least I'm not ill anymore

2006-04-28T19:36:00.000-05:00

So I've been cured from the plague for about a week now and I'm living life up. It was really touch and go there for a while. I seriously thought that my stuffy nose was gonna be the death of me...

Did I ever mention that I'm a cry baby about being sick? Well that would actually be putting it lightly. My immune system is much like a bullet proof vest...Not much can get through that sucker! So you would understand a great deal when I admit that I get a little distraught over the pain of just a simple cold.

My older sister Lydia is graduating college tomorrow from Northwest Missouri State, and I couldn't be any more proud of her. She has worked her ass off to be there and I can't wait to watch her walk up there. She already got a job and everything! We butt heads every once in a while, but I love her very much and I take pride in the fact that she is MY sister.

Big changes are happening at the place of employement. My manager is leaving and one of my co-workers (who just happens to be her lesbian lover) is going with her. They've come to be great friends, and I don't want them to go because we have such a fun time at work that it almost doesn't feel like work. Plus the new manager is a real bitch and I don't want to be nice to her...But I will because unfortunately it's in my nature to give everyone a chance (it's one of my personal flaws).

I'll leave you with one fact: Strawberry Gatorade and cherry nibs go quite well together dispite what you may think about two polar opposite artificial flavors. Just something to keep in mind!

Peace

Stop Running!

2006-04-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

That is how I feel about my damn nose! I'm sick as a dog today and I'm gonna be a big baby about it.

Everyone has something in common...

2006-04-19T09:30:00.000-05:00

Since I've been working a ton of hours, I've picked up on something that I find to be really cool. One person comes in and buys a $1.29 pop with 2 $1 bills. I give them their change, and they're on their merry way. Then, the next customer in line, who doesn't know a darn thing about the customer that was just in front of them, buys 3 lottery tickets with a $5 bill. Their change is $2, so they end up getting the last customers money.

Sometimes when I'm having a bad or maybe just boring day at work, I get really into this, and I imagine where those 2 bills will be in a day, a week, or even a month. I'll keep doing it until I confuse myself to the point of insanity!

Then I start to wonder who has touched my money before? Has Tom Cruise ever come into contact with my dollar before? Or maybe a convicted felon doing 15 in San Quentin... All very very possible.

If only paper money could talk, huh?

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T15:30:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone is having a great day. Spend time with family and eat more candy than your tummy can hold!

2006-04-12T22:39:00.000-05:00

Things That I Swear Really Happened to Me at Work:

I finally got switched to the evenings and just as things are looking up for me, I get stuck with an old man that refuses to wear deodorant....and if I'm up to date with my foul odors, I'd say he doesn't bother to wipe his ass either!

I ran over a silver fork and it got lodged into my tire! In the employee parking area...When I told my coworkers about it, my former assistant manager says in response, "That's what happened to the fork I brought for my dinner last night!

I had to argue with a group of 12 year olds on why I wouldn't sell them a carton of eggs and a 6 pack of toilet paper...

A door to door mormon came in and told me I had a beautiful ora...my first thought was 'Yeah, well you ain't getting any of THIS ora!'

Spring-aling-ading!

2006-04-08T11:49:00.000-05:00

Today is a day that I've been waiting for...A beautiful Spring day. Not too cold and not too hot/humid, just perfect. This past winter things were pretty rough in our household and there were many times that we regreted buying this house. But today is the kind of day that makes me rethink those kind of thoughts. It's a day where the tulips and trees are blossoming and the birds are making God-awful churping sounds that make your realize that Spring is here!

This is bound to piss me off!

2006-04-05T22:56:00.000-05:00

When customers belittle me by literally throwing their money or credit card on to the counter as if to say "I want to pay but I don't want your blue collar coodies to rub off onto me".

Needless to say, today was interesting at work...

Kind of figured...

2006-03-31T20:56:00.000-06:00

So I was just looking at my sisters myspace and was reading some of her recent posts. One was some sort of tag that people do. One section of it is list your 5 favorite things. Her's is: music, propel fitness water, my mother, my dog, and bed.

I'm not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that I didn't make the cut or that propel fitness water did and I didn't...

This is an unpleasant revelation

2006-03-30T19:16:00.000-06:00

So yesterday my mom brought home a bag filled with new products that her store is going to start selling. Among the items was a new energy drink in a brown and silver can. I made a comment to her about how unappealing an energy drink with brown on the label was and she said that the whole energy drink revolution was disgusting! I knew she never liked the taste of the popular energy drinks on the market, but what she said to me last night had life altering consequences that will forever haunt me. She told me that one of the ingredients in some of them is something called taurin (sp?). Well does ANYONE know what that is? It comes from bulls testicals!!! This is breaking news in the life of Michaela! A very important fact that SHOULD be on the front of the can in bold letters so everyone is clear on the fact that they're sipping on bull testical juice! BLAGH!

On a completely different topic....Has everyone in the blogging community changed their templates? I really need to speed up with the times!

Peace out!

I'm alive...I think

2006-03-29T12:28:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile, has it not?

I'm sorry for the extended leave, it's just that work got very overwhelming the last few weeks, and I've been pulling some hours there that have left me barely sane. Because of that I didn't really want there to be documented evidence of my crazy sleep-deprived thoughts...

But I'm back and hopefully completey restored to the good ole Michaela. I can barely wait to visit everyones blogs and see what the hell has been going on since my subatical from blogging. I've thought of all of you very often, but like I said, I rarely even checked my email in the last few weeks let alone surf my co-bloggers homes.

I'm getting my hair done today so I figure I might wait to make my full post after it's done so I can post a picture of the new me!!

Loves all over!!!

Go Foxy, It's Your Birthday...Not for Real Real, Just For Play Play!

2006-03-05T09:31:00.000-06:00

My mother and I have gotten into a very strange ritual on Sunday mornings. I for one will not admit that we bond over it, soley on the grounds of incriminating myself. When I wake up in the morning, I walk into my mothers room to find her watching the Food Network, usually I walk in just when she's putting in her own critique of what the random chef is doing. We'll fix coffee and lay in her bed and watch TV for a few hours. And because it's my mother that has the loaded remote control in her right hand, we end up watching the Food Network for most of that time. There are 3 female chefs that make my blood boil, and they are; Paula Dean, Ina Garten (aka Barefoot Contessa) and Giada De Laurentiis (aka La blah blah blah blah). They have fairly interesting ideas for food, but it's their personalities that bug the crap out of me. So me and my mom spend about 2 hours mocking and joking everything they do!

I know, I know I'm pathetic, but there are few joys in my life, and this is one of them so leave me be!!

I worked a 10 hour shift yesterday and OMG am I sore. It really didn't hit me until like 9 hours into the shift that I was pulling a big load... Of course it's always the day that you're tired and in pain that you get the most interesting customers. Our gas station attracts alot of teenagers and by attracts I mean plays home to teenage loitering bastards! Now I'm pretty laid back when it comes to the rules, but the little fuckers are really asking for it when they are loud and littering and basically making my job harder. Also leave it to the rich snobby kids of West Omaha to deal illicit substances in the front of our parking lot. (That new pimped out Lexus sedan is mighty purdy, but it still doesn't make you invisible numb nuts!)

Whoa I'm grumpy today....lol

For your viewing pleasure!

Here I am working it to Beyonce's Check On It...I am truly a work of art!

And here we have a random shot of a colorful bench in Omaha

Have a happy Monday..cuz I know I won't!

Whoa

2006-02-22T16:44:00.000-06:00

DAMMIT! I had a plan people! The plan was to blog more often and mingle more in the blogosphere...So much for that! The lack of motivation in me is quite amazing, if there were an olympic sport for it, I'd be all over that shit! Sadly, the olympics are reserved for interesting if not edge-of-your-seat sports...like Curling!

Let's not focus on all the bad (because I don't want to and it's my blog so BAHAHA!).

Most recently I noticed that Old Navy is selling green leprochaun (sp?) hats and decided that it was absolutely necessary to buy one and wear it on the carride home. It was great! Who knew Old Navy would support the Leprochauns?!?!?!

I'm gonna leave for now, but may post again later tonight...then again I might make my next post in 17 days...Who knows? I can no longer make promises. I'm bad!

Recruiting New Bloggers!

2006-02-11T12:20:00.000-06:00

So it snowed here in Omaha for the first time in about 3 months. I guess I'd be a sonofabitch to complain about it since I do *technically* live in the midwest and we *technically* get all 4 seasons (ie. replace the word 'technically' with the word 'fucking' and we're good to go!). Not to mention Punxatony Phil saw his shadow, so I guess if all else failed, I should have figured the snow would come sooner or later. I don't really buy into that Groundhogs Day crap, because as one of my coworkers so brilliantly puts it...It's a small furry animal predicting the weather for 2 months, so I wouldn't worry about it!

Got paid yesterday...and to celebrate I went and paid 4 bills! Woohoo!

Crystal made a comment over on her blog of amazingness a few days ago that really struck a cord with me, only because I'd been secretly thinking similar things...What the F is up with blogger(s)? Is it just me...and Crystal apparently or are people not around as often? Not as much commenting, not as much posting (I am guilty of this crime), and just overall lonesomeness to the blogging community. Now I mention this knowing full well that I am equally to blame, I've gotten overwhelmed with work lately and with school starting I can't help but put sleep above blogging. Normal people can handle a 45 hour/week job and school and life...then there's me, who can barely handle driving, let alone anything else without the stress meter in my left pocket exploding.

Random Thought For a Snowy Omaha Day:

*On my way home from work late Wednesday I noticed after about two minutes into it that I was driving alongside the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile! It was crazy! I started screaming at the top of my lungs and a single tear (might) have pierced the surface of my face...I reached for my camera, but couldn't get it to turn on, nearly driving into a bus stop. I didn't get a picture of it, so you'll never know if that was a real story or a bunch of rubbish....hehehehe

Better Late Than Never

2006-02-04T23:04:00.000-06:00

Okay so Beth tagged me a few days ago and I had completely forgotten about it until I noticed it over at Ms. Adventures... So here we go!

4 jobs i've had:
* A&W cashier
* Tuxedo rental shop
* Pier One product stocker
* Bridal Shop (for one whole friggin' day!)

4 places i've lived:
* Omaha, NE
* Omaha, NE
* Omaha, NE
*Omaha, NE

4 movies i could watch over and over:
* Zoolander
* garden state
* Dirty Dancing
* 10 Things I Hate About You

4 tv shows i watch (currently on air)
* lost
* Gilmore Girls
* Friends (DVD's BABY!)
* Law and Order (CI and/or SVU)

4 places i've been on vacation:
* South Dakota
* Kansas City
* Chicago, Il.
* Louisville, Ky

4 websites i visit daily:
* gmail.com
* dooce.com
* superficial.com
* blogger

4 of my favorite foods:
* veitnamese
* soup
*italian
* hamburgers

4 places i'd rather be right now:
* at a spa getting my feet rubbed
* shopping with an unlimited credit card
*sleeping
* NYC

4 bloggers i am tagging:
*Steph
*Lydia
*Fritz
*Crystal

No More Hiatus

2006-02-04T13:07:00.000-06:00

With the exception of a few teeny tiny posts, I've been absent for a few weeks now. Most of it is because of the rediculous amount of hours I've been pulling at my job which causes me to want to spend the majority of my little free time with my mom. I am hoping that with the bump in the road at my job out of the way, I'll have alittle more free time to spend doing things that I really want to buckle down and concentrate on. Those things include school, exercise, and blogging (in NO particular order, of course)!

Since I've noticed that a few good bloggers have borrowed the 'what should be trademarked' Random Thought, I feel that it is only necessary to reprise my role and bring you more...

Random Thoughts for your Saturday afternooon.

~It is never good when you start refering to your post-accident vehicle not as a car with a dent on it, but rather a dent with a car on it.

~My mom purchased some Wolfgang Puck knives this week, and OH MY Goodness are they worth every penny she put on "stretch pay". I'm sure if I tried, they'd cut through pop cans...I'm also sure that if I tried that, my mom would try to cut thru one of my fingers.

~My father just recently purchased a computer and discovered the phenomenon that is 'emailing'. Along with it he's found his inner gangsta dialect...He now sends me emails where he leaves the last one or two letters off of random words.

~My dog is on the verge of growling 'Momma'. It's quite impressive!

Some cool pictures I took with my camera:

I rock the fruggle train....

2006-01-31T22:03:00.000-06:00

I'm so amazing...I found shawls at Target for $2.30! I seriously think I'm in love with myself.

Missing

2006-01-26T19:33:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure where I've been the last week or so. My body is just in a very blah state lately. Go figure I notice it only when I realize my lack of visits to my favorite blogs...Maybe I'm just exhausted. I don't feel like I have much humor or interesting tidbits inside my head lately. I'm fun and sassy at work and the very few times I socialize, but other than that, I'm just....blah.

So what IS going thru my noggin' lately?

Should I or shouldn't I buy Oscar more Iam's dog food after the headlines in the news about the poisoned bags of food that killed 37 dogs??

Exactly how many hours before I have to be back at work?

What have I not changed about my daily routine that is leading me back to feeling this way on certain days?

Long or short hair?

My tummy hurts!

Bye

Coming to a theatre near you...

2006-01-22T21:02:00.000-06:00

Before I say good night, I thought I'd let you all end your Sunday night with this in mind about me. Tomorrow morning I get to have a camera shoved up my 'baby maker' (as coined by steph) to see if I have cyst's on my ovaries.... Sweet dreams!

Stylin' Times

2006-01-18T12:03:00.000-06:00

Just so you know Crystal, this is MY sexy look...